#1
I was fifteen years old
the first time I heard Simple Plan
I was all alone in Caracas
and so desperate for American contact
that I would even listen to some shitty pop punk band
as long as they sang in English

When I heard Welcome To My Life
I knew that no one knew who I was
or what it's like to be like me
but somehow,
I believed that everything would be okay

I don't think I'll ever find someone like me
but I keep writing
in the hopes that one day they'll find me
and something I said can save their life
#2
I dont really get where this is meant to be going, it just seem sto jump around different subjects, maybe it would make more sense if i knew what" welcome to my life" is, if its a simple plan song then it seems wierd to say they suck then go on and say they saved your life. If its not a simple plan song you should make that more clear..

but yeah simple plan do suck
#4
I liked it. It doesn't say much but it's easy to read between the lines here. (Or usually in my case, read too much between the lines). However, I don't think I can appreciate the simpleness of everything. I like big pictures and there just doesn't seem to be any here.
#5
i kinda agree with ali here. your pieces are consistently written in this style, and i can appreciate that. you have some pieces that really hit me, and some others, such as this, i feel like you're telling me rather than showing me. I actually thought your first stanza was real interesting. The details of listening to Simple Plan as a little kid in Venezuela was such an interesting image, and it was simply because it had details. I think if you edit this and try to show the reader more it would really improve. The emotion is there but just saying it doesn't do much for me, personally.
here, My Dear, here it is
#6
agreed- consistent style but the effectuality of this piece feels deflated. by the end the messages corrolates to that of a simple plan song itself, which I desperately hope was not your goal. and if so, it could do with some dressing up then, at least. this kind of confessional poetry greatly benefits from quick diction to make for the lack of strong conceit, and I would suggest working more within the idea itself than forcing out a diary entry. I know you can do better than this.