#1
keep in mind this is a rough first draft so critique it as harshly as possible, but try not to just be blunt

If I leave before I had
a chance to say
all the things that
I profess here today
all my dreams that
i've had for you
and all the reasons
I do what I must do
know that i never mean
to cause you pain
and hope for me
you wished the same

(working chorus)
Goodbye now
please dont cry for me
goodbye now
this is best for me
goodbye now
its what supposed to be

Now i've feared I
left you questions
answers dont come quick
so please dont question
take these words
igive and digest them
let them sit
and make them fester
cause no maybe finally
i'll be better

(chorus)

Dont cry for me
I dont think I can take it
dont cry for me
I dont think i can make it
dont cry for me
you heart i will break it
dont cry for me
cause i'm not here
Last edited by TrevorStrings at Sep 18, 2011,
#2
It's quite good. I think you should join up some of the lines in the first two verses because it can be difficult to understand. The chorus is pretty good. The last verse is really good, I wouldn't change it.
#3
Quote by StrumThatFender
It's quite good. I think you should join up some of the lines in the first two verses because it can be difficult to understand. The chorus is pretty good. The last verse is really good, I wouldn't change it.


thanks really appreciate the criticism