#1
It ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It don’t matter, anyhow
An’ it ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don’t know by now
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I’ll be gone
You’re the reason I’m trav’lin’ on
Don’t think twice, it’s all right

It ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An’ it ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
I’m on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was somethin’ you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin’ anyway
So don’t think twice, it’s all right

It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal
Like you never did before
It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal
I can’t hear you anymore
I’m a-thinkin’ and a-wond’rin’ all the way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I’m told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don’t think twice, it’s all right

I’m walkin’ down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I’m bound, I can’t tell
But goodbye’s too good a word, gal
So I’ll just say fare thee well
I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don’t mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don’t think twice, it’s all right
#2
Friend, the use of the word babe screams cliche Justin Bieber. Also, your overall lack of grammar leads me to believe this is supposed to be rap.

Lines like:
I once loved a woman, a child I’m told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul

Makes me think this song is about pedophilia but I don't think you wanted to go for that. It just seems to lack an overall direction except you basically telling off some woman. Try adding imagery to your work that hasn't been done over and over. Walking down a lonesome road, rooster's crowing and what not are ancient and cliche

Goodluck!

C4C yo.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1479311
#3
I will give a Critique...Honest

Quote by BRM_PTX
It ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It don’t matter, anyhow
An’ it ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don’t know by now
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I’ll be gone
You’re the reason I’m trav’lin’ on
Don’t think twice, it’s all right
On the first few reads it seems good. I like the feel of it. It gives of a bluesy feel to me. I feel that a writer of you calaber could find a way to keep the bluesy feel without using this almost "ebonics' language. The last line also falls abit short compared to the rest of the stanza.

It ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An’ it ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
I’m on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was somethin’ you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin’ anyway
So don’t think twice, it’s all right
The use of the word "babe" is getting old quickly. Can you not think of a better word to use here? I mean this is some good stuff. I escpecially like the line "I'm on the dark side of the road" But the ebonics is killing this song.

It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal
Like you never did before
It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal
I can’t hear you anymore
I’m a-thinkin’ and a-wond’rin’ all the way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I’m told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don’t think twice, it’s all right
wow you switched to "gal"..how original......I dont feel the last line is good enought o be repeated in every stanza....it is an ok line just not that good....

I’m walkin’ down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I’m bound, I can’t tell
But goodbye’s too good a word, gal
So I’ll just say fare thee well
I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don’t mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don’t think twice, it’s all right
Ok this reads just like all the others....This has gotten boring and repetative....




Overall It feels like you wrote one stanza four times. The repeated use of overused words gives this a very cleche feeling. It is a good idea just bad execution.

Go ahead and Crit me if you so wish
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1480190
I haz gotten gud
#4
Quote by ApatheticMe
I will give a Critique...Honest


Overall It feels like you wrote one stanza four times. The repeated use of overused words gives this a very cleche feeling. It is a good idea just bad execution.

Go ahead and Crit me if you so wish
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1480190


You're song is trash, mine means a lot to me. I work at a car wash and I feel real despair sometimes. I've released this feeling in this song.
~~~Founder of the Hendrix Club~~~
PM me to join
Member #2 of the Cream club
#5
If you think my song is trash. Then tell me why it is trash. Critique me and tell me were i can improve. I could have said that your song was trash. I did not. I gave a critique and told you what I didnt like about it. So it would be appreciated if you showed the same respect.
I haz gotten gud
#7
I work at a car wash and I feel real despair sometimes.

this is one of the funniest things I've at least seen on here, anyway.

And you made your point, the kids of today haven't heard of bd, but I prob hadn't heard this song til I was 18 either. It'll always be like this because ug is ug, its an internet forum, and after awhile it gets how it gets, people moveon.org, and the kids who joined at 13 are now 17 and spell Jimi like Jimmy.. whaddya gonna do?