#1
Hi

Could you good people give me some opinions ofmy new song?

I need another verse to complicit but it's getting there:


Verse

The sun is high and the sky is blue,
Heaven would wait for a girl like you
Dark was the night till I saw your face
I'm gonna sing my song to you everyday

Bridge

Please don't cry
I'll chase the stars from the sky
The morning sun
Is gonna shine on and on

Need another verse

Bridge

Close your eyes*
Watch the pictures in the dark
Relax your mind
Let the worlds drift apart


Chorus

Let the Night lay you down x 4


Outro

I'm hoping from the start, that I can win your heart
#2
Lyrical topic is similar to a lot of material out there however the actual lyrics aren't too cliche as the genre itself generally is. Sadly every line rhymes in some form, bad habit in my opininon, I'm not a fan of that type of song structure as it generally gets repetitive. Also work on something other than the 'four line lyric style' Try and break it up a bit, add in or take out segments. The lyrical content (ie the actual words) are quite good, there is a recurring theme which is fine. Also, lyrics are one thing but how you actually express them in a song makes a bit difference.

Cheers dude
#3
extra verse:
I'm waiting to see your beautiful face
i can tell this will be a long hard chase
Loud was the noise that took me away
And im gonna get you back, now what can i say