#1
A basic summary of my lyric-writing style;

I write lyrics in a way that.. It tells a sort of story that is spiced up with irony and a LOT of elucidated scenarios. Most lyrics correlate to romance, a scene, or just absolute irregular situations being made to SEEM 'normal' to the listeners.

Sometimes a few lines of lyrics I write are MEANT to be very vague with a vexed expression in order to really give the story a blunt personal perspective to the listener.
As if a teenager wrote it with an adolescent thinking sort of personality.

Here are a few lyrics I've written. Please give me all criticism as necessary.

Thank you and enjoy the below lyrics/verse I've written. (color coded to tell that their in separate songs I've wrote.

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All of these memories are etchy-sketched into my skull, like permanent paintings on a wall, I can't answer your questions because I have a nomadic head, darling.

But I can't tell you that I have nomadic head,
I have this thing all wrapped in my control like I'm tied up in a string(strung) swing.

From electricity from the microphone to the rapture of jubilation,
you're like an airship of sighs waiting for your goodbyes.
And I'm like feral rain to the speaker, to the fracture in my head, from my eyes- looking down at your feet (wet) I'll be your night light.


Sweet little honey bee's sitting in manufactured trees but,
Me and you are sitting in a honey moon.


Baby, You're a piece of art..
A beautiful heart.
We're so damn far so let's sing a song
About how close we are.



So what am I suppose to do with your name all on my shoes;
With these scars and fallen stars-

You kept me hanging like a heart on your tattered walls of art, labled as a "****ed-Up Start."


I'm an instant coffee, and your a dizzy-addict. Do you really wanna drink me up..? Sweet coffee cup.

The other day I saw nothing.
Yesterday I saw a cloud.
Today I saw you.
Tomorrow will be the day I will love you til
The very last day ends with seeing nothing BUT you.


You left the faucet of my feeling running.


I'll always be blue in a red state..
But crumbles of my existence, will just float with the air you breath.


This rainbow puddle you make me stand in expresses how I feel just waiting for you to get home from your bus stop.

Our love is like a crushed tablet, prescribes by our hearts, and given with a reciept. But the pills aren't working..


We're rolling out the sidewalk for all these handicap hung-overs!

Now matter where she falls, her dress stays clean.

Monochrome Lovers.

Even if I knew any good words, I won't remember them.

Raise the voltage on the electric chair, I can still expose you while I'm blindfolded.

We drive our skins like crazies. (Reference to drunk drivers and sexual lovers.)

We climb our hearts like mountains. (Vague metaphor for the complications in relationships.)

You're words spill out like acid and your touch is just too placid.

The sky burns orange, at the distorted horizon.


It's not a pleasant song, flooding the streets that dries your tears,
but a unique feeling that tears apart this cloud of boredom like razors, planes and this war of names.


Blue street lights.

They are all just my scrapbook of lyrics I've written.
I don't know what to do with them or much less how to sing them in the write (right) way.

My singing is still too vague and under developed to sing them like Patrick Stump (I admire his voice.) or sing them like a "boy with troubles and overalls filled with over-all's."

I've also always had the idea of mixing in words together in a recording like the song "Radio/Video" by SOAD. That was a great word-mix. You can hear both of them but you only hear the word you want to hear.

Or I want to have parts where I speak like the character I'm singing about. (Dresden Dolls come to mind? She sings out of the song sometimes.)

As well as I need better harmonizing words together.
#2
reading all of these together made them seem very melodramatic, especially the ones about love.

that isn't criticism, i'm no poet. just my reaction.
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#3
Well I'm just trying to stay away from singing about:

Death
Blood
Cheating
Sex
Drugs
Alcohol

All that other crap used in modern music lately.
I want music to be popular and be about stuff other than just that rudimentary shit.

I want it to be about romance, scenery, society, theories, and just stories.
#4
I tried the first 4 verses in a made up melody and it has potential. If I have a chance to work out the sound I'll send it to you.