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#1
Pretty self-explanatory

I'll start!!!

"When that day comes I shall Futterwacken ... vigorously."
~ The Mad Hatter



#2
My penis is monstrously huge.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#3
Quote by Trowzaa
My penis is monstrously huge.

My penis is bigger than yours.
Quote by travs2448

How many of you are vegan?
Hopefully none

Does anyone know any fun recipes?
Yeah a big juicy flank steak

What can be done with tofu?
Nothing it taste like crap

Is there such thing as vegan meat? Vegan sausages ect
WTF ARE YOU ON?
#7
I own 3 cars
"Social correctness has traditionally had nothing whatever to do with reason, logic, or physics. In fact, in England it is generally considered socially incorrect to know stuff or think about things."
-Douglas Adams
#8
Quote by Trowzaa
My penis is monstrously huge.


mine is too. sometimes i stuff teddy bears and llamas up it to see how yellow they are when i reach in and pull them out.

nothing special
#9
My Godfather was the very first bassist in Radiohead, he was Jonny's best friend!
Jonny Greenwood kissed me on the forehead at my christening!
#10
Quote by Basti95
I'm so much better than all of you i don't even

Oh, and my penis is monstrously huge.
#11
Quote by Shr3dz0r
ITT: People lie about how big their penis is.


I have a tiny penis....
Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

Did you hear the one about the boy with the short atten
#12
Quote by That_Hot_Guy
My penis is bigger than yours.


inb4 soad reference

my **** is much bigger than yours, my **** can walk through the door. with the feeling so pure, it has you screaming back for more. My shit stinks much better than yours, my shit stinks right back through the floor. with a feeling so pure, it has you coming back for more.
#13
Quote by Trowzaa
My penis is monstrously huge.

Quote by That_Hot_Guy
My penis is bigger than yours.

pics or it didn't happen

OT: I got nothin'
#14
My bowel movements smell of cinnamon pastries.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#15
Quote by Basti95
Oh, and my penis is monstrously huge.

Did you just quote yourself?
ggg1 ggg3

.
#16
Quote by OtherGuy
My Godfather was the very first bassist in Radiohead, he was Jonny's best friend!
Jonny Greenwood kissed me on the forehead at my christening!


now thats something to show off. jks. you have a smaller penis that me so i dont care!
#18
Quote by behind_you
Did you just quote yourself?

Editing is for people with small penises
#19
my dad could beat up your dad.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#20
Quote by theogonia777
my dad could beat up your dad.



My mum could beat up your dad
"Ladies and gents."

That concludes our tour of the toilets.
#22
Quote by TheQuailman
My dad could beat up your mom!


Thinking about it, he probably did.



Well you are a doody head
"Ladies and gents."

That concludes our tour of the toilets.
#24
Quote by TheQuailman
He also beat my mom while she was pregnant with me.


Oh shit.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#26
Quote by OtherGuy
My Godfather was the very first bassist in Radiohead, he was Jonny's best friend!
Jonny Greenwood kissed me on the forehead at my christening!

That is so awesome I don't even know what to say.


OT: I have dual citizenships...?

I really have nothing to brag about
#27
Quote by Trowzaa
Oh shit.

No need to make a big deal out of it. I don't want it to overshadow everything I do, don't want to let it rule my life, y'know? Especially since I made it up.
#28
I'm the only person in the world who can make a woman orgasm by just staring at them.
Quote by PsiGuy60
Banned for respecting my opinion and politely disagreeing.
You're probably the most respectful person in the Pit.
#31
I have perfect pitch and am ambidextrous.
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: Chick Corea, Yes, Genesis, Jethro Tull


It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#32
Last week, I got a perfect week of models. and I'm in a fuc king rocking band too that plays mad festivals
You want some more seeneyj hate? WELL YOU CAN'T HAVE IT

You're all a bunch of f*cking slaves! - Jim Morrison

UG Awards
1st: Biggest Ego
1st: Most Likely To Become Famous
1st: Most Pretentious User
#35
i am a black belt, i practice Iaido and i am a volunteer blacksmith on weekend with my father at a local heritage village. I had a public access TV show for 7 years before the government shut the station down and i have done a podcast for 4 years (210 shows and counting). i am also successfully married for 18 years and have had numerous foreign exchange students live with us. Currently i am working on a documentary about Pinball and i am really proud of all these things but do not ever bring them up unless there is a "bragging" thread on forums that i enjoy being a member of.
Quote by BlackVoid
Every guitar and bass forum I've visited has some people chasing some magical tone that will shoot jizzing unicorns riding on a rainbow out of their amp.
#36


I made that. It was pretty delicious.
I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful. ~Author Unknown
#38
I skipped school and fapped this morning.
The lake was silent for some time. Finally it said:
"I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected."
#39
I'm going to make beer for a living. That's about it.
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


Quote by titsmcgee852
I want to look at your sexual naked body.
#40
I own an awesome car that turns heads everywhere it goes. I don't really have anything else to brag about.


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