Well, well...

After trying out different genres, I've returned to the genre I write the best;

Some sort of extremely catchy, hardcore-based melodic music with lots of different inspirations (and different timesigs from time to time).

Anywho, this is the first song I've been getting past the first writers block with, and I'm basically wondering if anyone would like to give some feedback on what I've got so far.

Of course, I will keep the thread updated throughout the progress.

heavy HC.gp5
heavy HC v2.gp5
heavy HC v3.gp5
heavy HC v5.gp5
heavy HC v6.gp5
Last edited by Christopher S at Feb 16, 2012,
Thanks touke! It's way too short, of course, because it isn't finished yet. I'm not really sure where to go next, though, cause I kinda wanted to take this in a catchy, post-hardcoreish direction, with more distorted guitars and more straight forward vocals. Not sure yet though.

I'll take a look at it when I get back from work.
I like the This Town Needs Guns-esque intro, but to be honest I wasn't keen on how cheesy the solos sounded... If you were to complete this piece I'd enjoy it most if you kept it fairly downtempo, and the odd distorted guitar drop into a nice epic chord based thingy. I love the drums you've written - keep those up! - but if I were you I'd try to stay away from the meloshred soloing.
This Town Needs Guns? What did I miss. :O

The solos are a bit cheesy, indeed, but I kinda like them. However, I will try muting them and writing the piece alltogether before adding the leads again.

Of course I intend to complete the piece, but I feel as I need to jumble it about at some point, to keep it interesting. Don't know how to do that yet. :/
Chord based is deffo the goal btw.

Thanks bro, I love writing drums.
Intro - Cool intro, nice build-up. I like the drums.

Expand - I like the chords here , and I think the solo is pretty good. Melodic, and everything, but bar 41 sounded strange. Anyway, the chords give a nice feel to this. I'm liking it a lot.

Break - I like the drums, the calm chords are great too. The tapping riff is cool too.

Overall, I'm liking it a lot. I would give a more detailed crit, but I just finished critting a pirate song and I was very excited about krakens and everything, then this song just gets me calm again . Anyway, I would like to see this when it's finished.

And if you want to crit something of mine, check my work in progress : https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1489244
Weird Patterns:
Very nicely done. Everything works together very well. GP makes it sound a little muddy, but that's not your fault. Great opener for the track.

Ride Runs:
This spiced up the arpeggiated chords, as did the quiet string part. The drum fill at 28 seems a little abrupt, maybe that's what you were going for though. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike that, I just wasn't expecting it. I loved the little fadey guitar noise in bar 29.

Really contrasts with the introduction, and follwed on very nicely. I'm a sucker for add9 chords, so I thought they were brilliant, and very well used. The lead part was great, the part in bar 37 bugged me a bit though. I don't know why, it just didn't seem to work as well as the rest of the lead part did. It wasn't bad, and it would probably sound fine in a recording, but in GP, it didn't quite sound right.

The lead part was brilliant, if anything, bar 42 very choppy with how it keeps stopping and starting.

My biggest complaint would be that this is unfinished, so there's not a lot I can write about. I'd love to hear this as a completed piece. Overall, so far, I'd say about 8/10
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
Thanks for pointing that out I didn't notice there were different versions.

My favourite drum work in the song was here. GP makes it sound a little robotic, but that's not your fault. If anything there, try and break up the toms a bit there with the kick. Maybe just some occasional right hand-left hand-kick patterns repeated as 16th notes can give a really cool feel.

Break away:
This followed on nicely from the last section. I loved the lead part, reminded me a little of Waves by Guthrie Govan for some reason or another, just without sliding all around the neck.

Slap da bass/Riffin it up:
When the slap came in, it had a really nice groove to it. I loved what the ride what doing too. When the rest of the instruments came in, I could imagine Monuments playing something like that. Everything worked nicely here. I'd say add aload of ghosted snare 16th notes on the drum track, that can sound awesome with this kind of stuff. I'll upload an example with that riff.
Drum example.gp5
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
Thanks man!
I hugely appreciate the kind words, I've been quite proud of this piece for some while, and it's good to see I'm not insane or something - haha.

I tried the ghost notes thingy, and it worked out pretty nicely. I can imagine it being ever better with real drums - thanks for pointing it out!

Gotta say, though, I really like how this song reminds you of artist I don't really listen to, haha. Of course, I know of their work, but the closest I've come is TesseracT and Periphery (and yeah, I am aware they are very similar in some ways). Mostly TesseracT's been inspirational to this piece, except the fact I'm not REMOTELY as good as Acle as a guitarist or songwriter (at least not the former, haha!).
I'm not really in the mood for a full crit at the moment but it was all pretty top-notch. One thing I will say is that I take guilty pleasure in the "cheesey" solos but that might be partially down to listening to too much Ayreon. My favourite parts where probably Break Away and the whole slap bass section up to bar 99. Where it ends atm suggests there is more to come, so write more dammit.

Guitars & Gear:
Parker Nitefly M
Sumer Metal Driver
Ibanez RGD2120Z
Two Notes Torpedo CAB