#1
Hello everyone. First time ever posting on UG forums.

Here's basically what happened: joined band, participating in Battle of the Bands. Band wants to play original song. I dig up crappy emo song I wrote a year ago, then write a couple others on a Saturday night. Band likes the crappy emo song more. I want to make the lyrics less embarrassing.

So anyways, any comments/suggestions/constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. I've figured out chords and a nice melody, I just need to improve the words. Think in a Secondhand Serenade/All American Rejects type of emo power ballad

Verse 1:
A sad song playing on the radio
Turn it down before it gets too loud
Depression coming through my stereo
It gets me wondering, what happened to my world

Moments like these, they get me thinking
Of who were we, who we are now, and what we'll never be
I feel so close to you
Yet so alone

Chorus: (I am considering removing the part in parenthesis)
Tell me, are we gonna be something again?
Our hearts, will they collide for a second time
Tell me that all your words are true
You make my heart explode (and it's kinda sorta pretty)

So tell me it's gonna be fine
I won't believe it a second time.

Verse 2:
Sad songs always stuck on repeat
The love we had, couldn't happen twice
But if we could do so, it'd be a remarkable feat
I feel so close, and yet so far

And I feel, that my walls are shrinking in
It takes all I can do, to stay up on my feet
Remember last year, we felt so happy
I'll relive each moment, except for the bitter end.

repeat Chorus.

Bridge/Verse 3:
Second time's the charm you say,
We have to take today
Live for today, yeah this time
you say it's gonna be okay

But you'll watch me fall and fade away
I'll come undone right in front of your eyes,
A heartbreak so poetic and it had to be mine

And you would do nothing at all
You'd watch, as I fall.

repeat Chorus