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#1
I'm ****ed up. I admit it; I'm ****ed in the head. I have these moodswings that drive me crazy. I'm neurotic; I'm constantly suspicious; I don't trust anyone; I don't have any friends since I came to university. In fact, you ****s in The Pit are the only friends I have and you assholes hate me.

I'll skip the foreplay and get straight to the money shot. I had always suspected my girlfriend of cheating on me. She had always showed me unconditional love too, and I felt guilty for suspecting her. Well, tonight I bought some ****in' Jack Daniel's. WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT JACK DANIEL'S, HATER?!

/Epic Meal Time

So, tonight I go on one of my violent moodswings. "That ****ing slut is cheating on me" is all I could think. So, I hacked into her email. Yeah, I'm an asshole. **** you. Found an email she sent to another guy.



Being an untrusting, neurotic asshole paid off.

Now, if ya'll don't mind, I'm gonna go get drunk and I'm gonna fight someone. Tell me how much of a **** up I am, and how much of a slut my girlfriend is.

Like podcasts? Listen to these!
BEER!
VIDEO GAMES!
MOVIES/GEEKY SHIT!

_______________________________________________
Last edited by zappp : Today at 4:20 PM. Reason: Suck on my balls, UG
Last edited by Colgate Total at Sep 24, 2011,
#6
Quote by MakinLattes
I thought you were having a kid.


NOPE! Well, to be fair, in my thread I said :might."

Quote by SlayingDragons
I saw that pic. >_>


You're best off without that hairy vag. <_<


She doesn't have any hair down there, bro.
Like podcasts? Listen to these!
BEER!
VIDEO GAMES!
MOVIES/GEEKY SHIT!

_______________________________________________
Last edited by zappp : Today at 4:20 PM. Reason: Suck on my balls, UG
Last edited by Colgate Total at Sep 24, 2011,
#11
Save the picture and email it to her from a bunch of emails so it looks like that guy spreaded the pic. Do it a lot until you notice an emotional response from her personally. Then confront her about it, and say "What if he really did spread the picture around?" Then dump her.

Or just spread the pic around, and tell her things aren't working out.

She may not have cheated on you, but she's looking elsewhere and that's the first step.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#12
What's that in the picture?


Are those non-naked breasts?


If so, does that really count as cheating?

I send pictures of my enormous penis all the time.


Quote by Nelsean
Save the picture and email it to her from a bunch of emails so it looks like that guy spreaded the pic. Do it a lot until you notice an emotional response from her personally. Then confront her about it, and say "What if he really did spread the picture around?" Then dump her.



And this.
#13
Quote by captaincrunk
I should have hacked when I had the chance, saved myself so much pain. Good on ya mate. Go get laid instead of fighting people.


This.

Seriously man, don't go fighting people, it'll do you no good. You'll either get a) Twatted, or b) arrested; And you'll also ruin some poor guys night who was trying to enjoy himself.

Also; get rid of her. You want someone honest and loyal.


See, thios is what I don't get about people cheating; if they aint ****ing happy in the relatioship, why not just leave instead of cheating? I'd far rather someone left me than cheated on me.
#14
Quote by Nelsean
Save the picture and email it to her from a bunch of emails so it looks like that guy spreaded the pic. Do it a lot until you notice an emotional response from her personally. Then confront her about it, and say "What if he really did spread the picture around?" Then dump her.

Not a bad idea. Though it might blow up in your face, it isn't invasive (aside from the invading you already did).
#15
Quote by Nelsean
Save the picture and email it to her from a bunch of emails so it looks like that guy spreaded the pic. Do it a lot until you notice an emotional response from her personally. Then confront her about it, and say "What if he really did spread the picture around?" Then dump her.
maximum swag detected.
#16
My brother from another mother, you mustn't do anything that will later on incriminate yourself. She isn't worth it, just get rid of her and things will eventually work itself out.
#17
Quote by Nelsean
Save the picture and email it to her from a bunch of emails so it looks like that guy spreaded the pic. Do it a lot until you notice an emotional response from her personally. Then confront her about it, and say "What if he really did spread the picture around?" Then dump her.

Or just spread the pic around, and tell her things aren't working out.

She may not have cheated on you, but she's looking elsewhere and that's the first step.

This. Flawless.

And sorry to hear that man
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#23
You could just skip all the retarded bullshit and just show her the pic, then say you can no longer trust her and dump her.


Or you could do the retarded bullshit some people have suggested in the thread.
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#25
Quote by cotyt15
you could beat her lover to a bloody pulp?


seriously? everyone's a piece of shit, especially when pushed over the edge by
someone you deeply care for. the real pieces of shit are the ones who give up
so easily.



i personally wouldnt give a shit until i caught her ****in someone else first hand..i wouldnt go through her shit to find out....then again im not the jealous type.
#26
I question the integrity of your lady friend and can understand how distraught you are but I don't think it's worth going crazy about. How long have you been at University and what are you doing there? Also, I see a correlation between heavy drug use and paranoia.

Personal experience: University is expensive and you're better off worrying about school than loose women and drugs.
#27
Quote by jetfuel495
This would require admitting that he hacked into her email account.



Though that is a breach of privacy, it obviously paid off in his favor, and confirmed his suspicions. He took a risk of being the bad guy by doing it, but turned the tables and made her the bad guy. The last thing they will argue about is him hacking her account.
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#28
She's not cheating on you. She's flirting and, of course, since all you decadent Westerners have such poor self esteem and self control, she pushed it too far.

I say smack her around. That's what I did with my wives, Khadija, Sabitcha, and Mariam. And now bitches are all over my **** when I get home from racing camels.
Catch me,
heal me,
Lift me back up to the Sun
I choose to live
#29
^ lol
Quote by GODhimself37
Though that is a breach of privacy, it obviously paid off in his favor, and confirmed his suspicions. He took a risk of being the bad guy by doing it, but turned the tables and made her the bad guy. The last thing they will argue about is him hacking her account.

It's the only thing she'll want to talk about though. Bitches be tricksy.
#30
I read the thread title and I thought we were discussion hentai doujin dialog.
Dead bull with the life from the low
I'll be massive conquistador
Give me soul and show me the door
Metal heavy, soft at the core
Gimme toro, gimme some more


Steam: Mengsk
MAL
#31
I'd do what Nealsen suggested...
I'M IN THE FIGHT TO CURE CYSTIC FIBROSIS...MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!


Quote by JustRooster
I'm a straight man, but I'd put that surfcaster right in my mouth.



Quote by JD2k9
Well, life is like a penis.
Women make it hard.
Also, it's short but seems long when it gets hard.
#33
Quote by captaincrunk

It's the only thing she'll want to talk about though. Bitches be tricksy.


Unless OP is a beta, he will control the conversation and the debauchery will be the main talking point, with the hacking a side item.

"YOU HACKED MY ACCOUNT?!"

"Gotta keep tabs on you, obviously. If you weren't a teasing cam***** I wouldn't have to."

or

"I had my suspicions, and did something that I would have regretted had nothing of importance been found. But guess what? You're a ****ing cam***** and cannot be trusted."

Girl -

Guy - "We're done, deal with it."
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#34
Quote by cotyt15
there is no correlation between one's paranoia and the likelyhood of someone
they trust going behind their back to lie and do unscrupulous activities; in my experience, girls absolutely love to lie. and fock. so


i am


Metaphysics says that there is a correlation
(but well said).
Maybe if his paranoia wasn't so bad he wouldn't have stumbled on this piece of information in the first place. I guess i skipped the part about 'how to break up with her'.
#35
Quote by GODhimself37
Though that is a breach of privacy, it obviously paid off in his favor, and confirmed his suspicions. He took a risk of being the bad guy by doing it, but turned the tables and made her the bad guy. The last thing they will argue about is him hacking her account.
In all honesty,
Quote by captaincrunk
It's the only thing she'll want to talk about though. Bitches be tricksy.
that.

It will quickly devolve into one of those "I can't believe you didn't trust me" things.
#36
Quote by jetfuel495
In all honesty,that.

It will quickly devolve into one of those "I can't believe you didn't trust me" things.



Like I said, only a beta would allow that.

It should be an "I can't believe you are such a slut" type of thing.
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#37
Quote by guitarage
Shoot her and commit suicide, please

you wana fight about it hawmie? you tryinuh start sheet with me? i hope you better not be tryinuh start sheet with me haawmie

naaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh brreehhh just relax, and chill with the flowers maaannn. no one needs to die no, we all just need to live and feel and love and relax mmaaannnn
#38
Quote by GODhimself37
Like I said, only a beta would allow that.

It should be an "I can't believe you are such a slut" type of thing.

Anyone who uses "alpha" and "beta" should be shot like the beta pussies they are.
#40
Quote by hriday_hazarika
Never trust a woman who uses Hotmail.

[/experience]

Pretty much all of them.
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