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Join date: Oct 2010
729 IQ
Hello folks, this is a new song i've been working on the last weeks. Im pretty pleased with how it turned out, but i would appreciate your opinions on what i could change. I've recorded the about the first 2 minutes of the song already and i will record and upload the whole song as soon as possible (its sounds a lot better than the guitar pro version).


Edit: I forget to remove the riffs at 240-279, they are not supposed to be in the song lol
Last edited by tottsk1 at Oct 7, 2011,
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Join date: Jun 2009
2,202 IQ
Thanks for the crit, reviewing as I listen.

Intro is nice. It definitely needs drums though. Just something simple and laid back, but it needs to have some drums there; it sounds too naked without them. The guitar that joins in makes it better, but it just needs more in the very beginning. Maybe if you're fading it in it could work without drums? Intro definitely picks up when the rest of the band enters, though.

Riff right after there is pretty neat, pretty typical for this genre, but it works. I'd suggest not having the two guitars play the same octave chord, though. Either harmonize it or have one play the bottom powerchord.

The little break transitions nicely between the two sections, I like it.

The next section is my favorite, it's catchy and the chords and everything fit together well! I love it, haha.

Breakdown was really good as well. Sounded a lot like August Burns Red to me. I don't care for the two pinch harmonics that the guitars play at the end of the one measure; they don't sound well together.

The riff following the breakdown I also didn't care for. I didn't think it really bridged the two sections together well enough.

The 9/8 riff was pretty neat, but it just felt a little out of place. I liked it, but I'd definitely adjust the section before it to get it to flow better. I'd also love to hear those taps harmonized. That would be awesome!

To bridge the next section, I'd hold out a note on the one guitar, and add some ambient synth to it. That's just a person suggestion though.

The end breakdown is heavy. I like it.

Pretty good song. I'd listen to it when it's recorded. Work on those transitions and it'll be great!
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Join date: Feb 2009
974 IQ
At least you tried to do something sorta different from the average metalcore work. I mean, there's still nothing too terribly groundbreaking, but it's not as bad as some other offenders. The big problem with this is that it's soooooo repetitive. The '5-1' change must have happened at least 40 times through the whole thing.

129 made me think of 'gonads and strife.'

Other than that, it was pretty meh. Don't feel obligated to C4C, I'm not actively looking for crits right now, but if you get the time, feel free to check out anything in my sig.
Last edited by guitar_jew at Oct 7, 2011,