touke
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2011
1,834 IQ
#1
I know, I know I sometimes can't stand listening to a MIDI file, but really I'm psyched about this song! If you just crit how it sounds, I definitely get you back!

Notes:
1:54 - 2:10 is GOING to be a solo, just I haven't figured out what to to yet.

I didn't bother with using the palm mute/pitch harmonic/vibrato effects, to me it just sounds dumb. But I panned the guitars how there going to be when I record it
Attachments:
3.mid
sulphursoul
Registered User
Join date: May 2009
111 IQ
#2
After a first quick listen, all I can say with my limited experience of 5 years of playing guitar and being an avid fan of everything technical, is that I'm thoroughly impressed. I have just one gripe; the section starting at 2:40 does seem a little empty, even though a lead/melody comes in and adds to it, it feels like you could spiced it up a little more, unless it functions as a bridge and there'll be vocals, of course.

But overall I was positively surprised by how melodic it was without being cheesy, very Anata-esque. The way both of the guitar lines add to one another is quite impressive, especially in the intro; the main riff sounds brilliant and very focused, interesting melody there as well. The different sections do work well together and the song has great flow, it's good to see that you've taken the time to work on transitions. Great stuff.
touke
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2011
1,834 IQ
#3
Quote by sulphursoul
After a first quick listen, all I can say with my limited experience of 5 years of playing guitar and being an avid fan of everything technical, is that I'm thoroughly impressed. I have just one gripe; the section starting at 2:40 does seem a little empty, even though a lead/melody comes in and adds to it, it feels like you could spiced it up a little more, unless it functions as a bridge and there'll be vocals, of course.

But overall I was positively surprised by how melodic it was without being cheesy, very Anata-esque. The way both of the guitar lines add to one another is quite impressive, especially in the intro; the main riff sounds brilliant and very focused, interesting melody there as well. The different sections do work well together and the song has great flow, it's good to see that you've taken the time to work on transitions. Great stuff.


Funny you should mention Anata, was deeply influenced by them for this one. I don't want to sound like I'm ripping them off, that was the biggest problem writing this but I think it has my own original sound (for the most part )
Yeah transitions are very important, don't want to sound too forced.
The part at 2:40 just felt right in it's place, but I agree it is a bit too empty. Don't know what to really do with that. Anyway glad you like this, and thanks for your crit
KirkChicoHammet
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2011
177 IQ
#4
Thanks for commenting in my thread

Now, for the song -

I really liked the intro, with the guitar complementing one another, this is how I try to work in some of my songs, but I'm only one guitarist

The main riff is great , a little repetitive, but if there will be vocals, then it doesn't really matter, and you and you blended the parts with each other, this is cool, it means you care with the composition, and don't go around throwing riffs around and say it's a song, a lot of metal bands do that...

Also, the section that begins at 2:40 would be really great with the right vocals, seriously, don't waste that riff

Nothing really bad to say, it's a great song, when you record it I would like to give it a listen
touke
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2011
1,834 IQ
#6
KirkChicoHammet, Thanks for the crit! I wanted to have just one repetitive riff in there, just in case I ever find a vocalist. Really appreciate what you said bout my composition!

Cavalcade - Thanks
RedDeath9
UG's Nu/Shyguy
Join date: Aug 2006
3,129 IQ
#7
Cool song. Well-written. I just wanted to say that the verse riff at 0:47 reminds me of The Great Juggler by Anata.
Last edited by RedDeath9 at Oct 10, 2011,
touke
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2011
1,834 IQ
#8
Quote by RedDeath9
Cool song. Well-written. I just wanted to say that the verse riff at 0:47 reminds me of The Great Juggler by Anata.


Really?
RedDeath9
UG's Nu/Shyguy
Join date: Aug 2006
3,129 IQ
#9
Quote by touke
Really?


Really as in,

"Really, it does remind you of it?"

or really as in,

"Really? You really found it necessary to say just that? You really needed to say that my song sounded like Anata when it had already been established from the first post?"

Anyways, it was 0:37 riff of The Great Juggler, yeah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIqPbZ20EXI
touke
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2011
1,834 IQ
#10
the first choice XD.

Love that song. Love that riff. Love all of Anata's riffs from The Conductor's Departure. Cool that it reminds you guys of Anata, I hope it's in the good way and not the "awww this guy's ripping off Anata!" way!
JazzDeath
Oracle of the Absurd
Join date: Aug 2008
2,037 IQ
#11
Definitely sounds very very much like anata, I won't disagree on that one it does differ in one way, it's a bit less focused on tonal colors than Anata is, where Anata always sounds like, well, Anata, this does sound like it borrows from a different tonal palette from time to time, for good and for worse depending on where in the song.

I definitely love the first riff, really cool interplay between doing counter-melodies, harmonies, unisons, and a switch between moods such as major and minor within the same riff, it's a cool feeling which I rarely hear in metal songwriters and I always enjoy people who do things differently.

I like the beggining of the transition at 0:34 (the let rings) but I find the rest of the transition sounds a bit boring.

The next riff is that type of, I guess chromatic Anata type of thing, I don't love it but I don't hate it. I do think the idea of chromaticism is interesting, I just think it could be exploited better.

Your solo riff is badass btw, very good riff for a solo, it's simple enough to hold a very creative solo yet has enough color variety to make it stand out and be interesting, I like that balance between what everyone expects to work and innovation, not always easy to balance and here it's well done.

The post solo riff is a bit boring, with the dissonant chords, the lead makes it a bit better, but not always... I like the idea of a build up a lot, I just think it could be better, more colored, with better choices within it. That being said as a structural idea it's great, and the structure of the song is very very solid, so I think this piece has a lot of potential.

Good stuff man, I like it. I hope you don't take my criticism too harshly, I like to nitpick a lot . And I'm glad you enjoyed my piece, thanks for listening!
Scowmoo
Fancykipz!
Join date: Sep 2008
2,176 IQ
#13
EDIT: My windows media player won't open this. >:c
I would listen to it if I could find a damn way to open it >


Quote by Saint78
Jackal is like 90.

Quote by Jackal58
Buy stock in Viagra. Imma gonna fuck you in the ass.
touke
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2011
1,834 IQ
#14
JazzDeath, I appreciate your crit it means a lot. The song is still being revised, and I've changed up some of the riffs/transitions to my liking to try and spice it up.

I recorded the song as a very Rough draft, and can be found at this thread:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=28309698#post28309698

Life Is Brutal and Scowmoo - I guess if you want, just check out the rough draft as I don't know how to use GP
Last edited by touke at Oct 11, 2011,