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#1
One time I was playing football, and one of the guys on the other team scored a goal, so I took my shoe and I threw it at him really hard to the head.

What about you?
Quote by tattyreagh
He's the hero The Pit deserves but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. GbAdimDb5m7.


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#3
posted ready meals upside down through peoples letter boxes.

If you're reading this I'm sorry about all the lasagne.
#4
inb4 shot a man in Reno
Said the straight man to the late man: "where have you been?"

"I've been here and, I've been there and, I've been in between."
#5
Nothing major. Stole someone's lunch money maybe.

EDIT: Or maybe that time I killed someone's family to teach him a lesson.
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#6


Damn, that's quite a way of dealing with defeat.


Worst thing I've done...I made a girl cry one time because I called her ugly, under the pretense that we were both belittling each other as jokes.

I learned that no matter what, you're just not allowed to do that without hurting feelings.
#8
I broke a kid's shoulder playing hockey.
Ball Custom Mark I

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#10
I shit on some guys couch.
Pissed all over my ex room mates toothbrush.
Strangled my friends hamster.
Called someone out for being gay in an assembly/ pep rally.
Watched friends dog get hit by a car and lied about it.

I could go forever...
Last edited by DimebagZappa at Oct 12, 2011,
#11
I dunno quite, but 2 of my friends just walked out of my life within an hour of each other


So whatever that was I guess


Though I do remember one time playing football in school, and this one kid kept sliding and hacking my legs out which was getting on my tits. Toward the end of the game he got taken down and the ball stopped right in front of his face on the floor, so I made a pretense of going in to chip it over him and toward the goal, but in fact wellied it full power into his face.
Felt bad. He only had a nose bleed though.
#12
I posted this before somewhere but here goes again.

Needs a bit of a setup:

Last year one of my flatmates was weird as shit, which would have been ok but he was also a dickhead to us. And we discovered he literally ate food out of the bin. He hoarded mouldy bread, scones, cheese etc and ate stuff that was sometimes months out of date.

So, myself and two of my other flatmates took a lemoncake that had gone off about 3 months ago and cut it in half. Myself and one of the others each took the slice to our rooms and masturbated onto it. We stuck the halves together with honey and put it in the bin.

The next morning the cake was gone.


Although to be honest I don't think this is a particularly 'bad' thing to do, all I did was jizz on a cake and throw it away. If he eats shit out of the communal bin he runs that risk.
#14
Quote by Random3

all I did was jizz on a cake and throw it away. If he eats shit out of the communal bin he runs that risk.



You're a genius.
#15
told a guy he could go **** his (very recently) deceased grandmother. He had given me years of crap prior to this.
"If you want beef, then bring the ruckus." - Marilyn Monroe
Last edited by USCENDONE BENE at Oct 12, 2011,
#16
I persuaded my friend to put what was left of her chips & curry in a postbox.
You cannot choose the little time you're given in this world. You enter bare and unclothed, provided only with intelligence enough to choose how you spend your time. You always have a choice. Always. Though be warned, your choice can rarely be undone
#17
Quote by DimebagZappa
I shit on some guys couch.
Pissed all over my ex room mates toothbrush.
Strangled my friends hamster.
Called someone out for being gay in an assembly/ pep rally.
Watched friends dog get hit by a car and lied about it.

I could go forever...




Fuck man, you're a douchebag.
#18
Quote by TextOnTheScreen

You're a genius.


Thankyou, thankyou.


Also this wasn't something I was involved with at all, but one of my friends had a party and some guy passed out on his sofa and chucked up. So as revenge, he made a cigarette out of pubic hair and the guy smoked it without realising.
Last edited by Random3 at Oct 12, 2011,
#21
I've been a bit of an asshole a few times, but I can't really think of anything that was particularly bad.
______________________________________________________________________
Last edited by Gyroscope : Tomorrow at 01:00 PM.
#22
I slapped a poor kid with my wallet filled with cash in his face.

I lold.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#23
I once made this fat girl cry because she was being a total bitch to me and a few friends of mine. I was art class and sitting with like 4 lady friends of mine, and this girl would sit at our table and would say rude things about our drawings because she was really good at it and we all sucked. Then one day we were all talking and one of the girls said something like "This class is so much harder than I thought it would be, I signed up for this to be an easy GPA booster. Then the fat girl bursts in and starts insulting us all and saying we're just not intelligent enough to understand it and blah blah blah. So I told her to calm the **** down and go eat a twinkie.
She got mad and threw her paint palette at me then ran out crying.
After that she was never a bitch to me again.

I'm sure I've done worse things, but that came to mind first.


EDIT: I thought of a few worse things I've done.
My friend and I once called a hooker to this kid who we hated's house. Then we hid in the bushes across from his house until the hooker arrived. She was insanely pissed when the kid told her he hadn't called her. She like bitched at him for a good 10 minutes

Then to another kid we didn't like we stuck oreos on his windsheild in the school parking lot.

Then another time we made a dry ice bomb from a 2L bottle and put it in some guys car.
We also put dry ice bombs in peoples mailboxes.
Also made a Works bomb and put it in a car.

And then theres always lighting bags of dogshit on peoples doorsteps at 3a.m.
I smoke like Rasta, got hair like pasta
I be sippin' on them shots then bustin' rhymes like Busta


Load up the bong, crank up the song, let the informa call 911
Last edited by vanhailin at Oct 12, 2011,
#24
I was real pissed one morning at school. English class ended and I was on my way to French. I hate French.

Anywho there were these girls who were chatting it up in front of the door. A really fat one was just blocking the entire entrance and I had to leave. So without thinking I snapped at her "Move your tranny ass, you fatass bitch!". She cried quite a bit.

I feel real bad about it.
ggg1 ggg3

.
#25
Quote by Nelsean
I slapped a poor kid with my wallet filled with cash in his face.

I lold.


You cannot choose the little time you're given in this world. You enter bare and unclothed, provided only with intelligence enough to choose how you spend your time. You always have a choice. Always. Though be warned, your choice can rarely be undone
#26
was an ass hole to my Ex for the 2 months after we broke up.... its all alright now though because I said sorry and we are now best friends but I still regret it =/
Quote by Metalmarathon
The concept of self-fulfilling prophecies never seem to occur to the ones that always create them.


Attic Green
My Band
#28
I sentenced my love to 10,000 years in hell as punishment for not taking the next step in our relationship.

#29
Quote by Random3
Although to be honest I don't think this is a particularly 'bad' thing to do, all I did was jizz on a cake and throw it away. If he eats shit out of the communal bin he runs that risk.


Haha, I just had to sig that, that was too funny! Serves the freak right!
Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

Did you hear the one about the boy with the short atten
#30
Quote by blake1221


Fuck man, you're a douchebag.



Was a douchebag. Ive seen the err of my ways.

I banged my best friends gf at his halloween party in his room.
Stole $5000 from my friends dad (for her). Turns out it was her college fund.
#31
During the winter, when I was in Minnesota for a year, when snow was everywhere. I wrote "Crack House." On my asshole neighbors lawn in lime juice, killed his grass exactly where i poured the lime juice. He then had to explain to all the other neighbors that he doesn't sell crack.
#32
Was this after or before you had seen the err of your ways? Because that's not really helping your case.
#35
Quote by blake1221
Was this after or before you had seen the err of your ways? Because that's not really helping your case.


Hahaha well before. I keep pretty kosher nowadays.
#37
Quote by vanhailin
I once made this fat girl cry because she was being a total bitch to me and a few friends of mine. I was art class and sitting with like 4 lady friends of mine, and this girl would sit at our table and would say rude things about our drawings because she was really good at it and we all sucked. Then one day we were all talking and one of the girls said something like "This class is so much harder than I thought it would be, I signed up for this to be an easy GPA booster. Then the fat girl bursts in and starts insulting us all and saying we're just not intelligent enough to understand it and blah blah blah. So I told her to calm the **** down and go eat a twinkie.
She got mad and threw her paint palette at me then ran out crying.
At she was never a bitch to me again.


Serves her right
ggg1 ggg3

.
#38
i almost got a retarded girl to eat dog poop, i told her it was pudding. but that was 3rd grade.
IT'S OVER 9000!!!!
#39
I also put cat food in a guys mouth when he was sleeping. He woke up and spat it out everywhere, but I didn't have to clean it up.
#40
My friend and I got drunk and decided to take a piss on his ex's front door.

Made a girl feel like absolute shit just for flirting with me (to be fair, I was at a horrible mood at the time).

Punched out my dad. This was not unjustified, but no one should get beat up by his own kid. Oh and I once told him to fuck off when he called me from inside jail.

Got drunk everyday for a week just to piss off my mom, she's a huge homophobe and it got me really depressed.

Sold some 14 year old less than 2 shots of tequila for 80 Dirhams (that's about 30 - 35 USD). It was the last bit of money he had and people told me that he slept on a park bench outside the house where there was a party going on because he didn't have enough cash to get home. I didn't know though.

Yes, I'm an asshole.
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