#1
This is a poem that could potentially become a song. Just needs some criticism.


Patience (Or Lack Thereof)

Time drags a ball and chain
eyes closed, patience drained
my legs are asleep
analog clock stays the same

can't contain these thoughts
mind wandering with no aim
the mahogany table's stain
fractal patterns on the floor
clutching a pebble, take aim
shatter the glass on the door

I wouldn't dare

fingers wrapped around it
what would even happen?
would the glass burst apart?
snowflakes gracefully falling
shredding the air thinner
separating the dust and skin

these are the things I wonder
when waiting is an eternity
when the minute hand staggers
suddenly, meaningless matters
#2
im not the biggest fan of rhyming but this is not bad. i think the third line in the first stanza should be longer maybe adding "while the" to the end.
good work