#1
in high school i used to
brush my hair to the left but now i
brush it to the right-i didn't know
what i was doing back then-
i used to smoke enough pot to
make me not want to do
anything else, and then stop-
if life at the age of twenty-three
is just foreshadowing for life at the
age of twenty-four, then i can't wait to
celebrate in 357 days-
someone will get me a cake,
someone will get me socks,
someone will get me a card,
someone will get me pajamas,
someone will get me a cd,
someone will get me another cd,
and so on and so forth,
the anticipation is killing me,
so much that i almost just now forgot to
breathe-imagine that! me at twenty-three,
just learning again how to breathe.
Last edited by rushmore at Nov 5, 2011,
#3
Quote by #1 synth
the saddest thing about this poem is that cds will be gone soon


"The man that hath no music in himself, nor is not moved with concord of sweet sounds, is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils. The motions of his spirit are dull as night, and his affections dark as Erebus. Let no such man be trusted."
#4
i really like the last 3 or 4 lines. i think it's kind of sad how repetitive this makes life seem.
#7
this carries such a wonderfully ironic underbelly of sorrow- the execution was subtle but consistent enough to be revealed in the reading. nicely done. anaphora usually bugs me but it was executed well here.
#8
Damn you're talented. The entire thing is facetious and sad, carrying that idea of the monotony of life perfectly. The "Someone will get me" lines, I thought were a little stale until I read "another cd" which genuinely made me laugh after that they read like a build up to the punchline. The only criticism I have is last three lines using 'just' twice :/ I don't know, it's not sitting right with me.
Once again a fresh idea and delivery, well executed and very well written; We expect nothing less of you.
Music is an art form that celebrates potential. So long as you're looking for it, you'll always find it.
#10
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja