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#1
A place for Musician jokes, parody lyrics/names/etc., funny stories. just pertaining to funny things that happen in music or our imagination.
#5
What do you call a group of musicians that are all made of a bouncy, stretchable material? A rubber band. HAHAHAHA I just made that up.
Fender Lite Ash --> TC Polytune --> Digitech Whammy V --> MXR Phase 90 --> EHX Small Clone --> Strymon Orbit --> TC Flashback X4 --> Rivera R55
#8
Inb4 G#m

How many indie kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It's a really small, obscure number you've probably never heard of...
#9
inb4 banjocal's sig
Quote by kaptkegan
Don't think I've ever been sigged.


I pretty much never leave the drug thread anymore.
#10
Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for Christmas.

He said it was the best book he's ever read.
#11
Led Zep, Guns 'N Roses, Alter Bridge, Slash, Velvet Revolver, Funeral for a Friend, Yashin, The Blackout



trololoool
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#13
Quote by LostLegion
I fingered a minor and broke it

Broke what???


Pretty sure you got the joke completely wrong, bra
sim simma

who got the keys to my beema
#14
Quote by Section 5
What do you call a group of musicians that are all made of a bouncy, stretchable material? A rubber band. HAHAHAHA I just made that up.

It's amazing.
#15
Quote by JohnnyGenzale
Led Zep, Guns 'N Roses, Alter Bridge, Slash, Velvet Revolver, Funeral for a Friend, Yashin, The Blackout



trololoool

#16
Quote by LostLegion
I fingered a minor and broke it


Almost got it right there, bro.
Quote by apple_apple
oh my god! guitarViking is a genius... respect !!!

I'm GuitarViking! Don't you forget it!
#17
Quote by WholeLottaIzzy


Did I offend you? All of those bands are jokes to me. The fact that you have em all your favourite band. Well, that's hysterical.
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#18
How do you get two oboists to play in sync?


You shoot one.
EDIT: And, this
Last edited by Skullivan at Nov 16, 2011,
#19
What job description does a guitarist have?

Unemployed.


Also, why didn't the drummer get a music scholarship?

It's intended for musicians...


I just made these up out of pretty common ones that I can't remember. Meh
#20
Quote by Metallicuh
inb4 banjocal's sig



HEY! I was wondering if anyone would sig that!



EDIT: OP, How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They don't know. They can't count.

What's the difference between a viola and a terrorist?

Terrorists have sympathizers.
language
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kieli
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My Tumblr: Lots of artist recommendations, album reviews, and ideas about music (as well as some film and bike stuff).

Go Sharks! Go Wings! Go Flyers! Go Kings!
Last edited by kaptkegan at Nov 16, 2011,
#21
Quote by JohnnyGenzale
Did I offend you? All of those bands are jokes to me. The fact that you have em all your favourite band. Well, that's hysterical.

Each to their own . I love the Blackout but they're not one of my favorite bands anymore.
#22
Quote by WholeLottaIzzy
Each to their own . I love the Blackout but they're not one of my favorite bands anymore.


No? I copied the list from your favourite bands on your profile.
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#23
What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend?


Homeless
#24
Quote by JohnnyGenzale
No? I copied the list from your favourite bands on your profile.

I very rarely update that section. And I realized you copied that list.
#25
Quote by Skullivan
How do you get two oboists to play in sync?


You shoot one.
EDIT: And, this

That was supposed to be a piccolo joke.

What is an oboe good for? Fire wood.

What's a bassoon good for? Lighting an oboe on fire.
pinga
#26
what has 7 arms and sucks?

def leppard
The future is no place to place your better days
#29
Quote by flecktowned
what has 7 arms and sucks?

def leppard

HEY!!! Def Leppard has 9 arms.
#33
if the music I made were a woman, I'd **** the shit out her. and might even call the day after
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#34
And James Hetfield is still the table.
So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world.
~Jack Layton 1950-2011
#35
Quote by Metallicuh
inb4 banjocal's sig
I feel very special right now

C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar.
The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors."
So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat.
An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying,
"Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this
relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and
exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in
a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.
The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company
downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could
be a major development."
This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and
everything else, and stands there au naturel.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the
diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at
an upscale correctional facility.
On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even
accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so
patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto
much treble, he needs a rest - and closes the bar.
they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
Last edited by Banjocal at Nov 16, 2011,
#36
As I fingered a minor, I broke the g string.


LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."

~ Kurt Cobain ~
#37
Quote by iwannabesedated
How is Metal and an Apple similar?

They are both most enjoyable when you avoid them


sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#38
Quote by Banjocal
I feel very special right now

C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar.
The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors."
So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.
After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat.
An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying,
"Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this
relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and
exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in
a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.
The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company
downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could
be a major development."
This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and
everything else, and stands there au naturel.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the
diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at
an upscale correctional facility.
On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even
accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so
patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto
much treble, he needs a rest - and closes the bar.

This thread can just go ahead and end now. Banjocal won it.

281-330-8004, that's my cell phone number, hit me up on the low
#39
Quote by moscaespañol
This thread can just go ahead and end now. Banjocal won it.
they're coming to take me away
ha-haaa
#40
Maybe not a joke per se but a very clever and beautiful music metaphor in Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah

"Well it goes like this the fourth the fift, the minor fall and the major lift
the baffled king composing Hallelujah"
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
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