I was writing something today and im not sure if I like it or not. it carrys the message that i have but it seems to intricate in a sense

"Gray man stands on wiser soil
So silent and so frail
To reconcile continuance
Alone in this world

There is only one love
Love is but desire
A noble man is waiting
Waiting for the end"
5150 III 100W, Mesa 4x12 Cab, Framus Cobra Cab, M-Audio Profire 610, ISA One Pre, SC607-b, Equator D5's, Countryman Type 85 Di box, Radial JCR, Superior Drummer, SSD 4 Ex, TS9, NS-2 and the list goes on and on
Seems fine to me.
Very nice lines too.
Then I whispered in her ear, fear me dear, for I am Death.

Why are you hiding?
Because the demons from my dreams are everywhere..

Are you arguing with a German guy about how to speak German?