Page 1 of 2
#3
They hope to convert you, presumably. They probably have at least some success at it.
"Why should we subsidise intellectual curiosity?"
-Ronald Reagan

"Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."
-George Washington
#4
I don't know, I don't answer. Doesn't help there's a Mormon church literally at the end of my street.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#5
To distract you long enough while someone sneaks in through a window and steal your jewelry.
████████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
█████████████████████████
██████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
#7
They're slowly wearing down the material of our doors, in preparation for the day of reckoning when they descend upon us with fire and battering rams.
🙈 🙉 🙊
#9
I think most of them now aim to dodge a punch to the face, its more interesting than there beliefs
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#10
selling their religion. They get monthly quotas, just like car salesman
#11
What do they wish to achieve? They don't actually know, they've never gotten as far as speaking to someone before.
455 75 34 88


(´・ω・`)


Quote by strait jacket
Do you like being sigged or, like me do you feel strangely violated?
#12
idk, I usually let my dogs out once they get up the driveway.
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#14
To test the structural integrity of your door. Asshole.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#15
They have to do it when they reach a certain level in their worship I believe. I almost dated one but since I wasn't one she would have be exiled from the hall and her family would stop talking to her for the rest of her life.

And also, google it.
#17
Piece of mind for the apocalypse they keep predicting.
Quote by midnight ride
They have to do it when they reach a certain level in their worship I believe.
My mum was raised a JW and she did it when she was a little girl, so I don't think that's correct.
I almost dated one but since I wasn't one she would have be exiled from the hall and her family would stop talking to her for the rest of her life.
And yeah that sounds very JW. Not all of them are ****ing crazy cultish like that, though. Or so I'm told by JW's on this website.

Although, saying that, every Christian I talk to on a negative aspect says their church isn't like that. Maybe it's all atheist propaganda.
The UG Awards exist only to instill me with existential doubt.


For me, the 60's ended that day in 1978...

Willies. Fuck the lick and fuck you too.
Last edited by TheBurningFish at Sep 13, 2011,
#18
My girlfriend's dad's family (or part of them) are Jehovah's witnesses. Never met any of them, so not too bothered as they won't have any control over her or us, but my personal opinion (based on what I was led to believe about them) is that their faction of christianity is a bit of a farce, and they try to convert people on the doorsteps because they believe only a certain number of people are allowed into heaven (think it has to do with the words 'score' for 20, times by itself or something along those lines) and by converting people to their religious order they hope to find greater favour in God, and thus have more chance of being selected to enter heaven on the 'Day of Reckoning', while everyone else is left in Purgatory until their fate has been judged...

If I'm wrong, I apologise but I can't be bothered to go look it up now
Hey, look. Sigs are back.
#19
I heard apparently they get some kind of xp and rank based on how many converts they get, and the top 5000 or something get to go to heaven the rest don't. I was then told they are then inherently selfish because they know that new convert will never beat them in the leaderboards. At least that's how I interpreted it when someone whined about it in 5 minutes to me. I just went 'oh pointless leaderboard boosting' and no one knew what I meant.

We don't get that many of them in London, though one of my neighbours is one and the only thing notable was that they didn't celebrate birthdays.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#20
Quote by TheBurningFish
Piece of mind for the apocalypse they keep predicting.


sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#21
Quote by theguitarist
We don't get that many of them in London, though one of my neighbours is one and the only thing notable was that they didn't celebrate birthdays.

Forgot about that; gf's dad doesn't celebrate Christmas or his birthday... don't know if he celebrates any seasonal holiday actually.
Hey, look. Sigs are back.
#22
I don't know. They come to my door rarely.

But from what I can gather it's basically going to door to door and somehow convincing someone without the administration of drugs to join some religion.
#23
I don't know what they're aiming for before they knock on my door but they know what I'm aiming for after I open it.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#24
As the grandson of Jehovah's Witnesses, let me shed some light...

They go around knocking on doors hoping to start the conversion process, or at least "plant a seed of interest" as it were. They see it as one of the things Jehovah calls them to do: lead others into the Kingdom of Jehovah. They see it as saving others from suffering during Reckoning.

That's why they go around knocking on doors.
I like St. Anger. Ridicule me, daddy

Quote by ErikLensherr

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#25
My next door neighbour is a Jehova. He's pretty high up in his church as well.
It seems to me that they just do each other a lot of favours, such as he needed a new birdhouse built for his budgies etc. so someone from his church built him one for free and my neighbour did some accountancy work for him in return.

Seems like a cool system.
#27
They're hoping very ardently that you're one of those asshole who opens the door naked

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#28
Quote by DisarmGoliath
My girlfriend's dad's family (or part of them) are Jehovah's witnesses. Never met any of them, so not too bothered as they won't have any control over her or us, but my personal opinion (based on what I was led to believe about them) is that their faction of christianity is a bit of a farce, and they try to convert people on the doorsteps because they believe only a certain number of people are allowed into heaven (think it has to do with the words 'score' for 20, times by itself or something along those lines) and by converting people to their religious order they hope to find greater favour in God, and thus have more chance of being selected to enter heaven on the 'Day of Reckoning', while everyone else is left in Purgatory until their fate has been judged...

If I'm wrong, I apologise but I can't be bothered to go look it up now

Well, one of my friends is a Jehovah's witness and she said they do believe that only a limited number of people get into heaven but as for the rest of the people, they believe that God will one day make the earth into a paradise for everybody to live on.
If Rock is a life-style, then Metal's an addiction

Yelloooow!


Of The


UG Challenge

#29
Quote by SteveHouse
They're hoping very ardently that you're one of those asshole who opens the door naked

Well that explains it.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#30
am i the only person that has never had a jehovah's witness knock on my door? i knew a friend that has a jehovah's witness as a mother, though
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#31
Quote by LazyLatinoRocke
Well, one of my friends is a Jehovah's witness and she said they do believe that only a limited number of people get into heaven but as for the rest of the people, they believe that God will one day make the earth into a paradise for everybody to live on.


If they believe only a limited number of people will get to heaven, why do they spread their message instead of just holding onto it for themselves?

^Not that I believe that at all...but it's never made sense to me.
#32
I know I heard that they actually get payed if they succeed in converting anyone, don't know if it's true though
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#33
Quote by SteveHouse
They're hoping very ardently that you're one of those asshole who opens the door naked


I actually did that once.
Saw them a few doors down.
Got naked and waited.
They knocked on my door.
I opened the door.
Never had another one after that.
#34
They want you to telepathically submit to their lizard overlords.

My mate actually made a Jehovah's Witness cry once by meticulously deconstructing their faith over the course of an hour. Needless to say he doesn't get visited any more.
#35
They're actually fairly nice people. It's annoying, but sit down and talk to them once in a while. They're not trying to piss you off, in their mind they're genuinely trying to help you. I had a fairly pleasant conversation with one who came to my door once about the pros and cons of door-to-door missionaries once, and a snack and a conversation later, I don't see them anywhere near as often, and they're not very aggressive when they do come.
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 75-87
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 3-3
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 52-39
#36
Quote by laid-to-waste
am i the only person that has never had a jehovah's witness knock on my door? i knew a friend that has a jehovah's witness as a mother, though


i have never had one visit me either
#37
Seriously though, I chatted with a pair of them for like ten minutes once. They were pretty chill, but I get the feeling they hadn't been doing this long Didn't even talk about God stuff, they just liked my Killswitch Engage shirt so we talked music That was unexpected

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#38
I don't know but I once opened the door naked.
They screamed at me and told me I was to be greeted by Satan when I died.
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#40
Like most evangelicals they're only spreading the word.

I used to work with a J Dub, he was always trying to get me to look at his bible apps, he wasn't preachy really though. he wasn't trying to force beliefs I think he just thought it was cool that he had bible stuff on his phone instead of carrying an actual bible.
yo.

I BELIEVE
Page 1 of 2