#1
Anyone have some funny farting stories? Tell us about a time biology got the best of you. Tell us how you ruined your first chance at sex, embarrassed yourself in class, or humiliated someone else with your gas!
#3
I would post an image, but it's not worth it apparently...
I like St. Anger. Ridicule me, daddy

Quote by ErikLensherr

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#4
My mates and I were practicing for a gig in a sun room in the height of summer.
We were in the groove of everything and this scent started to get stronger and stronger. Then we say our singer who was behind the fan with a shit eating grin on his face.
Then it was like a wave of poo stink hit us all. We had to bail from the room fast. Even made the drummer vomit from it.


Artedit: Man that was badly written
"Ladies and gents."

That concludes our tour of the toilets.
Last edited by Artema at Sep 28, 2011,
#7
Once my friends and i went to burger king at like 6 am after attending a rager, and one of my friends shook the whole bench with one of his farts, and the only other people in the place were a bunch of old guys reading the paper really quietly. So when he ripped ass all these old guys just stare at us for like 30 seconds. then he did it again. It was just really funny for some reason

Another time i crop dusted the vice principal for a good 5 seconds straight. ****in hate that guy...
I smoke like Rasta, got hair like pasta
I be sippin' on them shots then bustin' rhymes like Busta


Load up the bong, crank up the song, let the informa call 911
#8
I always fart embarrassingly when pooping.

Many laughs have been had when I'm in the restroom at school
#9
Quote by Twist of fate
I was at a sleepover and one of my friends tried to wake me up by slapping my ass so mid-sleep I turn around and blow one right in his face.

Then I farted, too.


#10
I farted in an elevator filled with old people and called safety because I saw no doorknobs around.
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#12
Quote by jetfuel495
I have never farted. Ever. That's how mods are chosen here.

I call shenanigans.
Quote by UntilISleep
You have excellent taste in literature, dear sir

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You have excellent taste in video games, good sir.

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You have terrible taste in signatures, idiotic sir.

kkoo
#13
This thread is golden, but still lets up the embarrassment from these stories.
#14
One time I farted. Nothing interesting happened.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#15
I tried to save my farts in a two liter when I was eleven. I don't know what I was planning to do with it but it would have been devastating.
#17
Quote by jetfuel495
Bye Collin
I didn't say how I farted.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#21
Quote by jetfuel495
You know the rules. Only those whose rectal cavities are pure can bear the burden of colored names.
But I didn't say how I farted!
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#24
Quote by jetfuel495
A fart is a fart, is it not?

Unless this is some kind of joke and you're waiting for me to ask how you farted.

How did you fart?
Out of my mouth.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#26
That was a lot of work to make the dumbest post I've ever made.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#31
Quote by dubstar92
Does that imply ass vomit and mouth shits?
And you eat shit and poop food?
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#33
Quote by Colgate Total
My ex-girlfriend put her finger in my ass and I came and started farting.


Reminds me of one of Louis CK's stand ups.
#35
Quote by Colgate Total
My ex-girlfriend put her finger in my ass and I came and started farting.
Stop ruining this thread about farting with your immaturity!
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#36
Quote by Colgate Total
My ex-girlfriend put her finger in my ass and I came and started farting.

I only farted once she pulled the finger out.
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...