Hello ladies and gents.

I've been away for a long time so I'm going to repost the song I posted last time but in a more recent, completed form...

Last time I left this piece here I was unable to come back and check up on it so it is possible I owe some people some crits here, if this is the case just let me know and I will just crit any piece of yours you would like. I just busted my ankle though and now I'm stuck at home for a little while (No drumming =( ), so I'll have ample time to leave nice and juicy crits to anyone who wants them.

This song is, well, an experiment in tonal colors I had when fiddling around with my guitarist's 7 string at our jamspace. It finds itself moreso on the far left, "unusual" side of my musical spectrum, so don't expect a pure tech-death piece, but it is relatively fast-paced and aggressive. Rather complex piece, not easy listening by any means.

I would suggest headphones for this piece, since it is very busy.

C4C, enjoy, I hope .

*Edited - Made several small modifications, fixed some incongruities/guitar pro errors, slight mistake fixes - Modified jazz lead @ 170*

*Edit 3:41 PM Oc 18 2011 - Final update, added outro/Epilogue, minor mix changes*
Deranged Aesthetics.zip
Last edited by JazzDeath at Oct 18, 2011,
As always, you have great themes here, but some of the material is less cohesive than what you've written before. Sections like at 174, while its obviously supposed to be abstract, the coherent theme gets lost within the" wankier" chromatic lines. I would clean this section up, as the jazzy feel is great, its just too cluttered.

I absolutely love complex melodic lines and all the wonders of polyphony, and I almost dislike minimalist composing, but if other material is detrimental to the central idea of the section, it should be cleaned up.

The section at 190 follows the same, but I couldn't find too much of a discernable melody to follow, so I'll assume that section is strictly for the chaotic atmosphere. Which 174 may also be, but I think its too good of a theme to bury under all that.

Transition at 48-49 is a bit strange sounding, but some drum variation/build up on the slowdown might help alleviate this.

But anyway, Great work and I'm glad to see you're still composing.

C4C? They're both rather short pieces, and I'm still working on them.

Well thanks for the comment bro, although it's funny, what I dislike the most about bar 170 and on is the fact that I haven't been able to find a way to make the swing drum beat sound like it actually swings, or grooves, the cymbals sound retarded and it makes it sound jagged, and I find it ruins a lot of how its supposed to sound...

I also understand what you mean about that lack of focus particularly in that section, it is one of the things that bothers me the most about the current state of the piece, although I rather like the ending part (190) as a sort of unorthodox progression of that jazz influenced idea into a more classical influenced idea.

Do you have any suggestions as to what would make it sound more cohesive though? Perhaps it would be clearer if I split it into two tracks for each voice.
Reserving this space for an actual crit.

Suffice to say on first listen it was ****ing awesome. As usual.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
BTW, sorry about your ankle.

I hope you get well soon!

Try splitting the tracks, or take the bass notes from the lead track and place them onto the one of the guitars at that section, as they're both playing the same material.

I would just create another backing riff out of that and integrate it with the opposite guitar while the 1st track solos over it essentially. It should work because everything thats there is already being heard.
It has a really nifty psychotic baroque/flamenco feel throughout the song, which I would sya is due mostly to the nylon string guitar, which is an awesome idea. But they way the song seems to switch key or at least drastically change the major/minor feel of the song in the middle of measures is disconcerting. I know its intentional, but it just sounds a little too weird for my tastes.
Fair enough FrauVfromPoB, as stated it was very much an experiment in colors and tones, so yes it was intentional; Unfortunate that it was not to your tastes though, maybe next time.

And yeah Dylon I'll try splitting the tracks, I already made a few changes to the leads and the way they are written, and it sounds a bit better now... It's hard to find a good balance though =P
Quote by JazzDeath
Fair enough FrauVfromPoB, as stated it was very much an experiment in colors and tones, so yes it was intentional; Unfortunate that it was not to your tastes though, maybe next time.

And yeah Dylon I'll try splitting the tracks, I already made a few changes to the leads and the way they are written, and it sounds a bit better now... It's hard to find a good balance though =P

Yeah, it seems like it would be difficult. It usually is very difficult to rewrite a section almost entirely.

And its Dillon.
Wow! I thoroughly enjoyed this piece and I thought that it was perfectly listenable; despite its inherently chaotic and meticulous nature. Anyway, onto the crit:

Smoke...: I thought the augmented chord was unsettling at first but later decided I liked it. I love the little snippets of chromaticism here. There's some pretty crazy chordal work in the second half. Good luck to your guitarist.

As...: Love the crazy vibrato on the extended chords. Really nice atomsphere and very convincing in portraying that style. Chromaticism in bar 40 was perfect. I love those little ornamentations you use. I'm not sure about the snare 16th part at the start of each bar. I think it should stay as a straight beat but it's up to you.

Into...: This appeared to be your normal style until the staccato and Classical guitars came in and I was blown away. That transition was absolutely top notch. No change of pace or loss of atmopshere. Brilliant!

We...: Nice change of texture. Slap Bass was interesting. Transition was also stellar here.

Enraged...: I loved the Major chord at bar 74 but the microtonal bends took away from the atmosphere. The major 6th harmonies were also complimentary to the chordal tones previously established.

Wracked...: Nice work. Loved the b2nd harmonies. Good contrast to the previous harmonies which are often associated with romance.

This...: Same as before.

Morphed...: Same as before. I liked the sudden transition.

The...: I normally hate Djent but I liked this section as it perfectly represents the text. For once, a successful and sophisticated implementation of Djent-related chracteristics.

We...: This section is really tight. I love it.

Desperately...: Same as before.

The...: Same as before.

Like...: It is like glass. I think the Percussion should have started fading in a bar before in order to prevent anyone from feeling the song is too long by them accidentally thinking it's finished. Otherwise it's great.

A...: Nice subtle reprisal/incorporation/superimposition of the ornamentation of chromaticism from previous sections. Very impressive. I would also argue that the second half of bar 194 would be impossible to play for a Pianist. Unless you intend to use a Guitar Synth, I doubt it's playability.

Overall, I loved this piece. There is very little to critique and I find it very inspiring. I look forward to hearing a recording of this. Also, I ask you if you could see my reply to your response in my thread if you see this post before my thread. Thanks (And good luck maintaining this level of composition).
I agree with the drums, they were copy pasted and I'll modify those as I keep adding finishing polishes to the piece, thanks for that comment.

Also, well if it's impossible I'll change it, otherwise I'll try getting the pianist to develop some crazy technique to pull it off .

The microtonal bends were an issue of tablature which I now fixed, the third bend is supposed to be a continuation of the previous one and I forgot to set it properly so it sounded weird, thanks for pointing that out.

And yes, luck I might need. This piece was another headache one for me...
That was the most awesome thing I have ever heard. EVAR
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
dude you should really try and record this, like a professional thing, this is a gap in music that needs to be filled in my opinion ( i joined this forum just to say that)
I'd get all of your cds, your LEGIT at writing compostions!!! This is really much better than a lot of bands I listen to. The part around 3:44 Is my favorite part. You obviously served a lot of time writing this and tabbing it out, what an amazing song dude. It deserves to be recorded in a studio. As for changes, I wouldn't change anything because this is WAY beyond my capabilities in almost every way!
I thought mine was technical, haha not even though! C4c?
So critique time. Finally. As I listen.

Intro is good. A bit less crazy than I expected, but I like the oddly major shift that somehow keeps the atmosphere. Special mention to the section titles too, I love those.

Love how the section develops into the complicated fingerpicking stuff. 12/8 section is also one of the coolest ****ing things I've heard recently. Reminds me of The Chasm. Except a bit more progressive. The transitions are also marvelous.

First heavy riff is excellent. Love how it recalls the last riff too. And damn. The changes to and from classical guitar kinda just take it to another level.

since this changes rapidly I'll just say, I really really like how it develops on mostly similar themes/ideas, and yet they maintain their individuality too. Bass is awesome throughout, although I would say the slap is a bit much in places.

The chuggy section somehow manages to sound really fresh and not cliche or breakdowny at all, too. So kudos for that. Good stuff. "like glass" is ****ing incredible.

And the clean guitar solo is awesome. As is the piano. Crazy ****ing stuff. However, the transition into 180 needs a bit of work... It just comes a bit suddenly, and the fading in and out stuff is used a lot in your stuff. So I dunno.

Really though, that's kinda the only "flaw" I see. Feels a bit incomplete too, like you could take that last "like glass" section and develop it some more maybe.

And the drums are a bit less amazing, compared to usual.

Otherwise, excellent stuff.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
Well thank you for the free critique Burning_Angel. The drums are indeed toned down in this one but I really wanted to make it a piece about tonal colors and not so much focus on the drums, so the drums solely serve to emphasize all the punches and dynamics I want the listener to focus on, feel, and hear; that being said I've made several little touchups to the drums since the first submission since a few things were either copy-paste or a bit iffy (swing feel in GP = fail)

I'll consider reworking the transition into 180, those two ending ideas/solo riffs are receiving a lot of attention from me and I really want to polish them better, so thanks for that input.

As for the incompletion this is definitely going to crossfade into another song; yes I do abuse fade-ins and out's, but I love em and in this one I feel like it's portrayed in a different manner, so I'll keep that "flaw" as a personal weakness

Thanks again.
This is one of your craziests songs that makes me feel like im in death metal opera. 10/10 haven't got much time to critizise.
I felt the intro was a little busy, but that's what you were going for, I'm guessing. After that, bar 52 made me go "DAMN SON!".

I really dug around bar 62, the chromatics were tastefully done, which is great, because I usually hate chromatics.

"Enraged..." and thereabout was definitely a foot-tapper haha.

The tempo change into the 3/4 was great, as was the solo, but I feel it could have been shorter. If you like those long solo/bridge/breaks though, it fits. There were a few parts that I think went on a few too many beats and messed the rhythm a bit.

Around 173 was a little too wanky to be a reoccurring lick for me.

174: If you were going for chaotic, you nailed it, haha. Take that as you wish.

The epitaph was good, but I think the bass is too busy, and kinda ruins the slowdown for me.
And you didn't resolve your last chord!

Overall, very good composition, although I feel it's busy for the sake of being busy.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1488798
Sigs are for pansies.
Well, not much to say here. Loved the clean parts, the heavier parts were less to my taste but still very good. Very good themes there and the way you kinda mix em up makes it interesting throughout the whole song.
That djent part in the middle was really good, and I don't even like djent. The clean solo thing after that was great, you are amazing at writing clean stuff.
The bass in the epilogue was very nice.

Um... that's it. Good stuff