I was looking through my old tabs and this was the first song I wrote for my band, tell me what you think cos to me we might play it in gigs. also the beginning part with the wide vibrato is supposed to be a clean guitar with a rotating speaker effect. Also C4C!
Hey bro,

Cool song. The first part creates an atmosphere that reminds me of the intro to Slayer's "South of Heaven", I like it. I also like the slight tempo change that comes in, starting to build the intensity... but then it levels off for a second before jumping into that stabbing power chord riff. Personally, I would use the drums and bass to go from that part right after the tempo change into aforementioned riff.

Riff itself is good, leaves some room for the bass or drums to come through. Not that it matters, but the bass is pretty low in the mix on this GP5 file, but after looking at it, it does follow the guitar and all, but there are definite spots where you can throw in little melodies to mix things up when you are repeating a guitar riff. Same goes for the chorus.

Overall, good, but the drums really make that kind of song... you should write some.

C4C? Links in sig.
Yeah I tabbed this off of a crappy recording we did of it so im still workin on the drums, but thanks for the comments/ideas. I'll crit yours as soon as I get to my own computer and can check out your stuff.
alright, finally some rock and no metalcore bullshit.

anyway, I'm not too fond of your overall note choice throughout the song. The verse and intr riffs for example almost sound like they are straight out of a textbook and that you just changed one or two notes here and there, trying to reveal that. However, the riff doesnt have all that much punch, nor is the chord progression all that special.

I'm trying to formulate why I don't like it, but I don't know, it just sounds bad to me. The B doesn't fit the mood of the song and it takes away the heavyness of the riff, and the first half of every 4th just... sounds bad. Get rif of it. This kind of stuff just doesn't work that way.

Same for having quints in the bass instead of oktaves, it also just sounds bad. I dont know about your experience in songwriting at all and I don't want to say im any better, but this really reminds me of stuff someone would do who just got into songwriting and doesn't know how to put a decent riff together.
it's difficult to analyse a songs structure and the role the different sections have without any drums, but everything after the verse doesn't really sound like hard rock to me, more like some heavy metal/viking metal and with just a few minor changes one could even call it core-ish.

I'm not saying that the chorus part is bad at all, but now I don't know what to make of this song,

Well I dont like the song at all but im trying tos tay as objective as possible. It just sounds rather bare to my ears, it needs to be polished and properly structured (with the drums). In fact, everybody can chug some notes and riffs together, but the rhythm section defines the flow of the song so it's kind of hard to say anything. It could even be that you write the drums in a way that most of my points are redundant after all.

You said it's an old song so what I suggest is that you ask yourself if you can do it better and improve it. I don't think that it would be all that good played live though.

I guess I sounded harsh again but as I said it's hard to crit something that's missing drums. It would be ncie if you could check out this piece in return and tell me what you think.

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