#1
simple love poem. ots. c4c.


you are better than a lot of things.

we can ask your coral lips,
the empty beer cans under my bed,
two or three obscure short stories
you haven't read,
your bouncy cheeks and small breasts
for proof.

it's true.
because i'd gladly eat a salad
on a busy day, just to hold your hand
and maybe smoke a cigarette afterwards
. . . . .- that is,
instead of going to the theater or something.

i like how your vegetarian mouth
goes well with this damp cave of mine,
and the needles on my skin,
and your trippy eyes,
and impressionism, and the way you move ...
i too like some of the words you say.

here's something i've been meaning to write for a while:
spending time with you,
in my messy bed
with our clothes off and under the sheets,
is way better than a lot of things.
#2
i have nothing bad to say about this really. i enjoyed the good imagery. and it did what all good love poems, in my opinion(based on my perception of the world lol), make me do: think of my girl!
check it:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1490359


edit:i just realised i said food imagery! i meant good. its been a long night...
Last edited by Dillon_Kennedy at Oct 26, 2011,
#3
if i do manage to snag the girl i'm pursuing, this is getting recited to her.
the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn


#4
this sounds a lot like my life and it also has inspired me. so lets hope for the best.
#5
Brilliant.
Music is an art form that celebrates potential. So long as you're looking for it, you'll always find it.
#6
It's funny you mentioned impressionism here, because this poem reminded me of the style. Lots of short, little words and images that together show a much bigger image.

I wasn't in love with every image here, like "this damp cave of mine", but I think it all worked out for the best. Masterfully done.
#7
Quote by Dillon_Kennedy

edit:i just realised i said food imagery! i meant good. its been a long night...



i was like 'whaat? someone's either hungry or a vegetarian'.


thanks everyone for reading. glad you found it relatable and enjoyable. this was a really a quick cute love poem, i was in the mood and boom, it came into existence. i tried to keep things simple, while somehow inserting a bit of quirkyness and surrealism here and there. this was inspired by 'pop art' and 'pop literature' (not even sure if that's a real genre, but i love pop culture).


feel free to leave links, y'all. i'll be checking pieces.