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#1
They're just fucking immature assholes.


Post moar lame jokes pls.
Hahahahahahahahahah hahahaha har har har
#5
How do you get a crusty punk out of the bathtub?

Put water into it.
Sing me to sleep.
#7
What's the best part about dating twenty six year olds?

There's twenty of them.
*pedobear.jpg*
I'm rgrockr and I do not approve of this message.
#9
inb4 the "not all pedophiles are child molesters" cry baby league shows up
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#10
What's the best part about child porn?


All of it.


dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#11
That took me a while for some reason.

A polar bear walks into a bar and says "__________________________I'd like a beer."

The bartender looks at the bear and responds, "What's with the large pause?"
#12
Quote by Jack Off Jill
inb4 the anime thread shows up



Fixed
PM me for newts
#13
Quote by slipknot5678
That took me a while for some reason.

A polar bear walks into a bar and says "__________________________I'd like a beer."

The bartender looks at the bear and responds, "What's with the large pause?"



"I don't know, I was born with them."


That's my favorite joke of all time.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#15
Quote by McTodd
They're just fucking immature assholes.


I am Batman.



You want some more seeneyj hate? WELL YOU CAN'T HAVE IT

You're all a bunch of f*cking slaves! - Jim Morrison

UG Awards
1st: Biggest Ego
1st: Most Likely To Become Famous
1st: Most Pretentious User
#16
Quote by aeroslash09
How do you get a crusty punk out of the bathtub?

Put water into it.

Heh
#17
A horse walks into a bar.

The barman asks: "Why the long face?"


The horse replies sadly: "My youngest son has just been diagnosed with advanced Multiple Sclerosis." ಠ_ಠ
#18
how do you make a 12 year old girl cry? wipe your bloody wiener on her teddy bear after raping her.


heard it from a friend, not my sense of humor
#19
What really upsets me is that Michael Jackson wasn't allowed to have a few freebie kids to 'play' with before he passed away.

For shame.

...

Oh, this is a joke thread...

...

I'll get my coat...
Last edited by Novacane... at Nov 4, 2011,
#20
Why did the boy fall off the swing?

Because he had no arms.


What do you call an Afghan driving a plane?

A pilot.
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: New York Voices, as well as the new Vulfpeck record (fuck it's so good)


You throw like a girl. A girl who is great at baseball and has a fiery passion for the sport.
#21
So, there were an Irishman, an Englishman and an American wrecked on an island. One day, they found a bottle, and when they opened it, a ghost came out and offered them each a wish. However, even though they wished for different stuff, nothing happened, as the three guys of varying nationalities were just having shared hallucinations from hunger.

Quote by LordBishek
A horse walks into a bar.

The barman asks: "Why the long face?"


The horse replies sadly: "My youngest son has just been diagnosed with advanced Multiple Sclerosis." ಠ_ಠ



I've heard a spin on that joke where the horse says, "I just killed my wife."
В словах есть что-то неприличное.
#22
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, the bartender says, "is this a joke?"
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#23
So an American, a Canadian and a Mexican walk into a bar. The American brags that he's the only one out of the three that has nice neighbours
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: New York Voices, as well as the new Vulfpeck record (fuck it's so good)


You throw like a girl. A girl who is great at baseball and has a fiery passion for the sport.
#24
Quote by Wolfinator-x
So an American, a Canadian and a Mexican walk into a bar. The American brags that he's the only one out of the three that has nice neighbours

___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#25
Quote by WCPhils
I'm kidding brah, the other times I've seen you on UG you were cool with me so we're cool, cool?
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: New York Voices, as well as the new Vulfpeck record (fuck it's so good)


You throw like a girl. A girl who is great at baseball and has a fiery passion for the sport.
#26
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I'm kidding brah, the other times I've seen you on UG you were cool with me so we're cool, cool?

(Invalid img)
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#27
Quote by Trowzaa
What's the best part about child porn?


All of it.




I don't get that.
"You're not hardcore unless you live hardcore"
#29
There was only ONE Michael Jackson, and there are BILLIONS of children.

Couldn't we have let him have a few?
#31
Quote by devourke
What do you call a townie in a game of Insane Mafia?

Dead


I have no idea wat this is
Saint Louis Blues
#35
Cool, a secret YLYL thread.

Yay, inb4 inevitable lock.


How can you tell a pedo is having a party?
By all of the bicycles in the driveway.

Why did the pedo go to walmart?
Boys pants were half off.
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
Sadly this is Ultimate-guitar, not Simple-guitar. We can't help you.


#36
A man and his girlfriend are arguing on the front porch. The man asks, "Why are you so mad, babe?"

The girlfriend answers, "The neighbors said you were a pedophile."

The man answers, "Now, how does a little girl like you know a big word like that?"
#37
Quote by aeroslash09
How do you get a crusty punk out of the bathtub?

Put water into it.

ive witnessed that
>>-(ಠ_ಠ-<<
>>-(. Y .)-<<
>>> . (<<<
>>-( Y )-<<
Quote by dudetheman
Dude, your fucking sig creeps me out.

Quote by Kosh H
I just noticed his sig too...I feel uncomfortable now...

Quote by WantsLesPaul
Your sig killed my boner _


DIY SO-CAL PUNK LABEL
#38
It's business as usual for a bartender, and one day as he is cleaning his bar when an unusual customer walks in. The man is dressed in an expensive suit, has a beautiful supermodel hanging off each arm, and has a limo parked outside. Furthermore, the man has an orange for a head.

The customer sits down at the bar and orders everyone a drink. He pays for it from a roll of hundreds and manages to get the attention of every woman in the joint, despite having an orange for a head.

The bartender is not a man to pry, but he feels compelled to ask about this man's life.

"Excuse me," says the bartender, "I can't help but notice that you're obviously fabulously wealthy and irresistable to women, but you have an orange for a head. How did that happen?"

So the man told his story.

"A while back, when I was penniless, I was walking along the beach and saw an old lamp, half buried in the sand. I picked it up and gave it a clean, and POOF! out popped a genie. The genie explained that he had been trapped in that lamp for two hundred years, and that he was so grateful to me for freeing him that he would give me three wishes.

"For my first wish I asked for an unlimited fortune. The genie said 'It is done!' and from then on, whenever I needed money, it was there.

"For my second wish I asked for the attention of all the most beautiful women in the world. The genie said it was done, and since then I have been able to get any woman I wanted.

"For my third wish -- and, this is the bit where I kinda ****ed up -- I asked for an orange for a head."
>>-(ಠ_ಠ-<<
>>-(. Y .)-<<
>>> . (<<<
>>-( Y )-<<
Quote by dudetheman
Dude, your fucking sig creeps me out.

Quote by Kosh H
I just noticed his sig too...I feel uncomfortable now...

Quote by WantsLesPaul
Your sig killed my boner _


DIY SO-CAL PUNK LABEL
#39
Quote by metalh3ad88
A man and his girlfriend are arguing on the front porch. The man asks, "Why are you so mad, babe?"

The girlfriend answers, "The neighbors said you were a pedophile."

The man answers, "Now, how does a little girl like you know a big word like that?"

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