#1
Uploaded here

Hanging out in rusty cars
Talking carbouretor hearts
Casting friends in parts
In bad movies

Although she knows the lines
The devil in her eyes and stars
It's his motives that she
Finds moving

Every rhyme is something lost in time
And something stained by love and hate
The player not the game
Nothing ventured nothing gained

Every rhyme is something lost in time
And something stained by love and hate
The player not the game
Just a habit that's ingrained

Hair down in her eyes
Lies are bruises never felt
Hit her harder than
His belt buckles

Lying on the bedroom floor
Hid behind the door flung open
Writing poetry
Like skinned knuckles

Every rhyme is something lost in time
And something stained by love and hate
The player not the game
Nothing ventured nothing gained

Every rhyme is something lost in time
And something stained by love and hate
The player not the game
Just a habit that's ingrained

Every rhyme is something lost in time
And something stained by love and hate
The player not the game
Just a habit that's ingrained
Nothing to see here. Move along.
#2
nice recording
it feels pretty scattered at first (through the first 4 stanzas) but the second stanza and of course the chorus feel better on second read. I like the first stanza a lot but does it fit? kind of felt like something that started the writing process but the piece moved in another direction once you got going. And that was an unwelcome feeling because it kind of took a while to reel the reader/listener back from that place.

good little song
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me