#1
I'm a burning cadle in a dark room in winter
Sharing my warmth and light;
Why won't you share your warmth too?

The winter chill assaults the skin and senses,
Abuse lingers bitter on the tongue;
I know of the cold outside.

Rugged up you brace to face the tempest,
A foolish walk to make;
You said so yourself.

And so as you leave through the door the wind rushes in to blow me out.
I'm insignifigant. A smoking wick.

Until you stumble back in with tears frozen in your eyes,
You're pale, shaking, cold;
I promised myself I wouldn't be lit.

You struggle with the match and soon I am alight again,
Sharing my warmth, wrapped around you;
"He didn't deserve you anyway"

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This is the first piece I've actually been proud to submit for critique since Rain on Marble and Masonry I hope you guys like it.
Music is an art form that celebrates potential. So long as you're looking for it, you'll always find it.
#2
I tried to figure this all out the first time, and I had to reread it several times before fully getting it, but not in a bad way! The structure fits perfectly, I don't think anything needs moved or reordered. The tone fits the work, and the concept is just cool! Very nice!

My favorite part is the entire second stanza!