#2
Your hook is great. Nice pop melody right. Some of the lyrics need a re-write I think

The opening line, I'm having trouble making it out but is it?

Another morning caught between
missing you and the sleep?
I will never walk away.

I think something a little personal would open this up.

"Another morning caught between us
I'm missing you between the sheets.
I will never walk away."

Something like this will focus the song a little harder. Lyrics the v1 becomes more about longing for someone, and you don't want to give up.

This will focus the hook a little harder.

Something like.

Do you find it?
Did you get what you need?
Can the memories come back?
etc.

It become a little more about "asking them if what they walk away from was worth it."
Which I'm sure you can relate to. I know I can.

This gives you some room to grow through the 2nd verse.


I don't want to tell you what to do. But I think this has alot of potential, just trying to help out as much as possible.

Cheers
#3
Good melody. I agree with the lyrics part. I would of made the verse quieter and harmonized, and then the chorus louder and more powerful. It would of worked better that way, in my opinion. Nice little solo. CUTS OFF WAY TOO SOON, darn, I was looking forward to more. Come on guys, write another verse, make a second more powerful chorus, and add something else in, you have a lot of ideas for a potentially great song and when you cut it off that soon it feels half-assed. I loved it, just expand on it. Other than that, some of the harmonized parts were a little shifty, and I believe the verse over powers the chorus at this point. C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1487906
#4
i like the way you change the melody from the v to the chorus. i find it easier to change the lyrics like the others have mentioned, rather than having to come up with a new melody. of course, recording it on the pc cam doesn't help, in a studio could help clean up the vox alot. keep it up!
Pain is temporary. Stupid is forever. - Some really friggin' smart dead dude