#1
Yo, I'm a thesis-writing machine
I sweat research and bleed paragraphs
Somebody pass me my word processor
Alt-tab! Alt-tab!
Control-S
Spell-check it

To the typical graduate student, see
Death would be a relief, Sis
So there's nothing that's certain but taxes
And the graduate thesis
So when we're rendering unto,
We render to Kaiser the things that are Kaiser's
And the thesis we render in manuscript form
To our thesis adviser

We do reading and reasearch,
Digesting the knowledge we're masticating
We be crafting and drafting
No time to be procrastinating
And we're sending off drafts that are rough
Just as soon as it's prudent
Damn, G, it's hard work to be
A graduate student

I'm out
Hey! Somebody turned off autosave!
Who turned off my autosave?!

That was my favorite paragraph, too.
Shit.
Nothing to see here. Move along.