This is a new song I wrote. The final verse is sort of extended as it's a solo version I also play this with a friend who sings too. I always good give crit and will be posting some crit over the next few days thanks in advance for any feedback. Also I'm only really a strummer and have a lead guitarist too put lead on top to make it more interesting guitar wise. other then that I've taken on advice I've had before hopefully it shows.
Nice song, your voice reminds me of Lemon Demon, which isnt bad. The song is poppy i think. The lyrics paint a quirky and interesting scene in my mind.
Ok, I think it makes no sense to talk about the sound in general, because it is a demo.
I can imagine that with a bright guitar and some lead, that this will be a good piece of music.
I like the rap-like Vocals, especially at the beginning, but you should try to put more power into your singing. I think that there is more potential.

Maybe add some percussions, a tambourine, or some light drum sounds, nothing to heavy.

Remember me, when you put a complete recording online.
Hey man you kinda have a RHCP quality to your voice. I like it man. The only thing I would say is sometimes is it's hard to understand what you're saying. I would really like to hear a now polished version of the song! great job you have song really good writing chops. Keep it up!
Originally Posted by JAHellraiser
Go into Guitar Center and tell them you are willing to spend $3000 on as many Spider and MG half stacks as they can give you.
I think with a bit of souping up and some good arrangement it could be a good happy-go-lucky song. I'm getting a ska/pop feel from it, probably because of the fast rap singing and the use of the word "badman". The chorus is really catchy too.

But yeah, don't leave this as just an acoustic song. The lyrics and vocals are good but the chord sequence is pretty simple and repetitive and the music side of the song would benefit from some more layers in the future
Started good at first but drifted off a bit for me, way too repetitive as it is - verses are good though. Definitely agree on the RHCP thing mentioned earlier, infact I'd probably recommend switching it up to a full band version at some point with similar sorta instrumentation to some of their more recent stuff.
Thanks for the feedback everyone. Was not expecting the RHCP comment so thanks for that man I've always loved singing under the bridge so I'll probably polish that up for live performances.

I'm going to give this song a rewrite/complete overhaul of the lyrics and get the dynamics tweaked between the singing and rapping and make it more flowly and have some changes.

As of yesterday I'm going to be going regularly to the rehearsal studios to practice my singing and get power behind my voice. The quality wont be a problem once its finished.

And getting music behind will be easy as I think all my friends (except some of the girls I know) are musicians!

It reallly helps getting another point of view thanks
I liked this, as someone else said, once you added a brighter guitar sound and a solo or 2.
It sounds to me that you're playing and singing at the same time which is probably throwing the tempo of the lyrics out.
Good though, would like to hear the finished product.

C4C, Check out my bands songs on our profile.