#1
I'd post this in the relationship thread, but then I wouldn't get nearly the amount of attention I want, now would I? No tl;dr, if you don't care enough to read then I don't care enough about your whining and/or complaining.

I'll start this off with some background:

At the beginning of last year I dated this chick for maybe 4 or 5 months. I'll put it out there plain and simple; I was naive. I believed that I loved her, and maybe I did. Who knows, but it was most likely some sort of highschool boy syndrome that made me believe what I did. The important thing is that I was really into her, and then she cheated on me.

But it wasn't like she just one day up and boned some dude and that was the end of it. She had been cheating on me long before I caught wind of it, most likely in the same month that we started dating, and with multiple people. I started suspecting one night while I was away on a trip with the family. I heard my brother on the phone, and apparently the girl he was talking to had seen her with another guy eating out somewhere. I immediately called her up and asked her what she was doing. A bunch of complicated stuff went down, but to sum it up, she half told the truth and half lied about many things that went down that night. I was too trusting to break off the relationship there, I wanted to believe so badly that she wasn't seeing other people that I kept myself with her. For those two months, life was pure hell. I would convince myself that she was right and be okay for a little while, but then the creeping doubt would swallow my mind again and Id be miserable. That was the most miserable time of my life, just not knowing which side to take. Eventually I found out the whole truth and dumped her. End of that story.

My current girlfriend of somewhere between 1 and 1.5 years ( I say "current," but were technically not together now.) has had a crazy past, too. Just about every single one of her past boyfriends has cheated on her. Some of this abuse has even challenged her mental state (She has a lot of mental problems that she deals with like Anorexia and borderline personality disorder) along with neglect from her parents. All of this crap that she has had to deal with has led her to have severely negative views on reality and her ego and self image are just totally destroyed. She thinks that she is literally worth nothing.

Now for the current situation:

I really love this girl, and this time I'm not talking about kiddie little highschool love. Our feelings about each other have been put through the test many times and in many ways, but I still feel like shes the one who I want to spend my life with. She'd be the perfect wife, the perfect mother, and has proved to be my very best friend. Recently we have been separated by about 3.5 to 4 hours of driving distance, as she has gone off to college and I have stayed home to my local community college.

We have had our share of problems, communication issues, mostly. Our personality differences clash; I'm an analytical thinker, shes emotionally based. When she has a problem, I immediately go to thinking of what could be faults in her logic, what can solve her problem, what is the root of the problem, what affects the outcome relating to her problem, and so on. All she wants is a hug and a consoling word or two. This is difficult for me to comprehend, especially when its something in which the fault is her own logic (like when she says shes fat, when she feels worthless, other things dealing with her self image and self worth). But these problems are things that we are coping with and learning to deal with and adapt to.

Even more recently I've started to make new friends at my college. Some of these friends are girls. One girl in particular I've been hanging out with pretty often, but I don't, and have never, seen her as anything other than a friend. We hang out with other people together and have only been alone maybe once or twice, but not on our own choosing. We have eaten out together once, but with other people and not as a couple. Suddenly my girlfriend starts hearing from some inside source that this girl and I have been flirting it up together and going out to eat frequently, and that we have been alone in dark places frequently. To put it in the words of the informer, "They might as well be dating."

Now I know that I have been hanging out with this girl frequently, but never have I flirted with her or given any sign that I wanted to be anything but friends. I know that I am innocent, yet at the same time, I know that she has no way of knowing what is the truth and what is a lie. In a way, she is in the same position that I was in with my ex girlfriend.

Now, upon hearing these allegations, she confronted me and accused me of them. This is understandable. Her self esteem is rock bottom, and she honestly expects that any other girl would be better than her. So, under her logic, why wouldn't I cheat? In her mind, this adds so much to the plausibility of the accusing argument.

I completely explained myself. I told her the truth, that I didn't cheat and never planned to. I explained my activitys, and to which she agreed to the legitimacy of. Yet, an accuser with seemingly no ulterior motive carries much weight and releases much doubt. I don't blame her for doubting, and I still don't.

In the end, I decided that the best thing for her was to let her go. I know that the doubt and worry in my previous relationship was painful. I knew that there was no way for her to just brush off those false accusations and not have any doubt or worry. I couldn't let her deal with the same pain I had to go through in my past relationship, especially knowing how much worse it would be for her, knowing her past. I chose to let her go so that she would not have to feel that pain, even though her leaving me would hurt me. I already miss her, but I missed her before the break up since we haven't seen each other in 2 or 3 weeks. I texted her a little bit to tell her that I missed her and loved her.

Did I do the right thing? Discuss.


Also, if you want a pic, one can be found in the adbot titled Halloween costume thread I made a while ago.
...it was bright as the sun, but with ten times the heat
#2
Quote by c3powil

I'd post this in the relationship thread, but then I wouldn't get nearly the amount of attention I want, now would I?


What puts you above the rules of the forum? lol


Bitch was too paranoid, you did the right thing.
Last edited by blake1221 at Nov 4, 2011,
#3
Tl;dr
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#4
Ok, read it now.

That sucks dude. Your life sucks. The person who told your girlfriend those lies sucks.

You should go win her back.
Last edited by Weaponized at Nov 4, 2011,
#5
i read the title as "dildo the right thing"


>>-(ಠ_ಠ-<<
>>-(. Y .)-<<
>>> . (<<<
>>-( Y )-<<
Quote by dudetheman
Dude, your fucking sig creeps me out.

Quote by Kosh H
I just noticed his sig too...I feel uncomfortable now...

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Your sig killed my boner _


DIY SO-CAL PUNK LABEL
#6
Quote by blake1221
What puts you above the rules of the forum? lol


There's no "ONLY" relationship thread, is there?
...it was bright as the sun, but with ten times the heat
#7
Quote by c3powil
There's no "ONLY" relationship thread, is there?


There's The Relationship Thread, smart ass.

And lo and behold, the Forbidden Threads sticky links you right to it!

MAGNETS!
Last edited by blake1221 at Nov 4, 2011,
#10
Quote by c3powil
I'd post this in the relationship thread, but then I wouldn't get nearly the amount of attention I want, now would I?

Quote by c3powil
There's no "ONLY" relationship thread, is there?
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*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown