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#1
I'm 17, and this girl that I was totally crazy about (not going to throw the word love around) moved about 1000 miles away, and before she left, we flirted all the time, and she would always talk about cuddling, and we'd hang out etc, etc. Anyway, my home life is shit, I got kicked out of school, I can't keep up with virtual school, everyone in my family depends on me to help watch my 8-month old niece, and I fight with my parents all the time. Not looking for sympathy, but like that's the way it is. Anyway, this girl constantly tells me she wants me to come up to where she is, she's getting an apartment and wants me to stay with her BAD. Like the conversation we just had goes as follows,

Me: >Honest to god, how would you feel if I came up there?
Her: > Honest to God, that would make my life amazing, Is this for real? Cause like that would honestly make my life. Don't **** with me about this.
Me: >Yeah I'm really considering it
Her: >Please please please Anonymous!!! PLEASE! I need someone awesome in my life <3

Anyway, I only have 6 months left until I turn 18, and I'm really getting sick of the pressures of "go to a big school, get a big high paying job, because that's the only way to be happy" attitude this whole country gives, and I really want to live life, and have adventure and excitement in my life because you're here for a good time, not a long time. So what do you think?
#2
I think do what you wanna do, not what everyone else, (including your parents) want you to do.
Live your life!
"You're not hardcore unless you live hardcore"
#3
Quote by stealstrings
I think do what you wanna do, not what everyone else, (including your parents) want you to do.
Live your life!

This, you only live once, if you wanna go for it then go for it.

When you're old and on your deathbed you'll regret chances you never took, and it will be too late then.

edit: people in this thread are gonna give you hassle, more than likley, but what i've said is true and the other comment is right, it's your life.
Last edited by Zoot Allures at Oct 23, 2011,
#4
I think that's an incredibly risky decision, based on a girl that seems a little needy. But your life, your mistakes.

Go for it.
#5
Quote by bassman4694
LONG STORY


It's interesting that you told her your name is Anonymous, but I think that won't bode well for a long term relationship when she finds out that isn't true.

If you can tear yourself away from everything you have where you are then go ahead if you want. But don't do it just for her. You're in for a Hell of a mess ditching your family and everything you know, especially for a girl. In all honesty you guys probably won't make it. Kudos if you do, but in reality it'll be tough. If you want to go to start your life anew, then that's not a bad place to start since she will be a little bit of the infrastructure your life needs.

But remember, leaving won't solve all of your problems. You will need to finish your education, get a job, pay rent, etc when you get there. The responsibilities of life will hunt you down and find you. Then they will make a coat out of your skin.
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that'd be slightly creepy if i didn't find it so amusing.
#6
They'll be other women.

Think with your big head, not your small one

You know why I'm saying this? Because I have a feeling this is not the entire story, and that you're presenting it in a way that may justify running away from life to join this girl.
#7
Well as long as you can pay your way (find a job) over there, why not?

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#8
Quote by bassman4694
I'm really getting sick of the pressures of "go to a big school, get a big high paying job, because that's the only way to be happy" attitude this whole country gives, and I really want to live life, and have adventure and excitement in my life because you're here for a good time, not a long time. So what do you think?

I thought exactly the same thing. That's why I joined the military.
I'm rgrockr and I do not approve of this message.
#9
Quote by abdulalhazred
The responsibilities of life will hunt you down and find you. Then they will make a coat out of your skin.


Oooh I like that.
#11
Give it some time before you actually make a decision. Things have a way of revealing themselves if you are patient.
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#12
Quote by Dudeinator
They'll be other women.

Think with your big head, not your small one

You know why I'm saying this? Because I have a feeling this is not the entire story, and that you're presenting it in a way that may justify running away from life to join this girl.



I don't mean to sound like a dick but what do you mean it doesn't sound like the full story?
#13
Quote by hippogasmo
Give it some time before you actually make a decision. Things have a way of revealing themselves if you are patient.

This is actually true too, a big decision like this shouldn't really be rushed into. At the same time i don't really believe anyone deserves a mundane dull existance, it appears to be what is strived for these days by an endless many though.

Ts, give it a little bit of time, think about it carefully but if it is what you want to do, then do it. That's the important thing here, you've got two roads to choose from.
Last edited by Zoot Allures at Oct 23, 2011,
#14
Quote by abdulalhazred
But remember, leaving won't solve all of your problems. You will need to finish your education, get a job, pay rent, etc when you get there. The responsibilities of life will hunt you down and find you.

This is the most important thing that has been said in this thread.

Whether you stay where you are or go be with this girl, you have to make sure you have a future. You won't have one if you drop everything and don't have a sensible plan.
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#15
Quote by bassman4694
I don't mean to sound like a dick but what do you mean it doesn't sound like the full story?


It means that you're not thinking clearly. You've presented your story and rationalized it as if your life is shit and leaving for this girl is going to make your life not shit.

But that ain't the truth. Those problems will persist, except this time instead of taking your frustrations out on your parents, you'll take frustrations out on your girl.

You think she's not gonna care whether you don't get a good job to pay for stuff?
Last edited by Dudeinator at Oct 23, 2011,
#16
Quote by GaryBillington
This is the most important thing that has been said in this thread.

Whether you stay where you are or go be with this girl, you have to make sure you have a future. You won't have one if you drop everything and don't have a sensible plan.

They said the same thing about Steve Jobs.

This is a good speech, worth reading http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2011/oct/06/steve-jobs-pancreas-cancer
#17
Quote by Zoot Allures
it's your life.


Quote by Athabasca
My ex did the same. Cheated on me and then acted like I'd given her sister a facial. Women are retarded.
#18
And just F.Y.I guys, it has nothing to do with ditching like everything for her. Like I got busted with drugs at my super religious school so I have almost no friends left, me and my parents fight every day over stupid shit that they make big deals out of nothing, they constantly threaten to send me back and forth from house to house, or to send me to some program to learn to "be respectful" Seriously wtf? And like, I can't do virtual school on time so I'm probably not going to graduate this year anyway, and like there isn't much here for me. Even ifme and that girl don't end up hooking up or being a couple, like I think I would be happy to start over and like live with a hot girl in an exciting new city. What do you think? Then again, I've probably already made up my mind and I'm just looking for reassurance hahaha
#19
If you think you'll be able to sustain yourself financially, do it.
Quote by Athabasca
My ex did the same. Cheated on me and then acted like I'd given her sister a facial. Women are retarded.
#20
Quote by bassman4694
And just F.Y.I guys, it has nothing to do with ditching like everything for her. Like I got busted with drugs at my super religious school so I have almost no friends left, me and my parents fight every day over stupid shit that they make big deals out of nothing, they constantly threaten to send me back and forth from house to house, or to send me to some program to learn to "be respectful" Seriously wtf? And like, I can't do virtual school on time so I'm probably not going to graduate this year anyway, and like there isn't much here for me. Even ifme and that girl don't end up hooking up or being a couple, like I think I would be happy to start over and like live with a hot girl in an exciting new city. What do you think? Then again, I've probably already made up my mind and I'm just looking for reassurance hahaha


Pics or didn't happen.
#21
Quote by Dudeinator
It means that you're not thinking clearly. You've presented your story and rationalized it as if your life is shit and leaving for this girl is going to make your life not shit.

But that ain't the truth. Those problems will persist, except this time instead of taking your frustrations out on your parents, you'll take frustrations out on your girl.

You think she's not gonna care whether you don't get a good job to pay for stuff?


But all of the things that are a problem would still be here. Like, I wouldn't have to be around my crazy ass family, I would eventually re-enroll in school when I get settled, I would get a job to help pay for things, stop being everyones doormat, and like live my own life you know?
#22
I'll tell you right now, you gotta focus on graduating high school now more than anything. Dont focus on the big picture, just worry about getting high school out of the way. Then when you have done that, you do whatever makes you happy, mistake or not, becuase you gotta be happy.

Dont stress over college and starting a career if graduating high school is your current hurdle.
#23
Quote by abdulalhazred
If you can tear yourself away from everything you have where you are then go ahead if you want. But don't do it just for her. You're in for a Hell of a mess ditching your family and everything you know, especially for a girl. In all honesty you guys probably won't make it. Kudos if you do, but in reality it'll be tough. If you want to go to start your life anew, then that's not a bad place to start since she will be a little bit of the infrastructure your life needs.

But remember, leaving won't solve all of your problems. You will need to finish your education, get a job, pay rent, etc when you get there. The responsibilities of life will hunt you down and find you. Then they will make a coat out of your skin.


Pretty much what this guy said.

It's nice to do these kinds of things as a relief/release of stress or something else, but looking at it through the idea of permanence is something else. Eventually you'll have to deal with things in some form or another. If this girl is what you feel it will take to help you get back on track in your life, then so be it. Just go with the intention of getting yourself together, not just to be with someone or possibly spend your life with them (not sure if you're thinking that).

I know I've done this kind of thing (went to live in another city for a bit) just to kinda clear my head of the pressures of life, and it really did help, but I quickly realized that you can't just run from everything.
Oh f*ck it,
I'm gonna have a party.
I had the blankest year,
I watched life turn into a TV show.
It was totally weird.
#24
Quote by bassman4694
But all of the things that are a problem would still be here. Like, I wouldn't have to be around my crazy ass family, I would eventually re-enroll in school when I get settled, I would get a job to help pay for things, stop being everyones doormat, and like live my own life you know?

If your life sucks now and you really think you can do better if you go off with the girl then do it. Personally if i had no friends and my family sucked i'd be out the door too.
#25
Quote by bassman4694
And just F.Y.I guys, it has nothing to do with ditching like everything for her. Like I got busted with drugs at my super religious school so I have almost no friends left, me and my parents fight every day over stupid shit that they make big deals out of nothing, they constantly threaten to send me back and forth from house to house, or to send me to some program to learn to "be respectful" Seriously wtf? And like, I can't do virtual school on time so I'm probably not going to graduate this year anyway, and like there isn't much here for me. Even ifme and that girl don't end up hooking up or being a couple, like I think I would be happy to start over and like live with a hot girl in an exciting new city. What do you think? Then again, I've probably already made up my mind and I'm just looking for reassurance hahaha


Pretty much.

Starting a new life in a new city is exciting and all, but it's tough shit. You're gonna need money and a goal. Judging from what I've seen, you have neither.

Good luck anyhow.
#26
I have nothing of value to add to this discussion. At least not with everybody up there having said the same thing.

But I'd like to say one thing. You've got balls to sport a name like 'Anonymous'.

/trollface
#27
No offense, TS, but this sounds more like "Im a tough badass guy with a hot girlfriend"- bragging thread. I would never let Pit decide that important thing for me. Use your own brain.
#28
No first off, to clear things up Pit, she's not even my girlfriend. Whether or not something would happen in the future isn't clear but like I'm not just "dropping everything to be with this girl." So like, I'm not bragging, and also my name obviously isn't Anonymous lol. But like, would re enrolling next year to finish high school be that big of a hurdle and like if shit did hit the fan would it be that hard to start over there or here? Like I wouldn't need money at first because I would be staying with her when I first got there, and like I would get a job once I got settled in, and I would plan to save a little money, either finish high school next year, or get my GED, and see what colleges I can get into. I have Florida Prepaid here, but like honest to God, I don't know if I can tough it out. And like not to brag, but I got a 1950 on my SAT, so I'm sure I could find a college up there that would take me, and probably find someway to get some kind of scholarship/financial aid as well.
#29
Do it. It can only end well.

I'd laugh if you moved in with her and she was like 'there's the couch bro, and this is Bruno, my real estate agent boyfriend. Bruno, this is my gay friend Bassman, I've been bugging him to come stay with me so we can have makeovers, cosmopolitans and talk about cute guys!'
If your parents never had children, chances are, you wont either.

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#31
Your mind is pretty much set to go, so why ask?

The simple fact that you might be homeless if she wants it be clearly isn't going to stop you.

Nor is the fact that high schools do background checks before you enroll and it's going to be a lot tougher to get in than you think.

Nor is the fact that getting a decent job without having completed high school is extremely difficult.
#32
Quote by Dudeinator
Your mind is pretty much set to go, so why ask?

The simple fact that you might be homeless if she wants it be clearly isn't going to stop you.

Nor is the fact that high schools do background checks before you enroll and it's going to be a lot tougher to get in than you think.

Nor is the fact that getting a decent job without having completed high school is extremely difficult.

Well he could always go back to his current (bad) life if it really went totally wrong.
#33
I don't know about America, But in Australia it really helps to finish your High school education at least to get a basic job... No one hires drop outs, for anything other than landscaping. So finish that.

You really should just tough it out man, It might feel like hell but you're only 17, with a few pressures. You could be in a worse position in life. At the moment it just doesn't justify moving a 1000 km (or miles whatever it was) to be with some girl who's just over anxious imo. Girls always talk like that man. I fell for the wrong girl last year and lost my best friend in the process because of a girl that talked like that.

In the end it's your decision. But seriously, don't run away. Chances are your going to stumble and end up back at home. You may learn from that though.

Reason for me saying all of this... I've been there and done that and seen others too.

Good luck anyways man. Life can really suck sometimes.
Last edited by Mr.-Bungle at Oct 23, 2011,
#34
Quote by Dudeinator

The simple fact that you might be homeless if she wants it be clearly isn't going to stop you.

Nor is the fact that high schools do background checks before you enroll and it's going to be a lot tougher to get in than you think.

Nor is the fact that getting a decent job without having completed high school is extremely difficult.


These types of things are undoubtedly true, but he can do things to minimize the problems like contacting high schools and trying to find one in the area before he goes or getting his shit together so it at least looks like he's turned his life around from his druggy past.

I suggest you think as hard as you can about what problems you will face, plan on how you will conquer them and start your conquering. You need to start this as soon as you possibly can. If you are going to leave, this should be priority one.
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that'd be slightly creepy if i didn't find it so amusing.
#35
Quote by bassman4694
Sarcasm?


Massive.
If your parents never had children, chances are, you wont either.

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#36
Quote by blake1221
Oooh I like that.


Always remember to masturbate before making big life decisions.


Or does that only apply to relationships?
#37
lol nah, fuck that. running away isn't going to solve your problems. especially when you haven't even graduated high school. let's get a couple things out there as well I highly doubt you'll 'enroll in school once i get settled in' that sounds like a set-up for the typical 'I left high school then never felt like going back and totally regret it now' story. also, if you're having trouble with virtual school now I'm sure it will be 'that big of a hurdle' to finish school if you moved. oh, and just because you have nice test scores doesn't mean you'll get into a good school. you actually have to have a decent gpa to get accepted, and if you're out of school, no offense, but I doubt they're that great.

and as far as 'getting to live with a hot girl' I'm sure you wont be as excited about that when she's banging a dude or two when you're there. or even if you guys do try to date and when you guys inevitably break up, what're you going to do then?

I'm not saying there's a problem with 'just living' likes Zoots and a couple other guys have advocated, but there's a difference between taking a year off between high school and college to just live, or to just live after college and just living when you haven't even graduated high school.

in short, finish high school and deal with your problems instead of trying to run away. if your family is really that big of a problem you could just as easily get a job and live on your own instead of depending on some girl you kinda have a thing for.
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#38
Quote by deadkenedy
Do it. It can only end well.

I'd laugh if you moved in with her and she was like 'there's the couch bro, and this is Bruno, my real estate agent boyfriend. Bruno, this is my gay friend Bassman, I've been bugging him to come stay with me so we can have makeovers, cosmopolitans and talk about cute guys!'

funny shit!
[img]http://cdn.gs.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/v.gif[/img]
#39
Do it. Life is hard either way, so pick the exciting one.

If it works out with the girl, great, you have a couple of years of good experience.

If it doesn't work out, chances are your family will accept you back regardless of what happened, and you have lived through a shitty experience to know how much your life at home was really worth.


If you stay at home, your life will be exactly like it is now. No change, no new experiences. Well, except your 8-month old niece shitting her diapers.
#40
You sound like a person with a home life that is not uncommon. You're 17 (or around that age), of course you are going to be arguing with your parents about things. Thats part of your age and idealistic thinking. You got caught with drugs at school. That shows irresponsibility on your part. Why exactly are you falling behind in your virtual highschool? Are you just not doing the work? You form sentences like a teenage girl, and use the word "like" compulsively. That makes you sound, in my opinion, like you may have some growing up to do. It also sounds like you don't plan on finding a job before you go to live 1000 miles away. Waiting until you settle in is a horrible idea. Is this chick really going to cover your living expenses when/if you find a job? You may want to reevaluate your plan. Moving out is expensive, and probably more so than you think. You're not even in a relationship with her, but it sounds like you want to be. That could easily turn into a nightmare. You think that you'll go back to college after a few years off, but in reality, a lot of people who think that way don't go back to college because they're already in the "real world." If you choose to still go, that's your decision. Keep in mind that this is a huge decision, and it would do you well to examine your options and your current situation closely before making a final decision.
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