Joshua1207
Hipster Jesus
Join date: Mar 2009
1,804 IQ
#1
Made this song recently. Kind of short, but I think its decent for the most part. I don't really know how I feel about the ending portion but you guys can tell me what you think.

I'll critic back of course, and whatnot. Listen with headphones, RSE, etc.
Attachments:
Oh Yes.gp5
Oh Yes.gp4
bingeandletgo
Bañned
Join date: Oct 2007
3,620 IQ
#2
I like the beginning. Sounds very warm and comforting, hard to describe. When track 4 (Back) comes in at bar 5, I would give it a more interesting rhythm. The entire middle section felt a little disconnected and odd. I liked the part at bar 43 and onward. Very interesting and unique.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1482539
Quote by blackflag49
Condoms, for all the copious amounts of pussy with which you will be inevitably bombarded from this moment onward.


bingeandletgo
Bañned
Join date: Oct 2007
3,620 IQ
#4
Well by middle I pretty much mean 17-42. It's hard to explain. It just doesn't flow very well, and the chord progressions are to outlandish and don't work very well. No catchiness or attention-grabbing quality to it. It's not something that's dry and cut, so I can't really put my finger on it. However, I do hear potential in it. I say play around with rhythm and you may find something better. Good luck!
Quote by blackflag49
Condoms, for all the copious amounts of pussy with which you will be inevitably bombarded from this moment onward.


Amuro Jay
JOHNNY STOCK
Join date: Apr 2006
8,209 IQ
#6
I think there are some good ideas in here, it just needs a really snappy drum beat to tie it all together. Some of the melodies starting in bar 17 sound a little out of place to me, though. I feel like it's stepping out of the key or something.

The song grows on you, though, and the outro is really good. I just feel like you should have let it end on E in bar 57 instead of going back to B at the end.

It's a good song with a lot of potential, I think that a vocal melody would go great over it.

You can take a look at my track if you want: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1483106
Joshua1207
Hipster Jesus
Join date: Mar 2009
1,804 IQ
#7
I'm p sure bar 17 does change key, but I thought it flowed alright. I guess not since you're the second one to say it doesn't. And yeah, I'm no drummer, but I get more experience as I write.

And I would love to add a vocal melody if only I had any idea how to lol. Thanks for the critic though.