#1
Deformed preacher,
strumming deformed explosions,
to deformed people with
deformed head convulsions
made to a deformed meter.
I ****ing cry my eyes out,
livid as a drunk mom dragging
a drunk as mom offspring.
"This is meant to be
listened to louder than
possible" he howled.
His lecture suddenly leaped
and the followers screech and
bow, their ears griped to the
pure preacher's paroxysm.
"This is meant to be
listened to louder than
possible" he gnarled,
but we'll never hear it since we're all
deafly ridden with postules.
Ears reject the word but
the word found it's way to my home.
I turn to flip a coin but
the bitch ties a cherry stem.
Knotted with her core, gut
swatted or fled to hustler's porn.
Her past mind with cells, all
passed turned nympho's hell
'cause of a banaustic god ridden
shit-stain that Dubai knows.
"I'm meant to be taken louder
than possible" doubtful,
peccable little attitude claws
at her first-third-born.
Child, tell me why he'd plant
in your garden? You're a little
too stupid to be off with no oxygen,
clo(ck)xygen, pump her belly over
to **** with them juicy fits. They
try to save its life, but the beast's
seen no shit-storm yet.
Last edited by ali.guitarkid7 at Nov 23, 2011,
#2
did you add paroxysm because you wanted to add or use that word? because thats what you want to never do in lyrics. it makes it obvious that your trying and not doing and doesnt make sense when the whole thing is made up of common words(not at all a bad thing) and then the random big and not widely understood word budges in. it doesn't work and will sound weird too. just a bit of criticism keep it up!
#3
No I didn't, it fits in better than "spazzed out". Thanks for the crit.

I added more to the piece now though.
#4
this is the best ive read of yours yet! you just keep getting better...
meanwhile ive been too busy to post anything.