New song I wrote yesterday, C4C and please enjoy!

My reflections staring back at me
Everyone I’ve wronged a mirror
A conduit for my frustration
A quiet corner for contemplation
Has alluded me for so long
My responsibilities are lacking
My ventures lost their backing
This desert mind has left me
With a mirage I don’t want to leave

Let me paint you a picture of pain
Let me sell you the keys to this dreadful cage
I’ve locked myself inside it before
But never when I’ve known what’s in store

Let me tell you how this came to pass
Let me tell you how everything I knew
Ran away when I came back
If I paint you a picture
Will the clock turn back?

I could live without the fantasies
That play back in my mind
The ones where I never took it so far
That I ran out of time
But I’ll never get over this
They’ll never forget me
I’ll always live with
Everything they never got to see



It’s losing everyone you know
It’s because they can never let go
To a past they shouldn’t be living in
When everything’s moving ahead
I’m not compromising myself
By pretending my ambitions can play dead
My hand will forever be extended
My doors always open
For anyone who wants to join me
We’re forever moving ahead

Thanks for reading!
Too lazy to come up with a clever or relevant sig.
Last edited by PCADriven at Oct 12, 2011,
Pain  [peyn]
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: physical suffering
Synonyms: ache, affliction, agony, burn, catch, convulsion, cramp, crick, discomfort, distress, fever, gripe, hurt, illness, injury, irritation, laceration, malady, misery, pang, paroxysm, prick, sickness, smarting, soreness, spasm, sting, stitch, strain, tenderness, throb, throe, tingle, torment, torture, trouble, twinge, wound

just a few ideas about how to fix the most bland and uninteresting part of this otherwise well written song.
good job anyway
Last edited by Dillon_Kennedy at Oct 13, 2011,
This is some damn good stuff, bro!

I honestly wouldn't change a thing.

Here's one of my songs if you'd like to check it out

-Gibson Les Paul Custom Shop Silverburst (Invader/'59)
-Ovation ApplauseAE44II Elite Black Acoustic

-Peavey 6505+ Head
Orange PPC2x12 Cab Black
-Behringer Ultracoustic ACX450 1x8 Acoustic Combo

Wayyyyy too many effects pedals...
Thanks for the critiques guys! MusicMan I'll crit yours tonight.
Too lazy to come up with a clever or relevant sig.