#1
Over the past 4 years of working with a band and building it up, i fear i have created a monster. How do i deal with my band?

For 9 years i have been so committed to playing in a band, so much to the extent where i build my own practice room while in college and gathered load of bands to practice there to pay for itself whilst auditioning many musicians from around the area.

eventually i understood that as long as a musician is willing to work at his talent he could prove to be a diamond part of the band, so with a great success i found an excellent drummer, and a good bassist to start off (with me playing the guitar and singing).

This went very well, we wrote and jammed songs which we will always remember.

This got to the point where we started creating music ideas that required more than 3 members. We were flying full steam ahead until this.

I was making guitar melodies that required me to sing over it and it got too hard for me to keep up with what i was writing. So then it was one or the other, sing or play guitar....

At this stage, the bassist stepped up and said he would sing... this solved the problem for the time being.

Then after this, the band had parted for a while.. until i got a phone call off the (formerly known bassist changed to singer) saying he had a new bassist to fill his position a second guitarist, and he needed a guitarist/backing singer. i.e. me and that he wanted to play a none serious charity gig. Bearing in mind i would have never have chosen the bassist because he was clearly not a strong player, but since it was for charity i didn't mind

Initially I was thrilled and excited! so to get the ball rolling we started with a list of covers to play and original material to throw in.

After the gig we got a great response and was booked up all around and the band kinda tumble weeded into being serious. This got us really far! we played a lot of good venues and got a lot of response from various press including radio and celebrities, which all exclaimed we are an upcoming band with a good future.

However all the way through this period i always had people in the audience come up to me after each show asking me why am i not the lead singer... ? oh dear..

This burned me up a bit, but my answer to that, was the way the band had come about. People from the audience had always exclaimed that the band was very good but the singer was just a bit weak (but got better)...

Anyhow after a lot of success, cash, recordings and gigs all the bands egos had been firmly stroked. and from this point a new attitude started to arise...

...Band members would book and not turn up to gigs and not notify the rest of the band about it, they would have arguments with owners of venues over our lack of organisation. There was a clear mis-communication within what all the band was supposed to be doing at a certain time and commitments were never followed up.

The singer at this time orchestrated the proposed sacking off of our drummer, and began to audition new drummers, this was heavily backed up by the bassist, and the rest of the bands opinions were not really considered. Bearing in mind our drummer is an excellent drummer, yet lacked pro activeness this made me realise a mediocre singer was getting rid of our best asset and that nobody was truly safe within the band.

this ended up upsetting me a lot and so i decided to hold a meeting in order to try and align our goals and set rules that would prevent any outbreaks of mis-communication or mis-behaviour.

in result of this meeting i found that the new bassist was very defensive about me stepping up the hold the meeting obnoxious with the way i conducted it but in result it eventually worked a treat.

now later down the line we decided to scrap our covers and finally play all of our original material. the problem im having now, is that we dont write no where near as good as we did before.

In rehearsals i often sit quietly waiting on the bassist, the drummer and the second guitarist to be quiet from making a racket and the bassist would play some absolute... and yes this is the correct word for it... SHITE!!! he would slap his bass randomly loudly and annoyingly. The Second guitarist has slowly become a riff maker and the drummer is most certainly an excellent 'yes man' if you get my expression but he can play literally anything! the singer never does practice his singing but can help right music brilliantly. I feel am very committed to push things forward as so is the singer, however i am finding every time i try to do things for the right the bassist is very objectionable of me doing anything and the rest of the band is unsporting of me just to avoid an argument.

Its like im carrying every burden myself when in conflict. I have been committed to creating this in particular band for 4 years now. We have achieved a lot and still could probably do more.

Its starting to get the point now, where as when i have an idea likewise for a song it gets thrown to aside by the bassist and no one will support me just to avoid an argument.

However what ever the singer makes is amazing to the bassist and gets pushed forward. when i have an idea to record it gets thrown to aside and the band is again unsupportive, when the singer has an idea to record it gets pushed forward??? and this re occurs with a lot of stuff and still happens now.

There was even a song i wrote where i sang it as a guest appearance, you know to mix things up little. and it wasnt a bad song, i know this because it probed a lot of question as to why im not the singer in the band by the fans... after a few months we scrapped the song from our set list for obvious reasons of making the singer look bad, however the bassist mocks it as if it was a poor quality song (even though we often got people complimenting it) and the band strangely back him up now. Its like his opinion means more than the rest of us. this upset me quite a bit, considering i put some effort into making a song (something which the new bassist has not done to date) and then being laughed at for it...

All my ideas, even though i know are right now get disregarded and passed off until with proof they are right... i know this sounds big headed of me to say but this is whats been happening since the reformation

I feel like im being pushed out of the band i started...

Please bear in mind the bassist is a very average bassist, cant play anything really inspirational or creative, and is very lacking in his ability to play.

The second guitarist im very chuffed to bits with, hes come a long way and put a lot of effort in.

the singer, does not practice with his singing or lyric writing and is not a very dynamic front man but his off stage ego, doesnt add up with his stage performance, we find the drummer is a good writer of lyrics.

The Drummer is amazing, i am really proud of him one of my best picks for the band yet he doesn't contribute to pushing things forward within the band.

IM AT THE STAGE WHERE I AM FRUSTRATED, IVE JUST HAD A POINTLESS ARGUMENT WITH THE BASSIST AGAIN, AND DON'T KNOW IF IM BEING STUPID CARRYING ON WITH THIS BAND.

IF THIS WAS YOUR BAND AND YOU WAS ME, WHAT WOULD YOU DO??

ANY Comments and suggestions will be appreciated.
#4
inb4 tl;dr

To that last question, I'd probably just leave if the singer/ex-bassist is really considering kicking such a good drummer off the band. Sounds like the band won't work well to me.
Professional lurker since 2009.
#5
I would leave. It sounds like you're not having fun at all or making the music you're interested in, and stuff like that is pretty important to being in a band.
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#6
You've created a monster

sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#8
Damn Van Hammersmith

If I were you i'd tell the bassist all the problems and see if he'd get better
"I've said that playing the blues is like having to be black twice. Stevie Ray Vaughan missed on both counts, but I never noticed. "
B. B. King

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I prefer to play with your mother

But I suppose guitar will have to do
#9
had the same in my old band.
you know what i did?
i left.

later on the band fell apart.
i lol'd
What?
#10


edit: if you want serious help go to bandleading

281-330-8004, that's my cell phone number, hit me up on the low
#11
I would leave the band, hook up with the former drummer who was very good and maybe invite the singer in as a bass player/backing singer. This way you get your singing back, your drummer back and your egotistical singer/bass player either down a peg or not part of your new outfit.
#12
Truth is...there are so many sides to this and regrettably no right or wrong answers here. It is about doing what is right for you, your music, and those you care most about. If others aren't putting the time in they should, then it is a doomed affair. Me personally, I would work on recording some demo work. Get some time with just the drummer and guitarist, whose skills you respect, and lay down some stuff. Most importantly, talk to some other bands in the area, sit in with them and Jam. If the detractors find out you are hanging with all kinds of other bands and they like your stuff and let you participate a bit, then they will come around. If not, then you will surely have a bunch of other musicians in the area willing to work with you on a new project once this thing does its inevitable implosion. Cause let's face it...nameone epic band who didn't have an absolute kick-ass bassist. I have said it for years...a great rhythm section makes everything easier and everyone look good.
#13
saw text wall...

What?! There's a clean channel on my amp?!

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#14
Quote by cypherfx20
nameone epic band who didn't have an absolute kick-ass bassist. I have said it for years...a great rhythm section makes everything easier and everyone look good.

Sex Pistols?

281-330-8004, that's my cell phone number, hit me up on the low
#15
Quote by cypherfx20
Truth is...there are so many sides to this and regrettably no right or wrong answers here. It is about doing what is right for you, your music, and those you care most about. If others aren't putting the time in they should, then it is a doomed affair. Me personally, I would work on recording some demo work. Get some time with just the drummer and guitarist, whose skills you respect, and lay down some stuff. Most importantly, talk to some other bands in the area, sit in with them and Jam. If the detractors find out you are hanging with all kinds of other bands and they like your stuff and let you participate a bit, then they will come around. If not, then you will surely have a bunch of other musicians in the area willing to work with you on a new project once this thing does its inevitable implosion. Cause let's face it...nameone epic band who didn't have an absolute kick-ass bassist. I have said it for years...a great rhythm section makes everything easier and everyone look good.


O_O

Don't your keyboard have an "enter" key?
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#16
Haha start a project with your drummer and the guitarist... "Steal" all the fans... Maybe take up bass but change it around... I would see it like a power trio with:
-YOU: acoustic guitar (rhythm) or bass and singing (the acoustic is to have that filling/deep sound which you would really have with an electric)
-The guitarist you like: lead guitar
-The drummer : drums and vocals
Then at some point find a bassist... or don't if you can make it sound good without it's all that counts or better a guy on keys who would be able to double the guitar, play leads, cover where the bass would be.
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#18
Quote by cypherfx20
Cause let's face it...nameone epic band who didn't have an absolute kick-ass bassist.


neither Skepticism nor Thergothon have a bassist. and they are both epic.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#19
Quote by JohnnyGenzale
O_O

Don't your keyboard have an "enter" key?


What the hell did I need an enter key for....This isn't the English Workshop Website and I wasn't composing a dissertaion.

Quote by moscaespañol
Sex Pistols?


Quote by theogonia777
neither Skepticism nor Thergothon have a bassist. and they are both epic.


Sorry if I did't count Punk or Doom Metal in my assumption, I should correct the comment to read a kick-ass bassist or something equally killer to replace them. As for Sex Pistols, they aren't epic and that is the point, totally differnt concept of music for them. I should not have assumed a narrow point of view on the formula for a killer band.

You can do it with whatever people you want, playing whatever instruments you want. But at the end of the day it all sucks if everyone isn't commited to the point of it all...to make great music everyone in the band can be proud of.
#20
Quote by cypherfx20
What the hell did I need an enter key for....This isn't the English Workshop Website and I wasn't composing a dissertaion.





People don't read walls of text.
If you want to make a point, make it readable.
#21
Wow Guys thank you so much! All answers which confirmed that im not going crazy in thinking them myself. ha

cypherfx20 Thank you, your response has helped me a lot! i need to jam with more of my old artist mates. And i do know a few good ens now well enough to have a jam with.

and use my time more correctly to make the music i like. fantastic i love this!

As for the band, i think im gonna tell them what i think now and go my own way whilst taking out the fruit i.e the excellent drummer and creative guitarist.

Thank you very much once again, i felt alone on this one and you have all helped clear my head so much!
#22
That was actually interesting.

get the singer songwriter guy a tin whistle, let him sing backup and tin whistle and continue to write songs together without inviting the bassist. Practice alot on your own so that a) you feel it b) you are the best musician in the bad c)??? (ego?sexytime?) d0 profit.

I'm serious good luck man.
#24
tl;dr
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#25

damnit behind_you
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Last edited by Metallicuh at Nov 21, 2011,
#27
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#28
Why Do People Always Dance When They Didn't Read?!?
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#29
I really think this is a question of assertiveness and communication. Don't try do anything behind there backs, or try to do something in spite of them. If I were you then I'd show them this thread and ask them to give there opinions on it.
This is something that if you don't tackle in this part of your life then it is probably having an effect on the rest of your life.
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#30
Quote by Metallicuh
Why Do People Always Dance When They Didn't Read?!?


Black people always dance and never read.
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#32
Epic adbot...?


I dunno, maybe I'm just paranoid.
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To the waters and the wild
With a fairy hand in hand;
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#33
We, well most of us, play music because we have a passion for it and we love the feeling of playing live. If you are not feeling that because of the people you are playing with, it may be time to cut the cord and move on.

You put together a successful band once, and you can do it again.

just remember, when one door shuts, another one usually opens in time.