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#1
This thread was inspired by this Cracked article: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-you-dont-miss-your-20s-when-theyre-over/

I don't know about you guys, but during the time that I turned 18 until now, I was going through the most difficult time of my life as far as personal identity and internal feelings are concerned. It sunk me down into a year-long depression which I am very thankful to have overcome. A quarter-life crisis if you will.

I wasn't a teenager anymore, but I'm not an adult yet. You feel like a dingleberry: awkward and unwelcome.

And the media makes it sound great, doesn't it? You watch teenage comedies of students in college having the time of their lives and getting drunk and having sex all the time, but it's mostly not like that, is it? Yet everyone thinks you don't have any problems yet because you're not raising a family, but our conflicts are still raging inside.

It's like you have to juggle between life, schooling, family and friends all while trying to figure what the hell you're supposed to do with your life and you feel like the decisions you'll make in the next 10 years will greatly influence you're future.

Anyway, that's my rant. I don't know how you guys feel about it, but I find being in my 20s is much more difficult than being a teenager going through puberty and high school and nobody gives a shit about you anymore so you feel this pressure to find something to hold on to.
#2
You sound like my inner monologue.
This is why I don't like arguing on the internet.
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#3
Yay for being almost 18
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#4
I actually agree with you.
I'm 20, and still a virgin, and I want to f*cking shoot myself everyday because if it.
That's the worst of it so far.
Being 18 wasn't all bad, being 19 was horrible..just a horrid year, now I have to see how 20 goes.
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#5
I'm nearly 21, and I haven't felt hardly any of those feelings. Stressed, yes. But I'm making smart decisions, have great friends and family, and I'm looking forward to being an "adult".
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#6
Quote by Krieger91
I actually agree with you.
I'm 20, and still a virgin, and I want to f*cking shoot myself everyday because if it.
That's the worst of it so far.
Being 18 wasn't all bad, being 19 was horrible..just a horrid year, now I have to see how 20 goes.




At least there's always escapism...
#7
Sucks to be TS, my life is all booze and sex. Luckily no STDs yet.
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#8
Quote by Krieger91
I actually agree with you.
I'm 20, and still a virgin, and I want to f*cking shoot myself everyday because if it.
That's the worst of it so far.
Being 18 wasn't all bad, being 19 was horrible..just a horrid year, now I have to see how 20 goes.


I totally understand. That stuff totally drove me crazy. I went out one night, got stupid drunk, met a girl and lost my virginity at 20. I didn't care, I just felt so much pressure to do it and afterwards I felt like that pressure was just a bunch of bullshit.
#10
I'm 21 and I've been going crazy over what the **** I'm supposed to do with myself. I don't want to work for the rest of my life, that sounds so shitty. I don't mind working, I just don't want to stress over the future, you know? But now, As we get older, we HAVE to stress about it.
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#11
I lost my virginity when i was 15. It was for the same reasons, but like Phillip said, all that really results is that you realise that you were pathetic enough to give into somthing as immature as wanting sex because of the media.
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#12
Quote by Philip_pepper
I totally understand. That stuff totally drove me crazy. I went out one night, got stupid drunk, met a girl and lost my virginity at 20. I didn't care, I just felt so much pressure to do it and afterwards I felt like that pressure was just a bunch of bullshit.

That's pretty much what I'm hoping for at this point.
I remember when I was 15-16, virginity was this thing that was to be lost on a special occasion, you know? That special someone..that whole romantic thing you for some reason have. That special someone never showed up..I'm in a small town, with hardly any opportunity to move for the moment, so you know.

Now, I just want to get f*cking rid of it..every birthday I'm like..great, another year. I'm also feeling pressured to lose it.

Even if I lose it now, it's still late for me, but I don't care..it has to go.
I'm also worried every time sex comes up in a conversation..
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#13
What's up with "still being virgin at 20", this is one of those media-hypes around, you must **** before you're 10 and must have tried anal before 14, what is this bullshit all about?

There's no rule for people to lose their virginity at a certain age.

For the rest of the losers; "i can't play guitar and i'm 20" or "i'm 20 and still virgin", these things are not problems, problems are when you live in Africa and must run 50km in order to get some water to feed your family of 25 kids.

Keep on with your life, you live in the goddamn western "civilized" world, get a job and don't be a loser.
#14
They're good for jokes and amusing historical factoids but I rarely ever feel as if the 'serious life advice' given on Cracked applies to me. I don't feel very stressed at all. I have a good idea of what I want to be doing for at least the next ten years.
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#15
Quote by Krieger91
That's pretty much what I'm hoping for at this point.
I remember when I was 15-16, virginity was this thing that was to be lost on a special occasion, you know? That special someone..that whole romantic thing you for some reason have. That special someone never showed up..I'm in a small town, with hardly any opportunity to move for the moment, so you know.

Now, I just want to get f*cking rid of it..every birthday I'm like..great, another year. I'm also feeling pressured to lose it.

Even if I lose it now, it's still late for me, but I don't care..it has to go.
I'm also worried every time sex comes up in a conversation..

The wanting to get it over with I can definitely relate to. It's also curiosity and my hormones' craving of adventure that do me in.
#16
Quote by Krieger91
I actually agree with you.
I'm 20, and still a virgin, and I want to f*cking shoot myself everyday because if it.
That's the worst of it so far.
Being 18 wasn't all bad, being 19 was horrible..just a horrid year, now I have to see how 20 goes.


If you really just wanna get laid... go out to a bar or a party with a friend or two, preferably one where there is dancing. If your confidence is low, go find a girl who isn't getting a lot of attention, ask her if she wants to dance, compliment her and whatnot, and then ask her for her number at the end of the night (or make a move if you're feeling it).

If your confidence is low, you gotta try and find girls that have lower self-esteem and aren't as attractive as you'd like (shitty thing to say, but if you wanna get laid, this is an easier way to do it).

Edit: But honestly sex is overrated. If it's that big of a deal what others think about you and your sex life, just lie about it and say you get a lot.
Last edited by Shutout at Nov 5, 2011,
#17
I'm 20, I get laid regularly, have perfect grades and partake in drugs, booze and partying in general.


Sucks to be you.
#18
Yeah, as a 20 yr old right now, this is pretty accurate.


What sucks more though is that I didnt really get to enjoy those fun, easy, immature times very much when I was supposed to because I always felt guilty for being immature when I was younger, so I always made sure to correct myself immediately whenever I would start to act in such a manner. Shoulda just been a kid while I was allowed to
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#19
Quote by Shutout
If you really just wanna get laid... go out to a bar or a party with a friend or two, preferably one where there is dancing. If your confidence is low, go find a girl who isn't getting a lot of attention, ask her if she wants to dance, compliment her and whatnot, and then ask her for her number at the end of the night (or make a move if you're feeling it).

If your confidence is low, you gotta try and find girls that have lower self-esteem and aren't as attractive as you'd like (shitty thing to say, but if you wanna get laid, this is an easier way to do it).

Fact is..I'm generally considered a fun guy, always out having fun, people like me (I do have low self esteem, while not drinking and with people I don't really know well)..
It's either i'm ugly..or it's just a small town everybody knows each other type thing, I don't know.
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#20
I'm 20, almost 21, and I can honestly say I'm not where I thought I'd be. Like OP said, you think it's going to be nothing but parties and women. My life just isn't like that.

Six months ago I was on top of the world. I started a new job in a new city. I was in a city full of young people, parties everywhere, I had money and I had friends. Six months later I lost that job and now I have no idea what to do. I never found that perfect girl, I'm not partying and I'm facing financial ruin. I'm stuck in a city that's not my home, but I'm not ready to leave just yet. I can't deal with a move again.

Things pick up, but with the economy/society the way it is, it's difficult for the 20 somethings out there to get ahead.
#21
Quote by Krieger91
I actually agree with you.
I'm 20, and still a virgin, and I want to f*cking shoot myself everyday because if it.
That's the worst of it so far.
Being 18 wasn't all bad, being 19 was horrible..just a horrid year, now I have to see how 20 goes.


Trust me, sex is only a big deal when you haven't had it yet.
I'm 21, had a 3 year sex-filled relationship. Now I'm happily single and masturbating.
Guys don't need sex, they just need a girlfriend to feel better. Sex is just a bonus. Like sprinkles on a donut.

As far as I'm concerned it's entering the world of work/studying that is really stressful and depressing. Reality bites hard when you're outta school.
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#23
I'm 15 and sooo scared to get older.... it's horrible! And I have to decide which way in life i want to go (Job) everyone expects an answer of me but i simply can't, it drives me nuts =(
#24
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You sound like my inner monologue.

this
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#25
Quote by Krieger91
Fact is..I'm generally considered a fun guy, always out having fun, people like me (I do have low self esteem, while not drinking and with people I don't really know well)..
It's either i'm ugly..or it's just a small town everybody knows each other type thing, I don't know.

You'd think small town would work in your favor. Small pond and all.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#27
As much as i want to sympathise with people posting serious replies, your life is what you make of it. Yes, often you slip back, but its how you get up out of situations that makes you stronger.

For me to say "LOL GET OVER IT FAGS" would be useless and hypocritical.

But instead of wondering how things may have been different, You need to realise that in a few years time, you'll be looking back on yourself right now. Thinking about how things would have been different then too.

Personally, aulthough i hate who i am, i have learnt so much about life that it makes all the struggles seem worth it. So in a way; i don't regret anything.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



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Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Nov 5, 2011,
#28
I don't think people at the age of 20 should count as people in their 20's. Obviously they're still in college/university and have no financial worries and not jealous that some of their friends are already making lots of money.
#30
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
As much as i want to sympathise with people posting serious replies, your life is what you make of it. Yes, often you slip back, but its how you get up out of situations that makes you stronger.

For me to say "LOL GET OVER IT FAGS" would not be useless and hypocritical.

But instead of wondering how things may have been different, You need to realise that in a few years time, you'll be looking back on yourself right now. Thinking about how things would have been different then too.

Personally, aulthough i hate who i am, i have learnt so much about life that it makes all the struggles seem worth it. So in a way; i don't regret anything.



I know that feel, bro.
#31
Quote by metaldud536
I don't think people at the age of 20 should count as people in their 20's. Obviously they're still in college/university and have no financial worries and not jealous that some of their friends are already making lots of money.


I'm 20 years old and I've already been out of college for over a year. On top of that I moved 2000kms for a job, got screwed over and am now on my own with no job and a lot of expenses.
#32
Quote by metaldud536
I don't think people at the age of 20 should count as people in their 20's. Obviously they're still in college/university and have no financial worries and not jealous that some of their friends are already making lots of money.


I am on unemployment. I just had to leave my apartment cus me and the girlfriend split. I am twenty. I just play guitar and get high.
#33
Quote by metaldud536
I don't think people at the age of 20 should count as people in their 20's. Obviously they're still in college/university and have no financial worries and not jealous that some of their friends are already making lots of money.


You cannot generalise everyone's situations, bro.
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Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



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#36
Quote by metaldud536
Neither can that article.


Its pretty safe to generalise that everyone's got problems.
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Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
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#37
I think things suck no matter what age you may be. Well they don't suck cos that's pretty negative and just not true, but they always have potentional to suck.

Like right now, I'm 18, nearly 19, and overall I guess I'm happy but mainly that's cos I think about my life and I feel guilty for being down cos in the grand scheme of things I'm not in that bad a situation. Got good friends, supportive folks and I'm getting an education in something that I do geuinely think is interesting most of the time.

So when something gets me down like having one of those days that is just a series of unfortunate events that never seems to stop kicking you when you're down just to make you realise that you're maybe not so happy as you think, I don't like myself for being down if that makes any sense at all. I just think "Shit could be worse.", buck the **** up and move on with my life. I sometimes think that maybe it's cos I do this and don't take action that I don't have any real sorta fulfilment in life. I don't find the same sorta joy I do in things like music that I used too, I don't have someone to share it with and everything just seems a little grey toned compared to what it used to be.

I'm not sure what I mean to accomplish by saying all this but I think my point is that no matter what stage in your life you're at, you can't blame a sucky life on solely being at that stage in your life.

I don't really know if anyone is arguing to the contrary, I think I just wanted to say some of that.

Cheers folks.
#38
Quote by AmirT
Keep on with your life, you live in the goddamn western "civilized" world, get a job and don't be a loser.

Because obviously for someone to have problems, they need to be a starving African baby.

OT: I know what you mean, but I'm not even 20 yet. If life is shit right now then from what I hear it just gets worse and worse until you're old enough to retire.
#39
This might be a bit weird for some of you...

I am 20 and have been rather severely depressed for about 5 years. My problems are more existential than anything; I consider myself a really spiritual person, but at the same time I am an atheist. (because spirituality and religion are actually two completely different things) I don't want this to turn into a religious debate, and I don't have a problem with religion at all. There are certain things a person can realize which really change your life, if you know what I mean.

When I went into high school like 6 years ago, I changed a lot. I always thought the whole "teenage angst" thing was complete BS, and I still think it's stupid now. I just had to grow up really fast because my mom died when I was 14, and everything changed for me.

I began to analyze all the kids around me, seeing how bright these guys actually are. That was when I really noticed how dumb people are in general. Over the course of the last 5 years, I went from being a really horny 15-year-old to an extremely antisocial, almost hermit-like 20-year-old with absolutely no interest in women whatsoever even though I am straight.

I'm a virgin and I don't even give a shit, because I know that I am better off this way than having to put up with the kind of girlfriend BS that I have seen a few of my friends go through. I had a girlfriend once, but I lost interest in her really quickly. All of the relationships I have seen friends go through just seemed like a bunch of pretentious crap to me anyway, and I don't get why anyone would actually want to go through all of that if they were thinking with the right head.

That's my rant.
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#40
I have ideas of what I want to do and stuff, and I wouldn't say i'm depressed or anything, but the last handful of months have been shitty and pointless to me. I feel as though my life is currently at a stalemate, with very little if any progression. All I ever do is go to school, go to work, and sleep. It sucks. So i'll agree with the 18-20s age being lame so far. But judgement is still out.

Quote by Krieger91

I'm 20, and still a virgin, and I want to f*cking shoot myself everyday because if it.


That's a stupid ass reason to want to kill yourself.
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