#1
Take everything that you will ever need,
Instead, we'll all wait 'till the day we're paid.
Did we forget? Money is man-made!
With enough of us heard,
Man and money COULD part ways.

Nothing was ever built to last
we get incensed
But that so fast to pass.

It's a poor life for the poor,
To make the rich richer,
Whose got time to cry though,
When each day is getting quicker.

And they've bought our families
They own our homes
They sit together,
We stand alone.
And when they do so little,
But get much more,
Don't ask why boy,

Never ask why.
You take my place in the showdown, I observe with a pitiful eye. I'll humbly ask you forgiveness, a request well beyond you and I.
#3
Cheers man, and don't take this the wrong way but I can see that you've posted this sort of comment on numerous different pieces, which is all good and well but when you want people to critique yours back, surely you yourself would want more than a line? I think you need to be more detailed.
You take my place in the showdown, I observe with a pitiful eye. I'll humbly ask you forgiveness, a request well beyond you and I.
#6
Thanks guys,
@Kevin: I don't like much metal, and I don't like Megadeth I'm afraid. If I'm thinking of the right band, then Dave Mustaine has written a few good f*ck you lyrics.

@Nofoot: true, it's not very original but this is far from the finished song so hopefully I'll find the improvement that's required to fill that void.
You take my place in the showdown, I observe with a pitiful eye. I'll humbly ask you forgiveness, a request well beyond you and I.
#7
Pretty good, brah. Keep writing
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Quote by stevebomb
If I wanted to listen to something slow, I'd play some hippie music.