Shaharz
DAH KEWL GUY
Join date: Jan 2007
921 IQ
#1
Well, I was taking a shower and then and idea popped in my head, so I wrote it.

My question is this: Does anyone else find this actually pretty nice and not crappy at all?


I'll C4C if you give me a link since I have nothing better to do, even though I'm not really asking for a serious crit here
Attachments:
halftone.gp5
FrauVfromPoB
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2010
662 IQ
#2
When that first riff is being played a half step apart at the same time, that sounds pretty bad. But the beginning, when its played once, then moved down half a step and played again, that sounds fine. Typical death metal style riffing. Measure 15, however, actually sounded really cool and unique. Definitely work with that part.

If you're up for c4c, this thread got 130 views but not a single reply, and really I want to know what people think: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1486062
Basti95
actual size
Join date: Sep 2010
2,212 IQ
#3
Doing some tweaks on it if you don't mind Think of it as a C4C!
btw it has potential, srsly
Shaharz
DAH KEWL GUY
Join date: Jan 2007
921 IQ
#4
Quote by FrauVfromPoB
When that first riff is being played a half step apart at the same time, that sounds pretty bad.


I actually like that part for some reason.
The dissonance between the muted E and D# is pretty cool
Last edited by Shaharz at Oct 15, 2011,
Basti95
actual size
Join date: Sep 2010
2,212 IQ
#5
I've been tinkering around with it for a bit, i just think you should slow it down to about 120bpm, put some bass in there (i don't know what direction you're heading so anything from a funky primus style to a slow & creepy melody) and a good hammering percussion - let it build up from bar 5, break down at bar 8 (maybe change it to 4/4) and kick off after that.

And most importantly, let the freakiness perspire mercilessly!
Shaharz
DAH KEWL GUY
Join date: Jan 2007
921 IQ
#6
Quote by Basti95
I've been tinkering around with it for a bit, i just think you should slow it down to about 120bpm, put some bass in there (i don't know what direction you're heading so anything from a funky primus style to a slow & creepy melody) and a good hammering percussion - let it build up from bar 5, break down at bar 8 (maybe change it to 4/4) and kick off after that.

And most importantly, let the freakiness perspire mercilessly!


Oh come on, I thought you're going to do that for me and upload a GP file.
Dissapointed
Basti95
actual size
Join date: Sep 2010
2,212 IQ
#7
Ah, well... i'm not much of a composer you know, i've got it saved in the meanwhile so i might finish and fling it your way tomorrow
FrauVfromPoB
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2010
662 IQ
#8
Quote by Shaharz
I actually like that part for some reason.
The dissonance between the muted E and D# is pretty cool


The muted dissonance doesn't sound that bad. But when the pedal notes stop and the melody parts ring out, that's when it sounds bad.
Shaharz
DAH KEWL GUY
Join date: Jan 2007
921 IQ
#9
Quote by FrauVfromPoB
The muted dissonance doesn't sound that bad. But when the pedal notes stop and the melody parts ring out, that's when it sounds bad.


Maybe, but I think it can grow on you :P

Got another question: Bass. WTF do I do with the bass when my guitars are half a step apart?
FrauVfromPoB
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2010
662 IQ
#11
Quote by Shaharz
Maybe, but I think it can grow on you :P

Got another question: Bass. WTF do I do with the bass when my guitars are half a step apart?


Two basses. Doing the same thing the guitars are doing. Go hard or go home

EDIT:
Quote by Basti95

Uhm...here's what i got...


Wow, maybe all it needed was to be fleshed out a little. Honestly, the dissonance sounds so much better when there's other stuff going on behind it like this. The drums and bass are actually pretty good, I think, and they improve the song overall. It suddenly kind of reminds me of the band Ceremony.
Last edited by FrauVfromPoB at Oct 17, 2011,
Basti95
actual size
Join date: Sep 2010
2,212 IQ
#12
Oh cool, a non-negative response wow, so not expected
JazzDeath
Oracle of the Absurd
Join date: Aug 2008
2,037 IQ
#14
I like the first riff but it's hard to get a good idea of what it may sound like with full orchestration.

The idea of having one guitar in E flat and the other in E is pretty bad in my opinion because it's just not really practical, you might as well tune them both in E flat and just transpose it unless you absolutely, absolutely need the 24th fret of the treble E string for a solo...

Not sure I like the measure in 3/4 man it's somewhat unnecessary and adds even more confusion to the 2nd harmony which comes after... which I'm not sure whether I like or not. It's relatively weird and dissonant, which by itself is not an idea I dislike but the reason for it is questionable.

Also bar 13 14 sounds pretty bad... I like the riff that comes afterwars the most at bar 15, that's cool stuff.

I dunno, a lot of useless dissonance I find, like it seems purposeless, good base ideas which lack focus in the end. It needs drums bass and a backing line for me to really judge whether it's worth continuing or not... that's my opinion though.

If you want to C4C check Deranged Aesthetics

I won't mind if you don't though, this wasn't much of a crit =P
Radman_Paiza
^__^ KAWAII DESU-NE~~
Join date: Nov 2009
313 IQ
#15
The "dissonance trick" is used to create some sort of tension. To have that theme throughout the entire song...

I think you should try other instruments. Make an orchestral out of this instead. Maybe lower the volume on one of the guitars?

15-18, great riff. Keep this no matter what. Maybe tweak the main riff a little?

You have a good idea going on here, but I don't know if it matches the instruments you're using. Good luck anyway!