CanIbeDanny?
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2011
43 IQ
#1
I made this piece in about 20 minutes at 6 this morning, so don't be too hard on me! Kinda August burns red inspired, just felt like making a metalcore song that would go down good around the Charleston hardcore scene. Just leave a link and I'll crit back. Thanks!

E: Second guitar added.
Attachments:
i abuse crash cymbals.gp5
i abuse crash cymbals improved.gp5
Sigs are for pansies.
Last edited by CanIbeDanny? at Oct 20, 2011,
Mean Mr Mustard
Naked By The Computer
Join date: Aug 2007
6,873 IQ
#2
I can't imagine this going down "good" in any hardcore scene, since it's generic metalcore...

That said, it was written decently. I think the main problem is that it sounds too thin, mainly because of a lack of bass and a second guitar. A second guitar track panned to the opposite side could not only fatten it out but also leave the door open for a harmony, counter-melody, rhythm, octave lead....so many possibilities. I think you should do that before moving on, since it will really improve it
CanIbeDanny?
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2011
43 IQ
#3
Quote by Mean Mr Mustard
I can't imagine this going down "good" in any hardcore scene, since it's generic metalcore...



You haven't been to Charleston, SC then. Generic's our thing.
Sigs are for pansies.
gabrielcev
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2011
369 IQ
#4
Very very generic... If your going to write a generic metalcore song make sure its has at least one thing that stands out. Ive heard all this before and done better so nothing special. Good job though but in the metalcore scene youll soon discover everything sounds the same so your going to have to break the mold when your song writing.