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#1


...barenaked.

The above is not just literal. It is a metaphor. I lay myself before you, to win your votes, and your hearts. My reasons pure, my methods transparent, my balls slightly aired and scented with Old Spice. My balls do smell like the man that your man could smell like.

Too long you have seen presidents come and go that have done nothing. They have used you, probed you with their wicked tongues. This shall change. I have tasted power, but turned it down, like Julius Caesar before me (up until he actually agreed to power anyways).

I was indeed a mod for a time. One of the few who are picked up from the rank and file of this fine community. Did I leave you? No. Did I carry on as a member of the Pit? That I did. We laughed, we discussed, with no fear of reprisal from my banhammer. I relinquished my title as moderator, as I felt that I was losing touch with you fine, fine people. No more. I have learnt from that experience, and chose to serve. This is not a vote for someone to control and reign over you. This is a vote for someone to serve you, to create a better Pit for you.

But enough about that, what about the other candidates?

tyler_j is far too young, too inexperienced to step up to the plate. Does he remember Icyhot? Whammy without a whammy bar? Squeaky sexual tortoise? Nay. But I was there. I. WAS. THERE.

minkaro is an interesting one. I have met Minky in real life, at Chester Zoo. Talking through the separating glass between animal and zoo visitor was difficult to say the least. How can he produce an effective presidency from captivity?

Mistress Ibanez is a woman.

Slacker Babbath I consider to be my main contender. However, due to his old age and incontinence, he will spend most of the term pissing on your dreams whilst laughing through his dementia.

Thrashtastic- If anyone could fill me in on this guy, that'd be great, I have literally no clue. I highly doubt he is indeed thrashtastic. Probably technocoretastic.

Jackal58... what did he do in his last term? Any care to answer? Tumbleweed? Exactly. We want a doer, not a not... doer.

Craigo is a f*cking polar bear. He doesn't have the cognitive capacity to lead. Dr Phil however, is a genius, a paragon amongst our race. Sure, polar bears may be big and have claws, but have you ever seen Dr Phil eat out of a dustbin?

I may have missed out a couple, but that is paramount to my aim for an efficient presidency that deals with real issues and not bother with the useless and the unnecessary. I will listen to your concerns, job applications for my cabinet, and provide more pictures as the stories and skeletons find their way out of my "esteemed" competitor's closets/cardboard box homes.

I open the floor.
#3
yyou're wearing a guitar
THE SOLE PURPOSE OF THIS SIG IS TO GRAB YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS POST OF UTTER GENIUS
#4
You have no body hair, therefore lack the manliness I require in a leader.

1977 Burny FLG70
2004 EBMM JP6
2016 SE Holcolmb
#5
Quote by Deliriumbassist






Last edited by Jyrgen at Sep 22, 2011,
#6
Oh captain, my captain.
Yea that's right, I want something to explode

I've been deaf, now I want noise

LOUD LOVE
#7
oh boy
Sell and Promote your music TuneHub!



wy is yer mad at muy gramhar fer?


Quote by jimmyled
jimmybanks youre a genius.


aparently i ar smrt?
Quote by dyingLeper
jimmybanks youre a genius


GO SENS GO
#10
I'm tempted just for that picture.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#11
He was there!

You have my vote. (Unless I get bribes elsewhere)
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LET'S GO BUCKS
#12
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Mistress Ibanez is a woman.
Aww hayul naw!
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: Chick Corea, Yes, Genesis, Jethro Tull


It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#13
the pic is good enough for me. i did not read. i will do as you command.
your whisper may sway the weak, but when i speak it roars the seas
#14
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Mistress Ibanez is a woman.



Quote by UntilISleep
You have excellent taste in literature, dear sir

Quote by Primus2112
You have excellent taste in video games, good sir.

Quote by GbAdimDb5m7
You have terrible taste in signatures, idiotic sir.

kkoo
#15
Quote by Deliriumbassist
I have all the hair concentrated in the manliest bit, increasing the manliness quotient.



Oh captain my captain!

1977 Burny FLG70
2004 EBMM JP6
2016 SE Holcolmb
#18
I recently came out of the closet and want your nudes now!
THE SOLE PURPOSE OF THIS SIG IS TO GRAB YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS POST OF UTTER GENIUS
#20
Strong physique
The lake was silent for some time. Finally it said:
"I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected."
#22
I vote no to Mistress because as a woman she will ban anyone who makes hilarious kitchen/sandwich jokes.
Bass is my life.
#23
Quote by Deliriumbassist
I REQUIRE:

Master of Photoshop
Minister of Propaganda
Many lawyers
Tea boys
Minister of Memology
Chancellor of the Sexy Chequers

Members for the Pitstapo.

I will take all applications and suggestions.

Quote by UntilISleep
You have excellent taste in literature, dear sir

Quote by Primus2112
You have excellent taste in video games, good sir.

Quote by GbAdimDb5m7
You have terrible taste in signatures, idiotic sir.

kkoo
#24
how about NiL?
THE SOLE PURPOSE OF THIS SIG IS TO GRAB YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS POST OF UTTER GENIUS
#26
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Memologists study memes

Chancellor of the Sexy Chequers will help me increase the sex appeal of board games. Except backgammon. That's already sexy as shit.

And teaboys make me my tea.

I am a world renown Memologist.

Too bad I don't plan on voting for you
Quote by UntilISleep
You have excellent taste in literature, dear sir

Quote by Primus2112
You have excellent taste in video games, good sir.

Quote by GbAdimDb5m7
You have terrible taste in signatures, idiotic sir.

kkoo
#28
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Voting for someone else is like voting for Johnny Bravo never to return to television. Do you want to be the reason Johnny Bravo doesn't return?

Johnny Bravo will never return. And besides there are many much better 90's cartoons.
Quote by UntilISleep
You have excellent taste in literature, dear sir

Quote by Primus2112
You have excellent taste in video games, good sir.

Quote by GbAdimDb5m7
You have terrible taste in signatures, idiotic sir.

kkoo
#29
I was voting for you anyway but you got me even more. I remember my brief days in the Bass Forum.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#30
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Thrashtastic- If anyone could fill me in on this guy, that'd be great, I have literally no clue. I highly doubt he is indeed thrashtastic. Probably technocoretastic.

And you want to be president? You're the most uninformed candidate we have.
#31
Quote by Deliriumbassist
I REQUIRE:


Many lawyers


Present and accounted for, chief.

I will be always ready to assist you in your agenda, seeing that the law is always on your side. Anybody that stands in your way will have the misfortune of having their mailbox bombarded with subpoenas for crimes they can neither understand or recall, forcing them to abandon campaigning effort to addend to their legal mishaps. I have the ability to use outdated, unrecognizable legal jargon to ensure that the opposition will fear you despite the fact that they have no understanding of what I may accuse them. Luckily for both of us, I have no respect or aspirations for my legal career, so I a not afraid to risk my reputation, status, or flesh to get the job done. I have excess flesh to put at risk anyway. Together, we can march straight to the top, and have no one slow us down. I didn't watch hours upon hours of Law and Order to have opportunity slip through my fingers.

I look forward to seeing you on the throne.



*intimidating legal font added
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LET'S GO BUCKS
#32
I will vote for you if I get a guarantee that I will become one of your tea bagger boys.
Gear
Highway One Tele (w/Custom Shop 51 Nocaster pickups)
Standard Tele (modded to Nashville specs)
Reverend Roundhouse

Orange Rockerverb 50 MKI
Vox AC4c1
Jet City JCA20H

And pedals!



"Shiva opens her arms now..
...to make sure I don't get too far"
#35
I do believe I'm the perfect candidate, for I am not appearing naked in front of my peers.


...Or a woman...
#36
Don't believe these lies. He just wants to turn the pitmonkeys into Eunuchs. Mistress_Ibanez is a far better choice.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#38
scrap that. im voting you if you join or you get someone else to join the mafia game. link is in my sig (the bottom one)
Last edited by vagelier at Sep 22, 2011,
#40
Sir, I offer my services as your Minister of Propaganda! Here's some samples of my work:

Deliriumbassist will shower us with riches!

Deliriumbassist crafted the universe from his toenail clippings!

Deliriumbassist did the kessell run in under FOUR parsecs!

The seed of Deliriumbassist bestows wisdom to those who take of it!

Deliriumbassist is the most handsomest and supercoolest guy ever!

The opponents of Deliriumbassist are all convicted trout-molestors!

Deliriumbassist! For the Pit! For Glory!