#1
it was a good day.
threw out our namesakes
watched them wander into Chesapeake
as we quietly sip coffees
and try to keep each other
warm each morning -
it seems insurance fraud is all we got,
a few matches and a blanket
but if nothing else happens
at least we own our sadness
our metropolitan hearts
your wildfire address
aks me how this isn't madness
and i don't know what i wouldn't do
(to see you and me beneath a honey moon.)
#2
Beautiful. I don't like your nonsense punctuation - the comma after "got" is irksome instead of a colon; the period embedded after the parenthetical ending phrase should follow a clause. But you know what? I don't really give a shit. It's still beautiful.

peace
Nothing to see here. Move along.
#3
namesakes and chesapeake was great-

(i think aks was a typo)

really love the dual image of honeymoon/honey moon. I think its really important to see words as separate images within themselves and you pulled this off nicely. the piece is still a little abstract for my taste but it still creates an interesting mood- it is swift in its execution and breezes along, conjuring up ideas that sit together like ribbons. I can't help but feel there was a little more here that you were just on the cusp of detailing but held back a bit (possibly connecting this theme with your subject?) but overall this was enjoyable. if you can take a look at my newest, that would be wonderful.
#4
could be cleaned just a tad to perfect the cadence, but really, it's beautiful; you write beautifully
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja