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#1
Is it okay to be an accessory to cheating in an exclusive relationship? i.e., sleeping with someone else's partner. I'm genuinely unsure about this. This definitely does provoke emotion, and I'm expecting someone to give me a sarcastic 'wtf no' post. But still.

From straight up, we don't want to condemn the person who just didn't know that someone they were involved with were in an exclusive relationship. That knowledge, had they known it, may have prevented them from doing anything, so we can't judge them harshly for it.

But we might not want to condemn the other person in either case.Being in an exclusive relationship entails that, at least in most circumstances, you are not 'unfaithful'. The responsibility lies with them, but is it other people's responsibility? We may want to shun the examples where someone has proactively tried to sleep with someone in a relationship, but what if someone in the relationship pursued someone else instead? That other person, if a stranger, we might have no obligation to that person's partner. It might be that, if we take a cooler eye to the matter, we don't need to condemn the person who was seduced by someone already in a relationship.

Plus, the intent and proactive pursuit of trying to sleep with someone else, whilst in a relationship, may be 'unfaithful' within itself. Whether or not someone else sleeps with them might be irrelevant from that point on. (Do we want to judge them more or less harshly depending on the success of their sexual pursuits?).

So yeah.
#4
I've boned chicks with boyfriends. As far as I'm concerned, personally so long as I don't know the guy, I have no obligation to have the moral high ground. That's up to the person in the relationship.

However, I would never engage in any sort of intimate behaviour with someone who I considered a friend.

Which unfortunately, is more than what I can say about a friend of mine...
May the Force be with You.
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#5
If you didn't know when you initially slept with someones partner then you're not responsible.
However, if you continue to do it after you find out, or even don't own up to it then you are just as bad as her.
#6
I cheated when I was in Jr. High. The teacher left the room when we were in the middle of a test, and I took the liberty of opening my book and looking up the answers.

I'm bad
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#8
Quote by Casketcreep
If you didn't know when you initially slept with someones partner then you're not responsible.
However, if you continue to do it after you find out, or even don't own up to it then you are just as bad as her.

Why?
#9
Quote by Craigo
Why?


It's called being a nice guy. You honestly think it is right to be with someone who has a partner? To aide them in their dubious behavior?

Even though they're strangers, you should feel for their partner / feel for the person who may feel incredibly guilty after "sexy time".

IMO.
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#10
Quote by Adam98150
It's called being a nice guy. You honestly think it is right to be with someone who has a partner? To aide them in their dubious behavior?

I don't know, so could you explain why?
#11
I bucked an older woman on holiday. She was married with kids (milf!) I felt absolutly no guilt at all. She'd went abroad without her husband and I figure if it wasn't me it woulda been someone else... their relationship is clearly destined to fail unless he remains oblivious. But yea, i don't give a shit. It would be different if I knew the guy or was ever gonna bump into either of them.


EDIT: to sum it up, feelsgood do it.
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#12
Quote by Craigo
I don't know, so could you explain why?


I could, but judging by your signature you wouldn't give a ****.
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#13
Quote by Adam98150
It's called being a nice guy. You honestly think it is right to be with someone who has a partner? To aide them in their dubious behavior?

It is what you make it.

Now... the consequences that may follow might not be so nice if their partner has bad temperament and finds out about your shenanigans.
#14
Quote by Adam98150
I could, but judging by your signature you wouldn't give a ****.

That question in my sig is actually a half-serious philosophical question about language, just represented provocatively
Last edited by Craigo at Sep 12, 2011,
#15
I like to think that there are 3 people in a cheating relationship, (the cheater, the cheated, and the cheatee) and that each of them is equally responsible. The cheated is responsible because they aren't meeting the needs of the cheater, the cheater is responsible because they choose to go elsewhere for their needs, (rather than work it out with the cheated) and the cheatee is responsible because their presence is keeping the problem in the original relationship from being solved.
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#16
Well, in my opinion, intimate relationships are only for 2.

And judging by what I see, you agree that if someone in a relationships agree to have sex with you, they are wrong, but you consider that if you AGREE to it then you are not?

But you are, because you're deliberately ruining the intimaticy of his/her relationship.

She/he is wrong, but that does not mean you are not.
#17
Quote by doomded
I like to think that there are 3 people in a cheating relationship, (the cheater, the cheated, and the cheatee) and that each of them is equally responsible. The cheated is responsible because they aren't meeting the needs of the cheater, the cheater is responsible because they choose to go elsewhere for their needs, (rather than work it out with the cheated) and the cheatee is responsible because their presence is keeping the problem in the original relationship from being solved.

lol.


Or the cheater could be a whimsical ass who is never content. That is a very real possibility that nobody has any control over (except themselves).
#18
I don't really have morals, so if any female gives me a shot at her vag, I'm going for it, regardless of her Facebook relationship status.
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#19
If you know they are in a committed relationship, you are in the wrong. If not then you are just a victim of circumstance.
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Last edited by Prototype4342 at Sep 12, 2011,
#20
Quote by dudetheman
I don't really have morals.

lol. So rogue.
#22
I mean, it's wrong to steal, but it's also wrong to accept stolen goods.

And I'm not calling women property, Due.

In this case, I'd consider it just a matter of not being insensitive. I realize that someone who makes fun of someone else is more wrong than the people who laugh at the person, but the person who laughs is a dick, too.
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Last edited by Jack Off Jill at Sep 12, 2011,
#23
i cheated once and i will never do it again, it was devastating to myself even.
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#24
Quote by Craigo
Is it okay to be an accessory to cheating in an exclusive relationship? i.e., sleeping with someone else's partner. I'm genuinely unsure about this. This definitely does provoke emotion, and I'm expecting someone to give me a sarcastic 'wtf no' post. But still.

Having been there done that this is what goes on in my mind about it.

Make sure the other dude is not in your social circle or not known well in it.

This day and age make sure he cannot find you on facebook (lock up your privacy settings and everything). Same thing if you have a blog or any website connected to your real name.

Do not try to start a relationship with the girl, she's cheated at least once that you know of for certain. Bound to do it again.

Don't talk about the girl with your friends keep your private moments private. Don't even brag about gettin your dick wet.

It's not my fault they have issues and the girl wants to get action elsewhere.


On that note if a girlfriend of mine cheats on me, my issues are with her and myself. Where did we go wrong. Not whoever the dude was. I've been cheated on twice. Figuring out what we did wrong as a couple or what drove it to that point gained me some valuable knowledge that I take into every new relationship. Rather than get mad I got experienced and learned what I did wrong or what I could have done better.
#25
Quote by doomded
The cheated is responsible because they aren't meeting the needs of the cheater


I'm not sure you realize how most men act. If it has a hole, they will f*ck it, regardless of their or the other person's relationship status at that point. They may be very happily married, but cheat because, lets face it, we are monkeys trying to procreate, shooting DNA at anything that will have it.

Quote by doomded
and the cheatee is responsible because their presence is keeping the problem in the original relationship from being solved.


The cheatee may be somewhat responsible, but what if the cheater never told them about said relationship? Are they still in the wrong? I can't see how you could blame them in that circumstance.
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#26
I really feel I should get involved here, I'm not sure if I can bring myself to do so though...

Edit:
Quote by BlackVoid
Having been there done that this is what goes on in my mind about it.

Make sure the other dude is not in your social circle or not known well in it.

This day and age make sure he cannot find you on facebook (lock up your privacy settings and everything). Same thing if you have a blog or any website connected to your real name.

Do not try to start a relationship with the girl, she's cheated at least once that you know of for certain. Bound to do it again.

Don't talk about the girl with your friends keep your private moments private. Don't even brag about gettin your dick wet.

It's not my fault they have issues and the girl wants to get action elsewhere.


On that note if a girlfriend of mine cheats on me, my issues are with her and myself. Where did we go wrong. Not whoever the dude was. I've been cheated on twice. Figuring out what we did wrong as a couple or what drove it to that point gained me some valuable knowledge that I take into every new relationship. Rather than get mad I got experienced and learned what I did wrong or what I could have done better.

The fuck were you when I needed advice?!
Last edited by whoomit at Sep 12, 2011,
#27
Quote by whoomit
I really feel I should get involved here, I'm not sure if I can bring myself to do so though...

Go on then, the door's over there.


#28
I've cheated and been cheated on.

Lesson I learned? Just don't do it. If you sleep with said person and they don't reveal they're in a relationship until after, then you really are just a victim of circumstance.
But if you know full well that they're cheating and laying it on a plate for you, you're at fault.

I wouldn't cheat, or be an accessory to a cheater. It's not worth it for my own moral code, even if it was Emma Stone or Angelina Jolie
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#30
Quote by BlackVoid
On that note if a girlfriend of mine cheats on me, my issues are with her and myself. Where did we go wrong. Not whoever the dude was.

If the guy knew we were in a relationship he's finished. Cheating is my one huge relationship pet peeve.
"Social correctness has traditionally had nothing whatever to do with reason, logic, or physics. In fact, in England it is generally considered socially incorrect to know stuff or think about things."
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#31
Quote by whoomit
I really feel I should get involved here, I'm not sure if I can bring myself to do so though...

Edit:

The fuck were you when I needed advice?!
lol, prolly trolling but not having an account to post on because i was too lazy.

Quote by Prototype4342
If the guy knew we were in a relationship he's finished. Cheating is my one huge relationship pet peeve.

I'm speaking from my own circumstances and experience. It can't apply to all situations. But hopefully somebody gets something useful from it. Maybe some circumstances do indeed warrant blaming the 3rd party.

But from hearing my friends experiences and drawing from my own. Most dudes are not humble enough to point the blame inwards because it takes balls to admit the problem started with yourself. Most of the time blaming the 3rd person is just an easy cop-out so you don't have to blame yourself.
Last edited by BlackVoid at Sep 12, 2011,
#32
A better question is why anyone thinks Emma Stone is attractive.
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#33
Quote by Jack Off Jill
A better question is why anyone thinks Emma Stone is attractive.


Y'kidding?
I think she's damn hot.
May the Force be with You.
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#34
By being in a relationship, two people make an agreement to be sexually exclusive (open relationships aside). By breaking that agreement you are doing something wrong. I'd say both the cheater and the person they cheated with are in the wrong, because there's is no way that one of them is 100% accountable and responsible. It is almost always at least a mutual action, so both people are committing a moral mischief.
Last edited by vagelier at Sep 12, 2011,
#35
Quote by Oblivion_Rps
Y'kidding?
I think she's damn hot.

I think you're nuts. She kinda looks like Shere Khan. Tim Burton should have hired her to play the Cheshire Cat.
Quote by vagelier
By being in a relationship, two people make an agreement to be exclusive (open relationships aside). By breaking that agreement you are doing something wrong. I'd say both the cheater and the person they cheated with are in the wrong, because there's is no way that one of them is 100% accountable and responsible. It is almost always at least a mutual action, so both people are committing a moral mischief.

I don't really think of the person who cheats with the cheater as responsible, honestly. But I do think he's a dick.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
Last edited by Jack Off Jill at Sep 12, 2011,
#36
Why wouldn't he/she be responsible? If the person makes a choice to sleep with a person and knows that this will break an agreement, I would definitely say he/she is responsible.
#37
Quote by vagelier
Why wouldn't he/she be responsible? If the person makes a choice to sleep with a person and knows that this will break an agreement, I would definitely say he/she is responsible.

Because he's not part of the agreement. He doesn't have to adhere to the rules of the relationship because he's not in the relationship.
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Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#38
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Because he's not part of the agreement. He doesn't have to adhere to the rules of the relationship because he's not in the relationship.

if he knows they are in a relationship he does, otherwise he deserves to get his ass kicked hard
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#39
Quote by Jack Off Jill
Because he's not part of the agreement. He doesn't have to adhere to the rules of the relationship because he's not in the relationship.

Although that makes sense, he is still contributing to the breaking of the agreement. Even though he might not commit a crime himself, he is still encouraging others to do so, which in itself is a crime IMO.

edit: also, even though it is an agreement between the two partners, there's still sort of a moral code that says keeps your hands off girlfriends. Cheating with them would entail breaking that moral code as well.
Last edited by vagelier at Sep 12, 2011,
#40
Quote by JimmyBanks6
if he knows they are in a relationship he does, otherwise he deserves to get his ass kicked hard


Hardly. It isn't a 3 man relationship.
As far as I'm concerned, SHE'S cheating and the person she's cheating with is just taking an opportunity.
She's the one that should care about the boyfriend's feelings. Not him. He doesn't know the guy.

Quote by vagelier
Although that makes sense, he is still contributing to the breaking of the agreement. Even though he might not commit a crime himself, he is still encouraging others to do so, which in itself is a crime IMO.


If the girl has her mind set on it, he's not encouraging her.

If not him, someone else.
I'd rather know it was me getting laid than someone else.
May the Force be with You.
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