I filled my revolver up with blanks when she wasn't looking
and hid it where she would find it
so I can see if she forgives me or not
Last edited by greyeyedfire at Oct 24, 2011,
Should change the last line to something with more impact, like "to test if her forgiveness (is that a word?) was genuine" like that but less crap :P,
the "me or not" bit was just a bit weak.

also the title is wicked. good job.
good shit. i think the idea is great. the execution could use some polishing though, some restructuring. breaking this up into two sentences might help and make it more powerful.