jtaf
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2010
265 IQ
#1
I have two versions of the song, the second one has less repetition of the synth riff that repeates throughout the song. I would really appreciate any opinions about which one is better, along with a more detailed crit, if you have time. The second version is on my second post.
Thanks a lot
Attachments:
v 1.gp5
Last edited by jtaf at Nov 13, 2011,
bassburton
Multi Genre Influenced
Join date: Jan 2007
1,365 IQ
#2
Bues lo que note mas que nada es que le falta variacion. Aun asi... es Guitar Pro, asi que eso es de esperarse. TIenes buenas melodias... pero el problema es que a estructura es bastante predecible. No vas por mal camino. Pero todavia puedes pulir la cancion, agregarle mas partes, como un puento o mas melodias. Un cambio de ritmo tampoco vendria. Tambien darle mas variedad al bajo ayudaria mucho.

Por cierto... Pude notar que hablas español por los marcadores en la cancion. ¿De donde eres?
The clock strikes midnight
When tomorrow and today collide
The moon is at its highest
And the twilight seems fitting
For in these moments
The light at the end of the world
Shines like a thousand suns....


Victor Gutierrez
Joshua1207
Hipster Jesus
Join date: Mar 2009
1,804 IQ
#3
The song starts off okay, but it gets really boring after you repeat that same thing for like 48 bars practically. The sawtooth riff was fine at first, but it gets annoying after so much. And the drums are very unfitting in the song. The song is seemingly upbeat, but the drums don't accompany it too well, but that may be guitar pro's fault. Even if it is though, add in some variation to it.
The chorus was okay but p much suffers the same problem as the rest of the song. And the acoustic is too bland throughout. The clarinet stuff you had playing though was really good, so that is a plus.

I'm sorry if I came off as rude, I'm just trying to help you improve your songwriting.
Please critic back https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1492189
Last edited by Joshua1207 at Nov 8, 2011,
jtaf
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2010
265 IQ
#4
Thanks a lot for your comments, Ill keep in mind what you said. I made an edited version, which reduces the repetition of the synth riff, but Im not really sure if its actually better than the original. Any thoughts on that would be incredibly appreciated.
Bassburton: soy de chile
Attachments:
v 2.gp5