#1
Hey there, I've seen some helpful advice being bandied about in here so thought I'd politely ask you for some more.

My band is a 3 piece (guitar/bass/drums) when we first started (after losing 2 members/changing our name) the drummer was waiting for University to start and being in the band was a big deal to her.
Since University has begun she now works Friday nights until 10, we've been offered several gigs in Manchester and surrounding areas on a Friday night but have had to turn them down due to this. Last week she wasn't working but told us we couldn't do a last minute Friday night gig as she was going out.
This is an issue as myself and the bassist really want to get out there and play gigs/make a name for ourselves.

There is also an issue with creativity, her drum patterns seem limited to straight 4/4, no fills, minimal cymbal use - she says she is influenced by punk and so "uses a lot of bass drum" but even that isn't true.
She isn't very receptive to constructive criticism yet continuously asks what we would like the drums to do in a song, then when we try to ask for something she brushes it aside or forgets our suggestions.

Myself and the bassist have had people tell us we should lose the drummer and find someone free to gig Friday nights, but I'm just wondering what you guys would do? Have you been in a similar situation?

She is our friend and we don't particularly want to lose the friendship but we do want the band to move forward and currently we seem to have hit a wall.


Thanks for any suggestions you may have.
#2
Don't kick her out yet, but try to find a replacement and have a practice or two behind her back. If it works, kick her out. Doesn't sound like you're gonna get too far with her in the band.
#3
Maybe I am the a$$hole here, but I'd say to just kick her out. You guys wanna go somewhere, and she clearly doesn't/can't. So you either have to sacrifice your drummer or sacrifice your dream. Try and explain it kindly to the drummer so you don't burn any bridges and are still friends and all, but make the best business decision and find someone else.
#4
Quote by piszczel
Don't kick her out yet, but try to find a replacement and have a practice or two behind her back. If it works, kick her out. Doesn't sound like you're gonna get too far with her in the band.

do this but if it works with someone else just have a quiet talk with her explaining why she has been kicked out
#5
Quote by piszczel
Don't kick her out yet, but try to find a replacement and have a practice or two behind her back. If it works, kick her out. Doesn't sound like you're gonna get too far with her in the band.


Nice. Let's say you're in a relationship and the relationship is having difficulties.

Your solution: "Don't break up just yet, but screw around for a while behind her back. If you find someone you like, dump her."

Is this seriously how you think? Really?! How old are you? 15?

No, the solution here is clear. It's just like any other relationship. Confront her but don't attack her. She needs to see the issue, the problems it is causing, and how it affects the band as a whole. If she is willing to fix it, let her try to fix it. If she does, great. Problem solved.

If she is unwilling or unable to fix it, then at least she knows where everyone stands, what her options are, and will be forced to understand why things are going the way they are.

CT
Could I get some more talent in the monitors, please?

I know it sounds crazy, but try to learn to inhale your voice. www.thebelcantotechnique.com

Chris is the king of relating music things to other objects in real life.
#6
My only advice would be to make sure that she knows that there is a seperation between the friendship and the business...

You value her friendship, but business wize, it's just not working...

Tough situation bro... Good luck...
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#7
she says she is influenced by punk

Kick her.


But really, find a replacement, have a jam or two, then tell her you're not gonna play with her anymore, preferably in a nice way.
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#8
Quote by axemanchris
Nice. Let's say you're in a relationship and the relationship is having difficulties.

Your solution: "Don't break up just yet, but screw around for a while behind her back. If you find someone you like, dump her."

Is this seriously how you think? Really?! How old are you? 15?

No, the solution here is clear. It's just like any other relationship. Confront her but don't attack her. She needs to see the issue, the problems it is causing, and how it affects the band as a whole. If she is willing to fix it, let her try to fix it. If she does, great. Problem solved.

If she is unwilling or unable to fix it, then at least she knows where everyone stands, what her options are, and will be forced to understand why things are going the way they are.

CT


This.

Just talk to her about it. Tell her that the band cannot function properly without playing gigs, which they can't do with her current situation, then ask her what she suggests.
If she's any sort of a friend, she'll see that she's holding the band back and either do something about her current situation or volunteer to step down so that you are free to find a replacement.
#9
It's interesting in these situations how this always happens. Somebody has one reason for wanting to kick someone out of the band (in this case, lack of Friday availability) and yet they pile on a whole bunch of other ones.

The simple truth is that one reason is enough, if it's a real problem. But you should be able to talk to her about these issues.

But it shouldn't matter how good she is if the reason for kicking her out is her friday availability.
#10
My advice is to talk to her, discuss the issues she's creating, compromise. Maybe have a drummer that plays for Friday nights only, and any other time when she's free, she plays. She stays and you get gigs on Fridays, I think that's a good compromise. But depending on the situation, if she refuses and disagrees, kick her. She's holding you back, all of you. If she's the band leader then you two will have to leave and form a band with a different name.
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