#3
Quote by entity0009
I expect an array of programming puns and code-related jokes.

Well played.
REGGIE
#4
its also microsofts first day of their BUILD event and just unveiled windows 8 tablet interface in more detail
Sell and Promote your music TuneHub!



wy is yer mad at muy gramhar fer?


Quote by jimmyled
jimmybanks youre a genius.


aparently i ar smrt?
Quote by dyingLeper
jimmybanks youre a genius


GO SENS GO
#5
Quote by entity0009
I expect an array of programming puns and code-related jokes.


this++
What?! There's a clean channel on my amp?!

Quote by GoodOl'trashbag
omfg i totally forgot about that, you sir are jesus christ.
#6
Every profession deserves a bit of respect, almost doubly so to programmers.

Time on earth is like butterscotch; you really want more, even though it will probably just make you ill.



Certified lurker
#8
Quote by creelers
These puns are pretty abstract.

We should compile a list of them.
🙈 🙉 🙊
#10
Now I have an actual reason for procrastinating my work until today!
R.I.P. M.C.A.
Tweet at me bro
lushacrous loves you
Quote by blake1221
Don't be ludicrous, lushacrous.
Quote by Gunpowder
that joke regarding your username was NOT originally posted by blake1221. That was a Gunpowder original.

I INVOKE SOPA TO SMITE YE FOR THIS FALSEHOOD.
#12
Quote by IYanoplathizoI
Every profession deserves a bit of respect, almost doubly so to programmers.


Software Engineering in industry is 90% catered toward web technologies now. Programming for the web is synonymous to stabbing yourself in the left nut while you're completely sober.

Programming is as much a creative process as it is a methodical one. Good software jobs exist, but they won't anymore.

Fuck Agile, Scrum, XP, and TDD up the cramhole.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#13
Quote by darkstar2466
Software Engineering in industry is 90% catered toward web technologies now. Programming for the web is synonymous to stabbing yourself in the left nut while you're completely sober.

Programming is as much a creative process as it is a methodical one. Good software jobs exist, but they won't anymore.

Fuck Agile, Scrum, XP, and TDD up the cramhole.


Programming is part art (See my sig), part science. To bad managers and accountants don't understand that.
And managers and bean counters are why you see so many business apps that look like shit.
I remember going to an urgent care one time and saw the app they used. I wanted to vomit. All the buttons, instead of having descriptive names on them, were just numbered 1 through 8.
Software jobs took a major shit in Reno, NV. a few years back. That's what brought me back into the computer hardware/networking field. But I still wrote code. Mainly to help make my job easier. Although I had to write much of it at home.
I loved writing code. I could sit there for 20+ writing code and think nothing of it.
But the meetings sucked.

Edit:
And writing in perl (anyone remember perl?), was like stabbing both nuts with a rusty butter knife, if it didn't work right.
perl was kinda fun, but also a real challenge when doing web pages. You had to write perl, javascript and HTML all at once and keep it all straight.
Last edited by CodeMonk at Sep 13, 2011,
#14
Quote by darkstar2466
Software Engineering in industry is 90% catered toward web technologies now. Programming for the web is synonymous to stabbing yourself in the left nut while you're completely sober.

Programming is as much a creative process as it is a methodical one. Good software jobs exist, but they won't anymore.

Fuck Agile, Scrum, XP, and TDD up the cramhole.


huh?
What?! There's a clean channel on my amp?!

Quote by GoodOl'trashbag
omfg i totally forgot about that, you sir are jesus christ.
#15
Quote by darkstar2466
Software Engineering in industry is 90% catered toward web technologies now. Programming for the web is synonymous to stabbing yourself in the left nut while you're completely sober.

Programming is as much a creative process as it is a methodical one. Good software jobs exist, but they won't anymore.

Fuck Agile, Scrum, XP, and TDD up the cramhole.

idontknowwhattalkingabout.jpg
Sell and Promote your music TuneHub!



wy is yer mad at muy gramhar fer?


Quote by jimmyled
jimmybanks youre a genius.


aparently i ar smrt?
Quote by dyingLeper
jimmybanks youre a genius


GO SENS GO
#16
Quote by CodeMonk
Edit:
And writing in perl (anyone remember perl?), was like stabbing both nuts with a rusty butter knife, if it didn't work right.
perl was kinda fun, but also a real challenge when doing web pages. You had to write perl, javascript and HTML all at once and keep it all straight.


Bash, Python and Ruby are my scripting languages of choice. Never learned Perl, don't plan to unless required.

I hate how industry as a whole and too many individuals fail to recognize that after a certain point of linguistic competency, given that the programmer is not a dud to begin with, you can pick up any tool and use it for its intended purpose. Instead we like to focus on buzzwords and # of years of experience with a certain buzzword.

JavaScript is the mother of all evil right now. Wonder why facebook doesn't work well? Wonder why a $50 BILLION company works like shit?

And to the confused pitgoers, Agile, Scrum, XP, and TDD are the result of manufacturing monkeys trying to impose strict methodologies on software development. It doesn't work. It simply doesn't work. You're not supposed to do sprints in developing software - leave that to track athletes, motherfuckers.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
Last edited by darkstar2466 at Sep 13, 2011,
#17
if (post.ContainsPun == true)
{ Laugh(); }

I do C what you guys did up there though it kind of took me for a loop

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#18
Quote by darkstar2466


And to the confused pitgoers, Agile, Scrum, XP, and TDD are the result of manufacturing monkeys trying to impose strict methodologies on software development. It doesn't work. It simply doesn't work. You're not supposed to do sprints in developing software - leave that to track athletes, motherfuckers.


I was familiar with Agile, and by context I was assuming the others were development methodologies.

What I was confused about was you saying that programming has moved to 90% to web development. I am at work right now (so are most of my college buddies) doing applications development. Maybe I misunderstood, but there are tons of opportunities for non-web related programmers...

Also, I have had really positive experiences using agile development.
What?! There's a clean channel on my amp?!

Quote by GoodOl'trashbag
omfg i totally forgot about that, you sir are jesus christ.
#19
Quote by shikkaka
Also, I have had really positive experiences using agile development.


Yeah, so did I. That doesn't make it a good methodology. Stop trying to put methodology on an art form. I don't tell you HOW you should play your guitar - that would be insulting to ask of you. Why would you ask me to program in a certain fashion of your choosing? Strict methodology works on manufacturing processes because... well... they are cold and heartless and automated to the tee.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
Last edited by darkstar2466 at Sep 13, 2011,
#20
I hope no sudo nerds celebrate this day

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#21
Quote by darkstar2466
Bash, Python and Ruby are my scripting languages of choice. Never learned Perl, don't plan to unless required.

I hate how industry as a whole and too many individuals fail to recognize that after a certain point of linguistic competency, given that the programmer is not a dud to begin with, you can pick up any tool and use it for its intended purpose. Instead we like to focus on buzzwords and # of years of experience with a certain buzzword.

JavaScript is the mother of all evil right now. Wonder why facebook doesn't work well? Wonder why a $50 BILLION company works like shit?

And to the confused pitgoers, Agile, Scrum, XP, and TDD are the result of manufacturing monkeys trying to impose strict methodologies on software development. It doesn't work. It simply doesn't work. You're not supposed to do sprints in developing software - leave that to track athletes, motherfuckers.



What a lot of those morons don't realize either is that once you become competent in one language, learning to program in another language isn't really that difficult.
That most difficult thing about learning to program is learning the logic and thought process behind it. But it still takes time. You have to learn to think in code. Apply code in everyday things like "If (bread < loaf ) GoToMarket;"
And yeah, I used to actually think like that.

Programmers also think very different in terms of time, as it applies to deadlines.
Boss asks "When will it be done?" If the programmer says "One week", they mean "One month". Cause of course, new features get requested, usually at the last minute.

One of my colleagues went to some tech show years back. They had a guy there for entertainment. Did a song called "Version 1.0" ( or something like that). Sung about the old dog and pony show and shit. Wish I still had it. As a programmer, it was one of the funniest things I had ever heard. And soooo true.
Last edited by CodeMonk at Sep 13, 2011,
#22
Quote by darkstar2466
Yeah, so did I. That doesn't make it a good methodology. Stop trying to put methodology on an art form. I don't tell you HOW you should play your guitar - that would be insulting to ask of you. Why would you ask me to program in a certain fashion of your choosing?


I have never been able to fully agree with this sentiment. I agree that programming can entail elegant and creative solutions to problems, but programming professionally requires a way to meet deadlines and a standardized way to code in order to make code maintainable and a product successful.
What?! There's a clean channel on my amp?!

Quote by GoodOl'trashbag
omfg i totally forgot about that, you sir are jesus christ.
#23
bool isDirty()
        {
                //Why do you always go out and
                return dirty;
         }

I'm sorry guys, couldn't resist.
Last edited by creelers at Sep 13, 2011,
#25
Quote by CodeMonk
What a lot of those morons don't realize either is that once you become competent in one language, learning to program in another language isn't really that difficult.
That most difficult thing about learning to program is learning the logic and thought process behind it. But it still takes time. You have to learn to think in code. Apply code in everyday things like "If (bread < loaf ) GoToMarket;"
And yeah, I used to actually think like that.

Programmers also think very different in terms of time, as it applies to deadlines.
Boss asks "When will it be done?" If the programmer says "One week", they mean "One month". Cause of course, new features get requested, usually at the last minute.

One of my colleagues went to some tech show years back. They had a guy there for entertainment. Did a song called "Version 1.0" ( or something like that). Sung about the old dog and pony show and shit. Wish I still had it. As a programmer, it was one of the funniest things I had ever heard. And soooo true.




That's such a lulz thing to play for programmers - too appropriate!



Excellent thought processing only happens when you've paid attention enough and worked on your logic in analyzing things of all sorts from a programmatic perspective. The actual programming matters very little - it's a process of putting together code and refining it until the idea in your brain comes to fruition. Bad thought process -> bad code. You and I understand that - most of the world still doesn't lol.

Quote by shikkaka
I have never been able to fully agree with this sentiment. I agree that programming can entail elegant and creative solutions to problems, but programming professionally requires a way to meet deadlines and a standardized way to code in order to make code maintainable and a product successful.


Of course you need certain procedures and practices as a team to get your product out the door, but you don't need to resort to absolute shit like Agile to get that done. Professional development begins with a professional thought process and attitude. In the software world, that means using your own discretion in development, testing, and maintenance. Writing tests and then writing code to make those tests pass is not the right way to build software...

Quote by CodeMonk
I found that song.
Any and ALL programmers, you gotta hear this. Its funny.
http://soundcloud.com/codemonk8/comedy-versions-1-1


"Deep in Engineering, where mortals seldom go..."

Epic.

p.s. "Connectors that corrode, unproven algorithms, and self-modifying code."

Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
Last edited by darkstar2466 at Sep 13, 2011,
#26
Quote by darkstar2466


Of course you need certain procedures and practices as a team to get your product out the door


I was under the impression you didn't want to force any kind of structure on development because it is "art"?
What?! There's a clean channel on my amp?!

Quote by GoodOl'trashbag
omfg i totally forgot about that, you sir are jesus christ.
#27
Quote by shikkaka
I was under the impression you didn't want to force any kind of structure on development because it is "art"?


Its a balancing act.
Well, more like juggling, with chainsaws.
#28
Quote by CodeMonk
Its a balancing act.
Well, more like juggling, with chainsaws.


Really no other way to describe it lol.

And that's how it needs to be, if you want people to maintain their dignity and creativity.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#30
Oh cool, I didn't know there was a programming day. Cool beans yo.


And do I have to include a programming pun in this post? There's so few people in here that program I'm worried it'll just echo to the depths of the pit... Ah well, a couple programmers function better together than a multitude.
#32
Quote by creelers
While these puns are awful I'm going to break out of this thread.


Do what you want, I'm going to continue making puns. Don't even consider arguing, I'm done.
#33
Quote by smokeysteve22
Im learning DSP currently which involves programming

Do i win?


Only if your frame based processing is impeccable.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#34
Quote by SlayingDragons
Do what you want, I'm going to continue making puns. Don't even consider arguing, I'm done.

How many arguments does it require?
🙈 🙉 🙊
#36
Quote by creelers
While these puns are awful I'm going to break out of this thread.


GOTO hell.
Quote by MakinLattes
I'd kill you and wear your skin.
Quote by Siv During Livh
To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea,

Voted UG's worst cross dresser.
Also voted #95 on UG's Top 100 2013. Like it means anything....
#37
Quote by creelers
What can we even get out of this argument or is it void?


nop, you set yourself up for this. I may just come over there and pop you one.
#38
Quote by muffinduck01
GOTO hell.


obligatory xkcd

What?! There's a clean channel on my amp?!

Quote by GoodOl'trashbag
omfg i totally forgot about that, you sir are jesus christ.