#1
C4C

And father I've done wrong
Cause I've been singin' all these songs
Cause there are words that I can't speak at night, so soft

So I've been righting wrongs
I find no comfort in the psalms
And my hands shake and I've grown awfully tall and strong

And father I'm still shy
But I'm overcoming that with time
Because I know you'd think it's foolish, I'll swallow my pride

And I lose sleep sometimes
'Cause demons creep into my mind
And all my friends well they are dead or they are dying

Oh, I caught fire
And my appendages shake with desire
And I'm afraid that she's afraid, sometimes I cry
Is that okay, do you think I'm man enough to try

And I feel weak sometimes
With a mighty little scream I fight
But I'm never alone cause I know you're right there at my side

So give me string this time
I need your light to truly shine
Cause it's been so dark and you know I get so scared at night

But daddy I'll be fine
I met this girl I know you'd like
She's so damn strong, she's in my head, she's in my songs

With a mighty little scream I fought
Off all those demons that I've been dreaming of
And if I'm still dreamin' then I'm still thinkin' of
Oh father please, I hope you see what I've become
#2
i couldnt help but think of mumford and sons the whole way through this. maybe its cuz i just got back from a bluegrass-in-the-park-thing, or perhaps its what you were going for. anyway good job! i like this...
...except for all the ands
Last edited by Dillon_Kennedy at Oct 15, 2011,
#3
Observe! This is good songwriting. Consistent in story and structure, surely in a minor key

So I've been righting wrongs
I find no comfort in the psalms
And my hands shake and I've grown awfully tall and strong

Truthfully I'm not much for the second line, but it sings dark country to me, and for what follows I respect it greatly: finding that you have strength but not knowing what to do with it, and not bearing the same ability as others to "put their strength into the lord" - which is not necessarily a good or a bad thing, but simply how it is.

The narrator seems to have followed an expectation - of his Father (of one sort or another) - and even gone so far as seeking approval for love, diminishing his own image for that of the father (mighty little, oh father please), and reached that, according to himself. maybe he's ready to break out on his own, but maybe he needs permission. approval. but what does that blessing count toward? further expectation? "now, son, go do this. and this. and this" Subservience reigns here, and I feel sorrow for the girl for whom he writes.

It is a really, really good song though. Would love to hear it, if you've got it to music.