#1
Not really a love song, but I figured I would write something funny and cute for this girl based what I know about her so far.

We chill together fairly often, and just generally have a good time communicating within our average conversations. I don't know her that well so I didn't want to come off as creepy in any way, basically just letting her know I would like to get to know her better.

Here's what I have so far, any criticism is appreciated. Again, I'm not putting my heart and soul into this so bear with me on the simplicity.

Jessica
---------

Let's go burn a whole forest of green
And get so high that we sink into a dream
Forgetting where we are supposed to be
As reality appears to tear at the seams

I don't mind if there is nothing to do
Boring seems like a good time with you
Our conversations are so lazy and free
When I'm with you it's so easy to be...Me

Friendship found like a hidden treasure
I keep singing and my face gets redder
You know we've had good times together
But I think I want get to know you better

It's too damn hard not to love your swag
So strange I'm afraid but its not that bad
My heart is dancin' in the wind like a feather
And I think I want get to know you better


C4C
Last edited by fenderdude06 at Nov 1, 2011,
#2
cute haha

I think the 'be...me' is crossing the cheesy line - you could leave it at 'be' without the '...me' and it could mean just as much if not more, or you could at least take out the '...' to de-emphasize. you could even say something like 'when i'm with you it's so easy to breathe'

also i think instead of using 'whole' in the first line it might flow better with another one-syllable adjective, like 'huge'
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