#1
What do you think about my lyrics (deathcore/post/metalcore)?
i have a deathcore/post/metalcore band and we started writing original stuff so this is my first lyrics.
please tell me what do you think, what should i improve, what you if you like/dont like/want to cook a potato for the song.
the song i kinda about a serial killer.

Verse 1: (Screaming)

you dont know what i felt!
looking right in your eyes
washing blood of your face
looking what i have done.
you know it wasn't easy
but i want it so bad
where have you been when the morning came

what have i done?
have i lost my ****** mind?
should i spread the gospel or cover the clues?!

chorus: (clean singing)

your blood is flowing slowly
as i dance on the murder scene
where will i be when the cops will come
THE COPS WILL COME!

Verse 2: (Sang fast with screaming vocals)

what i'm gonna do when the find about the clue that concludes all my mistakes.
i'm blessed with a curse and as clear as it gets i will be under surveillance
EVERY SECOND, EVERY HOUR, EVERY DAY.

(all the band shouts, example: asking alexandria - not the american average (after the clean chorus):
HOLY ****!
OH (only the vocals)

Chorus:

your blood is flowing slowly
as i dance on the murder scene
where will i be when the cops will come
THE COPS WILL COME!

Verse 3:

and whenever i look at the mirror
i think i see you standing behind me
holding the knife that was once in your neck
and stoke it all over my back!

GOOD BYE!
#5
yeah usually i don't do grammar mistakes, i dont know what happend.
I'm from israel so english isn't my native language
#6
honest opinion? its a load of rubbish. nothing interesting, original or enjoyable. sit down and listen to some happy music for a change. you have no interest in murder really, so why write about it?
#7
actually i do listen to "happy music", i listen to everything: jazz, reggae, pop, rock (all sub genres), blues, techno, electro, folk, bossa nova, metal (and all sub genres) and much more so don't say stuff you don't know about me.
a lot of people write about subjects they have nothing to do with,
Example: james hetfield wrote the song "one" by metallica, he has nothing to do with politics but he wrote about it anyway.