Rokkstar
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2011
1,773 IQ
#1
IMPORTANT! If you like my material, please go "Like" my Facebook fan page to keep updated with my music and to receive immediate updates when tracks are out. This will also help me see how many people like my music... Thanks

So I got a band together!!! We're a pop punk band! I always knew when I got to college there would be plenty of musicians around!! We actually sound pretty good. This is going to be like our first song. I know it seems kinda lame generic chugging in the verses. But it's overall like a great pop-punk song in my eyes... (I haven't showed the guys this one yet...) Tell me what you think!!!! Especially the outro. The lyrics below are inaccurate (slightly) as vocal melodies are going to be re-written by the band I presume.

UPDATE:

Really rough single acoustic recording:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJpO4-R6_6Y&feature=related

Please leave feedback on the YouTube video and here? I would love you.
Attachments:
[03] Under the Moon.zip
Last edited by Rokkstar at Feb 4, 2012,
Mean Mr Mustard
Naked By The Computer
Join date: Aug 2007
6,873 IQ
#2
Pretty good stuff. All the parts lead into each other pretty well, and the chorus has that intense punch that the song needed. I hope your singer has got some raspy vocals, like Living with Lions or Latterman, because those type of pop-punk vocals would go PERFECT over top of this. I wasn't too fond of the break around 2 minutes though. I would just have a clean guitar strumming the chords instead of all the picking and stuff. Same with the outro, it sounds a bit too cluttered. I'd keep the drums the same, add in some rhythem guitar playing the power chord parts, and keep the vocal melodies. I liked how it ended slowly.

Overall, it was very enjoyable as a pop-punk piece. Personally, I'm more fond of the less poppy stuff, but given the right vocals, this could sound amazing. My major complaint is the outro, it just sounds out of place, almost like you were trying to incorporate your old style into this song, which I advise against.

If you could C4C, you could look at one of the songs in my sig, they're pop-punk too!
Saint78
julian wells
Join date: May 2009
1,760 IQ
#3
That was one of the better songs I've seen on here actually, the only things I can think of is during the verses and the pre-choruses during the palm-muting instead of accenting by hitting on all three strings, un-palm-mute, because that will sound more punk, and if you want to make it groove a little more, put the accents in different places. That's really all I can think of.
C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1492160
you're a stone fox
Joshua1207
Hipster Jesus
Join date: Mar 2009
1,804 IQ
#4
I liked the intro a lot, very nice vocal line. I especially enjoyed the chorus, very memorable. Crossover was a pretty good transition to the verse.
Bar 90 comes in greatly and is probably my favorite section of the song. Very nice piano lines. The outro was very nice too and fit perfectly.

I wish I could find flaws in this, but I can't =/ The only thing I didn't like really was the vocals at bar 114 to the end but eh.
I didn't really have much to say, but if you still want to critic back... https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1492189
LRCGUITAR
Lancashire, UK
Join date: Dec 2009
913 IQ
#6
This is really, really good. I'm not much of a pop-punk person but I really enjoyed it, it's definitely something I'd listen to if it was properly recorded. The only thing that bothers me as such is that it seems a bit crowded, it could have done with a few breaks, perhaps between verses or something, just to give the choruses more distinction, if that makes sense

If you have time, it'd be great if you could have a look at this.