#1
So, I wrote this little intro-verse-chorus, and I've been working on it for a while.
I had time to record it with my hd300, so here it is.

http://soundcloud.com/theastronauter/demothing

Mind you, I'm 16, and I don't consider my voice anything special, but i'd like to get some criticism and such to help me create better music in the future.
Take heart, sweetheart, or i will take it from you.
#2
it needs more dis or maybe just the vol turned up on the guitar
not bad starting point just needs some fine tuning
#3
sounds good i would recommend that the chorus be more overdriven and cranked up with gain or a straight clean because it sounds a little choppy from the rest of it but the emotion is there and thats the main thing that needs to be there everything else will fall into place
#4
I think it has potential, but your lack of mixing skills and guitar tones make the song lack where it could be awesome
Quote by Dave_Mc
I've had tube amps for a while now, but never actually had any go down on me
Quote by jj1565
maybe you're not saying the right things? an amp likes to know you care.





www.SanctityStudios.com
#5
Thanks everyone a bunch, and I have a total lack of mixing skills, duh.
I'll finish it up and get some drums added, and throw some more distortion in the chorus, and even some harmonies for the verse.
Take heart, sweetheart, or i will take it from you.
#6
Quote by unionfreak72
Thanks everyone a bunch, and I have a total lack of mixing skills, duh.
I'll finish it up and get some drums added, and throw some more distortion in the chorus, and even some harmonies for the verse.

Lose the weird effects on the vocals and I think it'll be much better. They sound okay on the clean part, cause I could see them being an interesting stylistic thing (though, it still needs work), but the louder parts on the chorus just don't work IMO.
Quote by Dave_Mc
I've had tube amps for a while now, but never actually had any go down on me
Quote by jj1565
maybe you're not saying the right things? an amp likes to know you care.





www.SanctityStudios.com
#7
To add to what's been said, I think that unless your mic is absolutely horrendous you need to stand much closer to the mic to get a warmer tone via proximity effect (assuming you're using a typical cardioid-pattern vocal mic). The mix itself is lacking a bit in terms of clarity and brightness of the backing - the performance is in-time from what I can tell without a full backing where I'd expect the drums to come in, but with a bit of compression on everything you could probably improve things further so it sounds like a spare, but powerful intro.

Music-wise, I won't pass judgement... because in that case this is in the wrong forum (you want the Original Recordings sub-forum) So yeah, aside from this likely being in the wrong place, a decent effort for someone relatively new to recording.
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