#1
Bloodline from the ocean
Cold,
but most beautiful of
aestetic motion

To the sunshine outside
Fiery,
but she's frozen
Followed by the tide

One day we align
and find
each other
above the great mother

Bodies meet midway
in fire sprays
a unison
collision

///

It's simply a poem about the love between Venus and Mars who one day finds each other.
Iow: its a poem about the warm feeling you get by hugging someone you truly love.

Here's a picture that I painted to illustrate the poem: http://oakwork.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/vjm-jpg-web.jpg
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#2
i like this alot except for the word bloodline at the begining. i cant exactly tell you why it just kind of distracts me...

i understand its a referance to venus but perhaps a synonym would make it sound better
#4
Why i am I just know reading stuff by you?...it is good....

I must go and search for more of your stuff....
I haz gotten gud
#5
Thanks, and thanks again!

I wrote it over a year ago, in swedish, but I tried to translate it to english this morning and it turned out equally as good as the original I think. But it lacks of references that the original have though.

I have loads of poems and lyrics to post (even though many are in swedish), but unfortunately UG's rules wont let me. Which is good also, we wouldn't like people to spam here now would we?

On the "bloodline"-thing... I just couldn't think of anything better, but other suggestions are ofcourse welcome, there might be a way of saying it that I didn't think of.
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#7
But that would sound like I refer directly to Venus. I know that I wrote that it was about Venus... but it's also a girl that represents Venus and I'm trying to say that she is blood related to the ancient roman godess of beauty, because she reminds me of Venus in the painting "The birth of Venus" by Botticelli. I will try to figure out another word for the first line... but I still think that "bloodline" is the best word yet.

It's hard to combine multiple stories into one
The one about two gods love for each other.
One about two planets colliding into Earth.
And lastly the real story about me meeting my girlfriend which the whole poem is based on (a specific moment).
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#9
I refer to one specific beauty, even though it isn't revealed until the second paragraph. So yea, the first line for it self may refer to any(or all) female beauty.
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